


Alexandria

by Chuckyegg



Category: Negan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Negan (Walking Dead) Smut, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Nice Negan (Walking Dead), Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Sweet Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 08:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 58,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14667477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuckyegg/pseuds/Chuckyegg
Summary: After being defeated by Rick, Negan languishes in a cell. Coming to terms with the fact that he deserves to be there, he accepts his punishment. But with Rachel refusing to let him go, how long before he wants out?The sequel to Sanctuary.





	1. Chapter 1

"You're cheating!"

"I am fucking not!" Negan frowns as he climbs his piece up the ladder.

"You got a six, which means you should be there," Rachel points at the snake on the board.

"You're such a fucking hard-ass," Negan pouts as he goes back two spaces and slips down the snake. "Fuck."

Rachel giggles. "You're such a bad sport."

"Hey, i am not a bad sport, okay. This game is just bullshit, i mean, who the fuck plays snakes and fucking ladders anyway?"

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were winning," Rachel smirks, shifting herself on the cold hard floor as she sits outside his cell. "What's that?" She nods towards his cot.

"It's a bed, and a shitty one at that," he frowns.

"No, underneath your bed," she smiles.

Negan turns his head. "Porn," he smirks.

"Ha ha. Seriously though, is that the book i gave you? Because from the looks of that bookmark, you've nearly read it all. I thought you hated Wuthering Heights?" She asks as she raises an eyebrow.

"Fine, i gave it a fucking read, you happy? It's not like there's much else to do in here."

"Are you enjoying it?" She teases.

"No, it's shit," he frowns, his mouth curling up in the corners as he hides a smile. "Anyway, it's my fucking roll, i got a double," he adds as he rolls the dice. He moves an extra space.

Rachel rolls her eyes, grabbing the piece and moving it back. Her hand brushes against his.

Negan looks down at her, but she just gazes at his hand, her fingers slowly curling around it.

"Rachel," he says softly, shivers running up his arm as she strokes the back of his hand.

"What?"

"We've talked about this," he says, his voice low and gravelly. She looks up at him with her sky blue eyes and his heart skips a beat. Then his eyes travel to the scars on the right side of her face, and guilt hits him like a train, same as it always does. "You shouldn't keep coming here."

Rachel takes his hand, refusing to let it go. "I thought you like me coming to see you?" She smiles.

Negan tilts his head. "Of course i do, but it isn't right. Me being in here, i deserve it. Some of the things i did, it's right that i be punished for them. But you keep coming here, it's like you're doing the sentence right with me, and you don't deserve that."

"I'm not here _all_ the time," Rachel frowns, looking away from him.

"It's been nearly two years, and look at you. You.. you haven't moved on," Negan frowns.

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Fucking meet someone else. I mean, Jesus Christ, i hate the fucking piece of shit, but i'd even give you and fucking Daryl my blessing at this point. You deserve to be happy."

"I don't love Daryl, not anymore, and you know that." Negan swallows deeply as she rises to her knees, lifting his hand to her face. "Tell me you don't want me," she whispers, biting on the pad of his thumb. "God i want these hands all over me," she almost moans.

Negan bites on his lip. "You're not fucking listening to me, are you?"

Rachel shakes her head as she presses his hand against her cheek. Negan curls his fingers through Rachel's hair, pulling her closer to the cell door.

Her lips press against his, a moan escaping her needily, the cold bars pressing against her cheeks. She lets go of his hand, reaching through the bars as she wraps her arms around him, her fingers clawing at his back. Negan groans as she lowers her hand, rubbing it over the tent in his sweatpants.

"Touch me," she whispers against his mouth.

Negan pulls at her waist, her stomach pressed against the cell door as he slips a hand up her skirt. Rachel moans as he curls his fingers underneath the waistband of her panties, brushing them over her clit. She returns the favour, her hand making it's way greedily inside his boxers.

Negan groans as she strokes his length, his fingers rolling over her heat as she writhes against his hand. His lips brush against hers as his breath quickens. Rachel tugs at his pants, rubbing his cock over her stomach.

"Oh, fuck!" He groans, trying to keep quiet and failing miserably.

He hadn't had a woman since the Sanctuary, and the last woman he'd had was Rachel. Yes, he blew his load almost every other night, normally after he'd finished reading whatever book Rachel had brought for him. But this was different. Shivers run through his entire body as she touches him, the feel of her hot skin against his cock building up a heat that he hadn't felt for a long time.

He curls his fingers inside her, massaging her inner walls. It doesn't take long before she reaches her orgasm, waves of pleasure coursing through her like lightning.

As he feels her clenching around his fingers, Negan groans, meeting his own release as he shoots his hot load over her stomach.

Rachel sways her hips teasingly, her stomach rolling against the tip of his cock. Negan's legs tremble, his knees almost giving way. She smiles, kissing him sweetly through the bars.

Negan looks towards the stairs as he hears footsteps. "Shit," he frowns, fumbling to get his dick back inside his pants.

Rachel grabs a cloth from her shirt pocket, quickly wiping at herself before she pulls her vest down.

Rick steps out into the corridor, staring at Negan with a frown. He throws Rachel a sympathetic look as he runs a hand through his hair. "Joan needs some help, Daryl brought back a couple of good sized deer, she has no idea where to start with cutting them up."

"But i showed her," Rachel frowns.

"I know," Rick nods. "I think she's just squeamish."

"Well she needs to get over that, i can't keep cutting everything up myself. Anyway, what's wrong with Daryl?"

"He went back out, offered to pick up some supplies from hilltop," Rick says.

Rachel gets up off the floor, pulling her vest down as it rises, Negan's leftovers drying on her stomach. She turns to Negan with a sly smile. "I'll come see you tomorrow."

"If you can," he smiles. "Seeya."

Rachel heads up the stairs, a spring in her step.

Rick stands with his hands on his hips, staring at Negan.

"What the fuck do you want, prick? You want a hand job or something? Cos your either giving me your 'don't fuck with me eyes', or your 'come to bed eyes'. In all honesty, i really can't fucking tell," Negan chuckles.

"Cut the shit, Negan. I thought you were gonna tell her to stop coming here?"

"What the fuck do you want me to do? I'm fucking locked up. I can't stop her from coming if she wants to," Negan smiles slyly as he thinks about her doing that very thing just moments ago.

"You think it's good for her to keep coming here?" Rick asks.

Negan runs a hand over his face, his beard three weeks in the making. "No, i don't. If you really don't want her to come here, then why don't you just tell her she can't?"

Rick dips his head. "We tried that, she just threatened to leave," he shakes his head. "And i don't want her to leave."

"Then i don't know what else to say, other than my piss bucket needs emptying, and i need some more shit roll," Negan smiles.

~

Rachel sits in a garage with Joan, showing her once again how to skin deer.

"I'm sorry," Joan says. "I thought i could do it, but i can't."

Rachel sighs deeply. "Don't be sorry, it takes a lot of getting used to. You just have to stop thinking of it as an animal, zone out. It's food."

"I know, but.. it's the noise it makes, when you cut it," Joan says.

Rachel raises an eyebrow. "Just hold up a sec," she says as she gets up from her chair.

She comes back five minutes later with a boombox, placing it down on a small table. "Put this on loud enough, and you won't hear a thing," Rachel smiles.

"I never thought of doing that," Joan says.

"How about i do this one, and you do that one," Rachel points towards the deer hanging from the garage roof.

"But.. i won't be as good as you," Joan says shyly.

"You'll do fine, and if you struggle, i'll help you out. Everybody has to start somewhere," Rachel points out.

The two of them dance along to Queen, Joan doing a much better job of skinning the deer with the music blasting.

Rick walks past, a smile on his face as he watches Rachel. He wishes she'd give up on Negan. He'd gone as far as suggesting she move to the Kingdom, but she'd taken that as him exiling her, and they'd fallen out for over a month. After that he'd never mentioned it again. He hated the way some of his people talked about her. They were happy to smile in her face and accept the food she brought back from hunts, yet he'd hear them whispering as soon as her back was turned.

She was made of tough stuff though, and he liked that about her, that she didn't give a shit. It kept him up nights wondering what she saw in Negan. What could she possibly see in that asshole?

"You alright?"

Rick jumps, his mind a million miles away. "Yeah, i was in a world of my own."

Rachel smiles. "I can see that. I was thinking about going out on another hunt day after tomorrow."

Rick shakes his head. "No, i'm gonna need you at the drop off."

"Saviors?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Dwight's alright, but Simon.."

"Are you scared of him?" Rachel laughs.

"No," Rick says, shifting his feet. "It's just.. he likes you, i'd much prefer if you dealt with him. I'm not sure why they put him in charge?"

"They put him in charge because Dwight was struggling on his own, it's better with the two of them having joint leadership. It's like yin and yang," she says.

"Well i still want you there, i don't like the way he looks at me, makes me feel.. uncomfortable."

Rachel laughs, her hand covering her mouth.

"It's not funny," he smiles.

"Sorry. Anyway, if that's all, i'm gonna head home."

"Yeah, i'll seeya later," Rick nods.

"Seeya," she waves.

~

Rachel steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself as she stands in front of the bathroom mirror. She runs a hand over her neck. God it had felt good to have his hands all over her body, his lips against hers, his teeth biting her lip. Rachel shivers, trying to pull herself together.

Walking to her bedroom, she drops her towel, pulling a white t-shirt from her drawer, Negan's t-shirt to be precise. It's more a dirty cream than white, years of hand washing taking it's toll. Rachel pulls it over her head and lays on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She reaches under her pillow, taking out Negan's red scarf and turning on her side. Rachel presses her nose against it. She had a bottle of aftershave in her bathroom that Negan used to wear, and every so often she sprays the scarf. Rachel had found it helped her sleep, and sure enough her eyes flicker slowly shut.


	2. Chapter 2

"You still going out with Rick tomorrow?" Michonne asks, drinking from a red mug as she leans an elbow against Rachel's kitchen counter.

"Yeah, especially with it being the Saviors."

"Simon still making him uncomfortable?" Michonne smiles.

"Yeah, can't say i blame him though, Simon does it on purpose."

Michonne laughs, taking a sip of her tea. "God i wish this was coffee."

"I thought you couldn't stand the smell anymore?"

"Well now i can, and i want some. Not good for the baby though," Michonne rubs her growing belly.

"You want me to keep an eye out for some decaf?"

Michonne shakes her head. "No, i'd rather drink this than decaf."

"So how is the little one?"

"Growing nicely, she was kicking up a storm yesterday though, playing drums on my bladder, i swear i nearly peed myself," Michonne laughs.

"Has Rick set up the nursery yet?"

"I did it myself. He tried, but he just made a mess."

"I'll bet," Rachel smiles.

"So how are you?" Michonne asks.

"I'm good."

Michonne raises an eyebrow. "Rachel."

Rachel drops her shoulders. "I.. i didn't think you'd want to talk about the elephant in the room."

"Hey," Michonne places her hand against Rachel's. "We're family. You can talk to me about anything, even him."

Rachel shrugs her shoulders. "Nothing's changed, he's in there and i'm out here, and everybody still whispers behind my back."

Michonne shakes her head. "Not everybody. I don't."

"No, you just tell me right to my face," Rachel smiles.

"Well someone has to," Michonne laughs. "I'm not gonna pretend that i'm okay with you still visiting him. And i'm not gonna pretend that i understand why or how you can love him. But i'm here, always."

"Thanks."

"You're one of us, you belong here," Michonne assures her.

"Anyway, let's focus on what matters, like your little one," Rachel smiles. "You and Rick picked out a name yet?"

"Well, i'm thinking if it's a girl, Andrea."

"Andrea would have liked that. And if it's a boy?"

"Urgh, Rick came up with a bunch of names, but i don't like any of them," Michonne says.

"Well i'm sure you'll come up with something that sounds right."

~

Rachel steps through the door of the prison, Eugene eating a sandwich as he keeps watch over Negan.

"Hey, Eugene."

"You know the drill," Eugene says between mouthfuls of food.

Rachel takes off her bow and arrow, placing it down on the table in front of Eugene. Then she takes off her belt and removes the knife from her boot.

"Let me check those," he nods towards her boots.

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Again?"

"Doesn't hurt to be thorough and considering your relationship with said occu-"

"Alright, Eugene, no need to read me the rule book," she says as she takes off her boots. "And it wouldn't kill you to take a breath once in a while."

"That has been said and duly noted." he nods, handing her boots back over. "What's that?" He asks, pointing to a cloth bag in her hand.

"Cake."

Eugene shakes his head. "You know the rules, i can't allow said item past here else-"

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Here," she says, taking a piece of cake out of the bag and offering it to him. "Now can i take it in with me?"

Eugene reaches for the cake. "Is it chocolate?"

"Yeah."

He nods. "Alright, i think i can allow it this once."

"Thanks, can i go now?"

Eugene steps to one side. "Yeah, we're good here."

Rachel heads down the stairs, turning to her left to Negan's cell.

He's sitting on his bed, his nose buried deep in the book he supposedly hated. "Thought you didn't like that?"

Negan looks up with a smirk, placing the book down on his mattress. "Like i said yesterday, it passes the time. And i have to read each page three fucking times before it makes any damn sense," he smiles. "What's that you got there?" He asks, licking his lips as he walks over to her.

"Cake, thought you might like some? I had to bribe Eugene with a piece as usual," she smiles.

"Did you make it?"

"No."

"Gimme then," he teases.

"Shut up," she smiles, handing it through the bars.

Negan takes it from her, showing no etiquette whatsoever as he crams it in his mouth. "Hmm, that's good," he says, his cheeks puffed up like a hamster as he spits crumbs at her.

"Watch what you're doing," she frowns, wiping at her vest.

"Sorry," he smiles.

Rachel sits on the floor outside his cell, Negan following suit.

"I won't be able to come tomorrow, i've got to go to the drop off," she says.

"Saviors?" Rachel nods. Negan laughs, running a hand over his face. "Rick is such a fucking pussy."

"Stop it," she smiles.

"I can't believe Simon and Dwight are in charge over there, surprised the place hasn't gone to shit."

"Well it hasn't."

"I always thought you'd take over the Sanctuary," Negan says.

Rachel shakes her head. "No, i haven't been to the Sanctuary since..," she looks down at the ground.

Negan clears his throat. "Well you would've made a damn good leader. Especially with Simon being right up your ass. Hey, while we're on the subject of Simon, has he tried getting in your panties since i've been locked up?"

"No," she frowns.

"Well that's a fucking surprise, he was always sweet on you. Only reason he never made a move was cos i was around cock blocking his ass."

Rachel smiles, pushing her hand through the bars and stroking his fingers. Negan pulls his hand away with a frown.

"Don't," he says, shaking his head. "What happened yesterday, we can't do that again."

"Why not? Seems like you liked it," she teases.

"Of course i fucking liked it, i'm a guy, and i haven't gotten fucking laid in two years. But it can't happen again, okay?" Rachel drops her head. "Hey, look at me."

She looks up at him reluctantly. "What?"

"Don't be like that. You deserve more than a quick fucking grope through the bars, it's not happening again, and if you can't get on board with that, then i'm just gonna start fucking ignoring you every time you come here, okay?"

"Okay," she mumbles.

"Good," he nods.

"Negan."

"What?"

"Do you remember when i ran off, after that first fight with Alexandria?"

"Yes, i do."

"If you could go back to that moment, would you have left with me, like i asked?"

"In a heartbeat. But we can't go back, this is how it is now," Negan says.

~

Rachel sits beside Rick, her eyes scanning the road ahead as they ride along on a two horse cart. She glances behind her at the other two carts. "What are we trading?"

"Sorghum, we've got way more than we need. Guess we'll have to see what they have. See if it's worth trading?"

"Most likely eggs, they've got plenty of chickens up at the Sanctuary apparently," she says.

"Well i'll go for that, we're running low on eggs," Rick says. He looks out at the road with a frown. "What the hell is that?"

Rachel looks ahead. "Walkers from the looks of it."

"Christ! They're supposed to have lookouts keeping this road clear at all times," he says.

"Chill, Rick, there's only three. Stop the cart, i'll take care of them, don't want them spooking the horses."

"It's not the point, the Kingdom are supposed to have men on this stretch of the road, obviously they're not doing their job," he says as he pulls on the reins.

Rachel hops off the cart, taking her bow from her shoulders. Gabriel comes up behind her, taking out his knife. "I've got this, Gabe," she smiles. "You can help me drag them off the road though."

Rachel takes them out in quick succession, not missing a shot.

"Surprised to see you out here," she says, grabbing the walker's feet as Gabriel grabs it's shoulders.

"Why? Do you think i never leave the church?" Gabriel smiles.

"I was starting to think that, though i've seen you in action plenty enough, you're good with that.. for a man of the cloth," she nods towards the rifle on his shoulder.

He laughs. "I am when i need to be."

They finish moving the bodies to the side of the road, heading back to their carts.

"I'm gonna have to speak with Ezekiel about this," Rick says, clearly still annoyed.

"They probably found a small herd in the woods, keeping them busy. Rick, it doesn't really matter how many people you have on this road, walkers are going to slip through every so often," she reasons.

"What if it were Carl on this road? This is the main road leading to all the communities, it needs to be kept clear."

"Well, i'm thinking if Carl were on this road there wouldn't be a problem. He knows how to handle walkers, Rick. Are you still angry about him moving to Hilltop?"

"I was never angry, just.. worried, he's my son," Rick says.

"I know. Come on, we should keep going, take us another hour at the most," she smiles.

~

They ride through the gates of a large open area, otherwise known as the drop off. Rick and the other communities had decided it made sense to set up somewhere in the middle where they could meet safely and do trade with one another. There's a few warehouses dotted around, but they only used those during bad weather.

It looks very much like a market place, some people stood behind stalls, others trading straight from their carts or trucks. People from all four communities stand bartering with one another.

One man from the Hilltop tries to trade half a bushel of apples for six bars of chocolate with a Savior. The Savior isn't having it, refusing to give more than four. They agree on five, the man from Hilltop shaking his head as he walks away. "Goddamn, Saviors. Ain't never met an honest one yet," he mumbles.

"Rachel!" Simon smiles, his eyes wide as she heads over to his truck. "Good to see you."

"You too," she smiles. "What have you got?"

"Well we seem to have an abundance of eggs, amongst other things, why don't you take a look. Mark set up a stall over there," he points towards a few flip out tables.

"I will. Is Dwight around?"

"Yeah, somewhere, oh! Wait there for just one minute," he says, heading into the back of his truck. He comes back out with a CD in his hand, Rachel's eyes widening.

"Holy crap! Where did you get that?"

"Out on a run. I thought of you soon as i saw it," he smiles.

"We're not trading our stuff for a CD," Rick says from behind her.

"Rick!" Simon smiles. "I didn't see you there, what with you hiding behind Rachel. How you doing?"

Rick shifts his feet uncomfortably. "I'm good thanks, but we're not trading sorghum for a CD, what is it anyway? Arctic Monkeys," he squints his eyes as he reads the cover.

Rachel turns to him with a frown. "Rick, i don't need your stupid sorghum, i brought my own stuff," she says as she takes her rucksack from her shoulders. "Will this do it?" Rachel asks Simon as she pulls out a bottle of gin.

"Ohh," he reaches out his hand and takes the bottle, holding it almost lovingly. "This, is more than payment, take it, it's yours," Simon nods at the CD. "I was gonna give you that by the way, so why don't you go see if there's something you like on Mark's stall."

"Thanks, Simon," Rachel smiles. "Rick, why don't you see how many eggs you can get us?" She says before walking off.

Rick watches her leave, a lost puppy look on his face.

Rachel grabs a red plaid shirt and shoves it into her rucksack before browsing the other stalls around the drop off. She ends up trading a few batteries for a bottle of whiskey, and a large knife for a new pair of black boots.

She sees Dwight talking with a woman near a fruit stand.

"Hey, Dwight," Rachel nods.

"Hey," he nods. "You find anything good?"

"Got these boots, and Simon gave me a CD."

"Yeah, he wouldn't shut up about that," Dwight says.

"So how's things at the Sanctuary?" Rachel asks.

"They're good," he nods, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Sherry okay?"

Dwight clears his throat, glancing briefly at the ground. "Alright i guess. We don't really see much of each other. She started seeing some guy."

"I'm sorry," Rachel says sincerely.

"Don't be, can't say i blame her. I have a hard enough time looking at myself, must be even harder for everyone else."

"Hey," Rachel places a hand against his shoulder. "That's bloody bullshit. I know we've not always seen eye to eye, but it's bullshit all the same."

Dwight smiles shyly. "Thanks."

~

As the afternoon gets late, everyone packs up, no one wanting to travel after dark.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you," Rick whispers.

"Did what?" Rachel frowns.

"Left me to deal with Simon."

Rachel smiles. "Maybe. You managed it though, got rid of most of the sorghum. Though i don't think you'll be eating any of those eggs in your house."

"Why not?"

"Michonne can't stand the smell," Rachel laughs.

"Shit! I forgot about that," Rick frowns.

"Well, maybe if you're nice to me i'll let you use my kitchen," Rachel says.

They head out, all four communities going in different directions. The sun is fading fast before Rachel gets back to Alexandria with Rick and the others.

"I'm gonna go out hunting tomorrow," Rachel says.

"First light?" He asks.

"Maybe, i might even go tonight if i can't sleep, i love a good night hunt."

"Alright, well just be careful," Rick says, patting her shoulder gently.

"Always," she smiles.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel had gone out two hours after getting back from the drop off. Sleep had refused to take her as her mind had gone back to the day Dwight had gotten the iron. The fact that she'd stood back and done nothing still haunted her. His screams echoing around the Sanctuary, the smell of his charred skin, and most of all the way he looked at Sherry every time he passed her in the corridors.

She'd needed to get out, clear her head. Rachel had been following a trail for the last hour, the sun beginning to rise in the sky, when she hears the sound of a horse in the distance. She looks up with a frown, not sure who would be out this far as most of those with horses stuck to the roads. It was most likely someone from the Kingdom, they were responsible for the stretch of road not far from here.

Stepping out into the clearing, she sees the horse in the distance, running around the field trying to evade the dead. Rachel grabs her bow, taking the two walkers out quickly. She steps slowly towards the horse, holding out her hand.

"Easy, girl," she says softly, slowly stepping towards the horse. It lowers it's head, accepting her hand. Rachel strokes the horse softly before grabbing the reins. She looks in the saddlebags, finding a map with writing scrawled upon it. Placing it back, she pulls out a knee pad, confirming her theory that this horse belongs to the Kingdom.

Rachel places her foot on the stirrup, pushing herself up and onto the horse. Michonne had taught her to ride, and it had taken a lot of lessons, about three months worth to be precise before she had gotten the hang of it, and even then it had taken her a while to become confident enough to ride one out in the open alone.

"Come on, girl. Let's see what we can see," she says, the horse moving along at a slow trot. Rachel looks all around, trying to find any signs of disturbance. After a mile she looks down at the ground with a frown. Rachel jumps off, crouching down as she takes a good look. A lot of prints, maybe a dozen. It's the pattern that confuses her. Some look like walkers, others the living, but if she wasn't mistaken, it looked like the living were scuffling with one another. As she walks further there's blood, and what confuses her more, is the lack of bodies.

Her guess was people were fighting one another for whatever reason, and the dead came along, maybe six of them. But why no bodies? She wishes Daryl were here, he'd be able to read the tracks better.

Rachel grabs the horse's reins, following the mess of footsteps as best as she can. After a mile, she loses them. "Shit!"

As she turns to leave, she hears a rustling in the trees ahead of her. Rachel draws her knife, but she's sure it's living and not dead. Taking a few steps forward, her eyes widen as a man jumps out at her. She takes a few steps backwards, her knife at the ready, but she's not sure she'll need it as he's wearing Kingdom armour.

He falls to his knees in front of her, grabbing at her legs. "The.. the.."

Rachel kneels down in front of him. "Hey, calm down," she says softly.

He shakes his head, his eyes wide as if he'd been witness to some kind of horror. "They.." he shakes his head once again.

Rachel places her hands against his cheeks, looking him straight in the eye. "Hey, look at me. Just breathe."

He nods, but still doing no such thing, his eyes flickering from left to right and his shoulders shaking.

"You're okay now, you're safe. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," she says, and realises how ridiculous it must sound coming from a 5ft 2 woman to what looks like a 6ft man. "Just take a breath, and tell me what happened."

"They.. they were.. talking," he says, his lip trembling.

Rachel stares at him in confusion. "Who was talking?"

"The.. the dead!" He screams, tears rolling down his cheeks. He almost falls on her, his head resting against her chest as he sobs.

Rachel wraps an arm around him and pats his back softly. He must've experienced some kind of trauma, probably explained the confusion. "Listen to me, i'm going to take you back to Alexandria. You're obviously in shock-"

He pulls his head from her chest. "You don't believe me, they talked, i swear it! I heard them, i did!" He spits.

"The dead?" She frowns.

"Yes! And they had knives, you believe me, right?"

Rachel humours him with a nod. "Alright. But we need to get you back to Alexandria, okay?"

"Yes, i don't wanna be out here," he says.

~

"He wasn't making any sense," Rachel says.

She stands with Rick outside the infirmary. The Doc had given the guy from the Kingdom, or David as Rick had said his name was, a shot to calm him down, and now he was sleeping soundly.

"Well, what did he say?" Rick asks.

"He," Rachel looks away, an uncomfortable look on her face. "He said the dead were talking."

"What?" Rick laughs.

"And that they had knives," Rachel says.

"Well that's just ridiculous. He's obviously in shock."

"Yeah, those are my thoughts. But there was something weird about the whole thing," Rachel frowns.

"What's that?"

"There were no bodies, not even walker bodies, and there should have been," she says.

"Were there no tracks?" He asks.

"Yeah, but they were a mess. Daryl might have been able to make sense of them."

"He should be back tomorrow morning, maybe you should both go out. David had two other people from the Kingdom with him, we need to know what happened."

"Alright, well i'll ask him when he gets back, that's if he's not knackered," she says.

"You think you could take Judith for a few hours? I've got stuff to do and Michonne's finishing up the nursery."

"Sure, i'll go pick her up from yours," Rachel nods.

~

Rachel rolls out pizza dough while Judith stands on a chair throwing on toppings.

"Can we make one for Mommy?" She asks sweetly.

"Sure, sweetie. That's a great idea, she'll like that," Rachel smiles.

Rachel shoves the finished pizzas in the oven. "Shall we go get washed up?"

Judith nods, stepping down from the chair.

Rachel looks towards the hall as her front door opens.

"Hey," Rick smiles as he steps inside. "I see you made a mess," he adds, looking around Rachel's kitchen.

Judith shakes her head. "No, Daddy. We made pizza."

"Pizza," he smiles. "Did you make some for daddy?"

"Yes, and Mommy."

"Well that's great, she'll be very happy. Why don't you go get washed up and ready to go," Rick says. He waits till the bathroom door closes then turns to Rachel. "So David woke up."

"What did he have to say? Has he calmed down any?" She asks.

Rick shakes his head. "He's still standing by his previous story. Said that the dead were talking, and that they had knives."

"So what happened to the two guys he was with?"

Rick shrugs his shoulders. "He doesn't know. Said he was so scared her ran off."

"So what do you think happened?"

"I've no idea, but we need to get to the bottom of this. Whatever's happened, we're missing two people, and that means we have a potential threat out there. We need to know what we're dealing with," Rick says.

"I'll get right on it, soon as Daryl's back."

"You need a hand cleaning up this mess?" Rick offers.

"Well look at you, acting all domesticated," Rachel smiles.

"I do my part at home," Rick insists.

"I'm sure you do, but i'm good, won't take me long to clear this up."

~

She hadn't planned on seeing Negan, wanting to keep some distance, but she hadn't been able to help herself. Partly because she was disturbed by what David had said, but mostly because she missed him. It scared her how much she missed Negan, her heart aching after barely a day away from him.

Rachel sits with him, well past midnight and a chill in the air in spite of summer being well on it's way.

"Thanks for this, sweetheart," he smiles, downing the whiskey she'd brought him back from the market. Eugene hadn't been on tonight, but she'd managed to bribe the new guy with a glass himself, so long as she moved the whiskey to a plastic bottle rather than glass. "So talking dead you say?" Negan raises an eyebrow. "That's weird as shit."

"Well he's obviously in shock."

"Obviously," Negan says.

"But the whole thing is just weird. There were tracks, both walkers and the living, but no bodies."

"Maybe no one died?" Negan reasons.

She shakes her head. "Maybe the living made it out of there, but there was no way whatever went down there resulted in no dead walkers."

"I don't know how you can tell all that from a bunch of tracks?" Negan frowns.

"A lot of practice. I just hope it doesn't rain tonight, otherwise there'll be no tracks left."

"You going out with Daryl in the morning?"

"Yeah, he's better than i am, if anyone can figure out what happened, it's Daryl," Rachel says.

Negan huffs, taking a sip from his cup. "Daryl," he sneers. "I'm surprised that asshole can find his damn way out of a paper fucking bag."

"You're not jealous are you?" She smiles.

"No, the fuck should i be jealous for? That asshole has had two years to try and get laid. Any normal guy would've swooped in on you the minute i got thrown in here."

"He's not like that," Rachel says.

"No, he's no dick and no balls, they just fucking hang there uselessly between his legs, might as well cut those fuckers off for what use they are to him," Negan chuckles.

"Do you have to be so vulgar?"

"Yep, it's part of my charm," he smiles. "Anyway, how come you have to go? Can't douchebag Daryl do it in his fucking own?"

"We don't know what we're up against, he's going to need me to back him up."

"Which is why i don't fucking like it. That guy who came back spouting crap about talking walkers came back like that for a reason, because he's seen some bad shit go down. I don't fucking like this at all, i don't want you to go," Negan says as he shakes his head.

Rachel smiles, her heart warming at the thought that he still cares about her. "I have to go, more than that, i want to."

"Well if you fucking die out there, don't go expecting me to fucking cry about it, cos i won't," Negan frowns, turning away from her as he clears his throat.

"Well aren't you sweet," she says sarcastically.

"What the fuck ever, but don't go saying i didn't fucking warn you."

Rachel gets up off the floor. "Well thanks for the vote of confidence," she says before grabbing the rest of the whiskey. "Top up before i go?"

He nods, holding his cup through the bars.

"I'll see you tomorrow.. hopefully," she says, heading towards the stairs.

"Rachel," Negan says.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful, i.." he drops his head, sighing deeply.

"You what?"

"You know, i'd kinda fucking miss you, what with you bringing me food and shit," he smiles. "So be fucking careful out there, otherwise i'm gonna be fucking pissed."

Rachel smiles. "Okay, i'll be careful. I love you, Negan," she says before she heads up the steps.

Negan drops his head, holding onto the bars as he clenches his jaw.


	4. Chapter 4

Daryl walks straight into Rachel's house, only knocking as he opens the door.

"Rachel, you in?"

She comes out of the kitchen carrying a cup of coffee. "You're back."

"Yeah, just got back five minutes ago. Rick told me bout what happened with David. Ya ready ta go out?"

"Yeah, just let me finish this," she says as she downs the rest of her coffee.

"Ya remember where the tracks are?" He asks.

"Yes, they weren't that far, shouldn't take us long."

Daryl nods. "We can go on my bike, don't wanna take the horses in case things get ugly."

"Alright. Well i'll get my stuff together and meet you out front in five," she nods.

~

"Lucky it didn't rain," Daryl says. "Ya right though, somethin went down here, some kinda scuffle at the least," Daryl points towards the tracks. "Those are walker tracks, can tell by the way they move."

"So why are there no bodies?" Rachel asks.

Daryl shakes his head. "Someone must've moved em."

"Why?"

"Maybe they knew them? It's a stretch i know, but it's the only thing that makes sense. Must've moved em and buried em."

"That _is_ a stretch, Daryl. But i guess you're right."

"See here," Daryl points. "These prints are deeper, means they were carryin somethin heavy, most likely walkers."

"You think you can find out where they are?"

"Don't know, a lot went down here, that's why there's still tracks. But if you couldn't follow em, i doubt i can either. Let's walk a while, see what we can find."

They walk a while, Daryl following the tracks. "That's weird."

"What's weird?"

"These tracks, almost looks like they were walking with the dead."

"You think they were using a camouflage?"

Daryl nods. "Yeah, only thing that makes sense. Ain't much more tracks ta follow though."

"So should we head back?"

"Let's keep goin a little while," he says. "If we don't find anythin after a half hour, we'll head back."

They keep walking, Rachel wiping at her brow as beads of sweat roll down her face. She grabs a bottle of water from her rucksack, drinking it greedily.

"Gimme some a that," Daryl holds out his hand.

"It wouldn't kill you to say please," Rachel smiles as she hands it to him.

"We're family, don't have ta be nice ta one another. Save politeness for strangers," he smiles, taking a drink and handing it back over.

"Except that you're not polite to strangers either."

"I was ta you when we first met," he says.

"You held your crossbow to my head."

"An i didn't pull the trigger, that's polite," Daryl smiles.

Rachel laughs. "I guess you're not wrong. Not killing someone at first sight is today's version of being polite."

"Damn right, there's a lotta assholes out here, and worse. Like the Wolves," he says.

"Yeah, well let's hope we got all of them," Rachel stops a moment. "You don't think this is them, do you?"

Daryl shrugs. "Could be. Or it could be someone new. Some new asshole that we have ta deal with. Speaking of assholes-"

"Don't," she says.

"Ya don't even know what i was gonna say."

"I do, and i don't want to hear it anymore. I'm tired of hearing it. I've made my choice with Negan, and if you don't like it then that's fine."

"It ain't fine though, cos you're family," Daryl says. "An when family does somethin stupid, it's our place ta step in."

"I'm not hurting anyone, Daryl. Maybe i'm hurting people's feelings, but who doesn't have hurt feelings these days?"

"But ya know what he did."

Rachel stops, staring at him with a frown. "Daryl, we've had this conversation a million times. Negan did some bad stuff, i know that. But Rick wasn't innocent. Don't forget, i was watching from the other side when Rick killed our people, and a lot of them were decent people."

Daryl grunts. "Ain't gonna stand here an listen ta ya talk about good people when ya still vist that asshole every chance ya get, obviously yain't the best judge of character."

"You know what, Daryl. I don't really give a shit what you think. So if we can just get on with doing what we came out here for, that'd be great."

"Why? Ya don't-" Daryl spins round at the sound of footsteps ahead of them, aiming his crossbow. Rachel takes her bow from her shoulders, pulling an arrow from her quiver.

The first of the dead stumble out towards them, two of them getting an arrow straight to the head. Rachel and Daryl stand side by side, each preparing their bows once again.

One of the the walkers jumps forward, knocking Rachel off her feet. She grapples with it, trying to get the knife from her belt.

Daryl leans over but a walker grabs at him, it's teeth snapping close to his arm.

Rachel pushes at it's chest, struggling to reach for her knife. Her eyes widen as the walker grunts. _What the fuck?_

"Shh."

Rachel stares at the dead thing on top of her, shaking her head. "What the fuck are you?"

"We whisper, and the dead don't mind," the dead thing says.

Rachel feels the weight of it being pulled off her. She remains on the ground as Daryl puts an end to it.

"You alright?" Daryl asks.

Rachel shakes her head, still lying on the ground trying to process what just happened.

"Rachel?" Daryl looks down at her with a frown. "What the hell's wrong with ya? Ya almost let it have ya."

She sits up, her expression mirroring David's when she'd found him. Daryl holds out a hand, pulling her up off the floor. She sways a little on her feet. "It.. it spoke."

"What?"

"It spoke," she says, pointing at the walker.

"The hell ya talkin bout? It can't talk, it's dead."

"That doesn't change the fact that it just fucking spoke," she says.

"Rachel, it's dead. You're just hearin things."

Rachel steps towards the walker, leaning over it. "It fucking spoke, Daryl. I know it did."

"What'd it say? Nice ta eat ya?" He smiles

Rachel looks up at Daryl with a frown. "That's not funny." She looks back down at the dead thing, squinting her eyes. She tilts it's head to the side, jumping back a little. "What the bloody hell is that?" She shouts.

Daryl steps forward, kneeling down beside her. He takes his hand, bringing his fingers up to it's neck. A piece of string hangs from the back of it's neck. Daryl stares at Rachel. "Help me turn it over."

Daryl and Rachel roll the walker onto it's stomach, their eyes wide as they see what looks like laces running over the back of it's head.

"What the hell is that?" Daryl frowns.

Rachel pulls on the strings, the scalp of the dead thing loosening and making her stomach roll. Daryl grabs the back of it's scalp, and it pulls right off like a mask, wafts of blonde hair underneath. They look at one another in confusion before they roll it onto it's back.

"Jesus Christ! It's.. human. Or it was," Rachel says.

Daryl stares at it in disbelief. He runs his hand underneath it's back, finding another set of laces. "The entire thing is just a damn walker suit."

"Just?" She stares at Daryl. "This is the weirdest shit i've ever seen, and i see the dead walking round on a regular basis."

"This must've bin what David was talkin bout. What did it say ta ya?"

"It.. it shushed me, and then it said.. we whisper, and the dead don't mind."

Daryl holds the walker mask in his hands. "This has bin treated on the inside, same way you'd treat animal skin if ya were gon wear it," he says.

"Can you not roll that in your hand like that, it's creepy."

Daryl flails it around. "Why? Ain't nothin but skin, dead skin, but skin all the same. Ya deal with this whenever ya cut an animal up."

"Daryl, that's someone's face."

He nods. "Alright, sorry. We need ta take this back with us, show Rick."

"You think?" She says sarcastically.

~

Rick holds the walker mask in his hand, staring at it with a frown.

"So this is what David was talking about?" He says.

"Yes, and i can't blame him for freaking out like he did, i was the same. I would have never thought in a million years that it was something like this. If Daryl hadn't been there.. well, i probably wouldn't be here. It caught me off guard," Rachel says.

"I'll bet," Rick says.

"So what are we gonna do?" Daryl asks.

Rick rubs his temples. "I don't know, we've got two people still missing, though they're probably dead. We need to find out who these people are, figure out if they're a threat."

"Course they are, what kinda person goes round wearin a walker suit?" Daryl says.

"Rick's right, Daryl. We don't know for sure that they're a threat. They might be weird, but that doesn't make them a threat. The two people missing from the Kingdom could've just thought these people were walkers, so they retaliated. We don't want to go finding these people and starting something."

"You _would_ say that," Daryl sneers.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rachel frowns.

"Your little jail bird for one, and the rest of his men."

"Daryl," Rick starts.

"Yeah, and look where attacking the Saviors got you," she says.

"Woulda been better if we'd killed em all," Daryl says.

"What, does that include me?" Rachel says.

"Daryl!" Rick shouts. "That's enough. Rachel's right."

Daryl stares at Rick. "What?"

"We can't just go running round executing people. We don't even know that these people have killed anyone, or if there's even any more out there. We'll look for them, but if we come across them, we talk, because that's what civilised people do. We clear on that?"

Daryl nods his head, his jaw clenched. "Yeah, but if it all goes wrong, don't say i didn't warn ya," he says before walking off.

"Things alright between you two?" Rick asks.

Rachel shrugs. "Only when we're not around each other. We can't seem to spend more than five minutes together without arguing."

"You know it's only because he cares."

"He's got a funny way of showing it," she says as she runs a hand through her hair. "I get it. He hates Negan, everyone does, and i can't blame them. I just don't see things the way everyone else does, or rather i don't see _him_ the way everyone else does. Everyone sees what Negan did, but they don't see what _they_ did. With the exception of Gabe."

"Wait a minute, Gabe said what?"

"Gabe said he was there at the outpost attack, and that looking back, he understands what i'm saying. In spite of what you think, a lot of good people died at that outpost, and i was nearly one of them."

Rick shifts his feet uncomfortably. "If you're holding on to the hope that Negan can change, you're wrong. People like that never change. They want power, they get off on it."

"Most people are capable of change, Rick."

"He's not most people," Rick frowns.

~

"It's at fucking times like this that i really hate being in here," Negan says, his knuckles white as he holds onto the bars of his cell.

"I'm fine," Rachel says.

"But you nearly fucking weren't. I can't believe i'm fucking saying this, but i agree with Daryl. Someone needs to take these fucking weirdos out, i mean, who the fuck walks around in fucking meat suits like that? It's fucking creepy as shit."

"Well we can't do that. We don't even know who they are, or their numbers."

"Right, that's it, i don't want you going out there," he says.

"I got caught off guard last time, it won't happen again."

"Did you not just hear me? Am i talking to my fucking self?"

"You're not the boss of me, Negan."

Negan bites on his lip. "If these bars weren't in the way i'd spank that ass red raw, show you exactly who's boss."

"Are you flirting with me?" She smiles.

"I flirt with fucking everyone," he chuckles.

"A simple yes would've been nice."

"Promise me you'll stay away from these creepy ass meat suit fuckers, and i'll be nice," he says, licking his lips.

"You know i can't do that. If Rick needs my help, then i'm not going to say no."

"Come here," he beckons with his finger.

Rachel steps closer to his cell door. Negan's hands shoot through the bars. He wraps his arms round her waist and pulls her as close as he can. Rachel rests her head against the bars with a smile, her arms around him as he runs a hand through her hair.

"What's this for?" She smiles.

"You look like you need it," he says.

"I do."

"You know Daryl only gives you shit cos he cares about you," Negan says.

"Rick said that."

"Fuck, what's going on with me agreeing with the fucking piss patrol?" He chuckles, running a hand over her back. He steps back, clearing his throat. "So what's the fucking plan?"

"What plan?"

"Rick the fucking prick's plan. What's he gonna do about these fucking weirdos?"

Rachel shrugs her shoulders. "There's not much we can do, just have to keep an eye out."

Negan frowns. "Just promise we one thing."

"What's that?"

"You won't go night hunting till you find these assholes."

"Okay, i can promise you that. It's not like i'm too keen on bumping into them again either," she says.


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel stands in Negan's cell, her gun aimed at his chest. She looked forward to this every month, and purposely made sure she was never out on a hunt around this time. Rachel follows a bead of water rolling lazily down his neck, creeping down his chest and settling over his nipple. She lifts her gaze to his face, and he's smirking, his hazel eyes burning into hers. Rachel clears her throat and tries to focus.

Negan was offered a shave and shower once a month, and a haircut every three months, depending on good behaviour. Rick had only agreed to this in the last year. Negan's first year in prison, his hair had been down to his shoulders, and his beard had been remarkable. Rachel hadn't minded it, Negan still having that glint in his eyes behind all that hair. But she couldn't deny that she'd been relieved when Rick had agreed to allow Negan a shave and a haircut.

Of course, Negan being Negan, he liked to make everyone as uncomfortable as possible, insisting on showering right beforehand so he could sit there in his towel and smirk at Janet as she cut his hair.

Rick stares at Negan with a frown.

"The fuck you looking at, Rick? You fucking sweet on me or something?" Negan smiles.

"You're looking a little bigger than normal, considering the rations we've been giving you," Rick frowns.

Negan places a hand against his chest. "Did you just fucking fat shame me?" He says in mock offense.

Rachel tries to stifle a giggle, but it comes out regardless. Rick turns to her, raising an eyebrow. "Sorry," she says, turning back to Negan once again.

"In case you haven't noticed, Rick. I'm in a fucking cell twenty-four hours a goddamn day. Not like i get much fucking exercise. But thanks for giving me a fucking complex, i hope you don't talk to your kids like that."

"Shut the hell up," Rick says. "Are you nearly done?" He asks Janet, fed up of Negan's bullshit.

She nods as she combs back his hair. "Yeah, we're done."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Negan smiles. "You've made me look beautiful, as always."

Janet rolls her eyes, gathering her things together and double checking that her scissors are in her bag.

They leave Negan's cell, Rachel staring at him longingly.

"Rachel," Rick gestures with his head.

"Give her a break, Rick. She's just appreciating the view," Negan chuckles.

Rachel looks down at the ground, her face going red.

"Lock him up," Rick sneers.

Janet locks the cell door, following Rick and the others.

Negan takes off his towel, throwing it on the floor before he grabs his clothes off the bed. He pulls them on, grimacing at the grey sweatpants. _Think they'd at least give me some decent fucking clothes,_ Negan frowns.

He heads over to his cell door, ready to shout up for some water. As he grabs the bars, the door clicks open. "Hold the fucking phone," Negan frowns, staring at the open door.

~

Rachel sits on her porch drinking coffee. She glances over at Daryl, sitting on his own porch skinning squirrel, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Rachel walks across the street, standing at the bottom of his steps.

"Need some help?"

Daryl looks down at her, squinting as smoke blows in his eyes. "Nah, i'm good."

"It'll get done twice as quick if you let me help."

"Yeah, but it'll only get done half as good."

"Really?" She raises an eyebrow. "You're going to be like that?"

"Like what?"

Rachel shakes her head, making her way up the steps. She grabs a couple of squirrels and sits down beside him.

"I said i don't need no help," he frowns, flicking away his cigarette.

"Yeah, and i'm choosing to ignore you."

"Fine," he shrugs, pulling back the squirrel's skin. Daryl takes his knife and cuts out it's innards. He throws them to his left, the squirrel guts splatting against Rachel's shoulder.

She turns to him with a frown. "Bloody hell, Daryl!" She yells, wiping at her shoulder. The corner of his mouth curls upwards as he suppresses a smile. "You think that's funny?"

Daryl shrugs. "Just an accident, ain't like i meant ta get ya."

She narrows her eyes, grabbing the squirrel guts off the porch steps and throwing them in his hair. Daryl drops his squirrel, leaning forward as he shakes the crap out of his hair. Rachel laughs hard, holding onto her stomach as tears roll down her cheeks. Daryl turns to her, his face stern, but then it softens as he smiles.

"Can we just get on with it," he says.

"Sure," she smiles.

~

Rick walks down the steps towards Negan's cell with a tray of food. The tray falls to the ground, mashed potatoes splattering over his boots as he stands there wide eyed.

"Hey, prick," Negan smiles as he lays on his cot, the back of his head resting against his hands. He sits up, swinging his feet onto the floor. "You mind closing that fucking thing, it's letting a fucking draught in, and my feet are cold."

Rick takes his gun from his hip, aiming it at Negan.

"Really? You're gonna be like that?" Negan frowns.

"How the hell did this happen? Was this Rachel?"

"Hey, don't fucking blame her. Janet mustn't have locked the fucking thing properly. You really think Rachel would unlock my cell and just leave me to my own fucking devices? It's disappointing that you think so fucking little of her."

Rick shifts uncomfortably on his feet.

"What is it, Prick? Your leg playing up?" Negan chuckles. "You should use your cane more, Michonne won't think any less of you."

"Shut the hell up!" Rick sneers. Negan leans forward, resting his elbows against his thighs. "Don't move!"

Negan chuckles. "Really, prick? You're fucking kidding me, right? Have you any idea how bad i could've fucked you up just now? I could have you bent over those stairs right now, driving my fucking fist right up into your asshole. You'd be my fucking Rick puppet. I could punch your balloon knot until it looks like turkey's ass on thanksgiving. Why do you think i haven't done that, Prick? You think i don't like turkey's ass on thanksgiving? I fucking love it. This is all about building trust, prick."

"Trust?" Rick sneers.

"Yeah, fucking trust. Someone didn't lock my fucking cell. I could've walked the fuck out, but i didn't. Trust," Negan smiles.

"You expect me to trust you?" Rick frowns.

"No, i expect you to be suspicious as fuck and run around this place checking for booby traps and shit. How long have i been fucking free? Did i knock a hole in the wall around this place? Did i mess with the fucking wires in your basement so your house will burn down while you fucking sleep in it? Did i bring out my perfectly normal-sized dick and fuck orgasms into your girl Michonne until she ordered a t-shirt from the Negan's cock fan club?!"

"Keep it up, asshole," Rick spits, his finger on the trigger.

"Oh quit being so fucking dramatic. You do know i could be over there quicker than you can pull that fucking trigger, and i'd fuck your other leg up before you managed to take me down. I won't do that though, and i didn't do all the other shit i just mentioned. Do i expect you to trust me? Fuck no! But once you get your fucking head around the fact that i didn't do a fucking thing while i had the chance, i expect you to recognise that, so we can build some fucking trust between us."

"You really think i'd ever trust you? That will _never_ happen, _ever_."

Negan stares at Rick. "Why the hell not?"

"Are you joking?"

"What? What did i do that was so bad? I kept over a hundred fucking people alive, despite the end of the world. You trying to tell me that you haven't done any bad shit? That you haven't done stuff that you regret to keep your people alive?"

"We're done here," Rick sneers as he lowers his gun. He closes Negan's cell, taking the key from his pocket.

"Fine, lock me up. You keep me here for as long as you fucking want. I'm the toughest motherfucker you're ever going to meet, i can take it. But don't kid yourself into thinking you keep me here as a symbol of your mercy. We _both_ know that's not true. I'm here because after everything you've done, everything you've lived through, i'm the only thing you can use to convince yourself that you're the good guy, that you're civilised. Remember that when you're screaming at that poor woman who left my cell unlocked."

~

Rick races out of Janet's house, his face red. He'd warned her about what would happen if she made the same mistake again, and he'd felt like a right shit as she'd nodded at him, tears falling down her cheeks as she'd said how sorry she was. It had to be done though. Mistakes like that could cost lives, could cost them Alexandria.

He heads back home, his leg stiffer than usual. Negan was right, he probably should use his cane more, but fuck if he was going to give Negan the satisfaction of being right.

Rick slows as he nears Daryl's house, watching them with a smile as they cut up God knows what together. He'd really wished they'd get together. That they'd fall in love and she'd forget all about Negan. But Rick had begun to accept it was never going to happen between them two. That they were more like brother and sister, which was probably why they fought so much.

Still, as he watches them together, poking one another with their blood stained fingers, he can't help but smile.

"Did someone die?" Rick smiles, gesturing at the blood on their clothes.

"No, but someone's going to if they keep mocking my ability to cut up a squirrel," Rachel says.

"Ain't my fault ya don't know one end from the other," Daryl teases.

"Shut up," Rachel says, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, my bucket's got more meat than yours, so what does that tell you?"

"That ya keep stealin the bigger ones," Daryl laughs, digging her playfully in the ribs.

"Whatever."

~

Rachel grabs her bow and places it over her shoulder. She'd offered to take Rosita's nightshift on the wall, what with her being ill. Rachel knew she'd struggle to sleep, what with the image of Negan in a towel stuck in her head, so she figured a long shift on the wall should tire her out.

She hears the front door open, followed by Rick asking if she's home.

"Yeah, just getting my knife," Rachel says.

Rick steps into the hall, leaning against the kitchen archway. "You going out?"

Rachel shakes her head. "Rosita isn't well, i offered to cover her shift."

"Nothing serious i hope?" Rick asks.

"I don't think so. Between you and me, i think it's morning sickness, she's been sickly for the last week."

"She's pregnant?" Rick says.

"Shh, don't go round saying stuff like that, i'm just guessing. Bit weird though,"  
Rachel says.

"What's weird?"

"I thought her and Eugene were having problems."

"What? With getting pregnant?" Rick asks.

"No, with each other. I thought she was going off him."

"Well, she is a bit out of his league," Rick smiles.

Rachel stares at him with a smile. "Rick Grimes, did you really just say that?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, let's just forget that shall we?"

"So were you just dropping in to say hello, or did you want something?" Rachel asks.

"I.." Rick rubs his temples. "I wanted to talk to you about Negan."

Rachel shifts her feet. "Look, if it's about what you said earlier, then yes, i might have snuck him some food from time to time, but i-"

"No, it's not that, but thanks for confirming what i already knew."

"Yeah, sorry about that," she says awkwardly.

"Negan's cell was unlocked."

Rachel stares at him in confusion. "What? How?" Her eyes widen. "You don't think it was me do you?"

Rick shakes his head. "No, it was Janet, she didn't lock it properly. But, i can't lie, i did automatically blame you, and i'm sorry."

"Oh, well i guess i can't exactly get mad at you for thinking that. So what happened? Did Negan even know it wasn't locked properly?"

"Well that's the thing. When i came down those stairs, it was wide open, and Negan was just lying on his bed without a care in the world."

"What's your point, Rick?"

"Doesn't that strike you as odd? His cell was open for over an hour, and he just sat there like it was nothing," Rick says.

"Well what did he say?"

"He gave a big speech about trust, with some colourful language thrown in."

"Well maybe that's what he was trying to do, to prove that he's trustworthy," Rachel says.

"Come on, Rachel. You know i'm never going to trust him, and he knows it too."

"I don't understand what you're asking me, Rick?"

"Why? Why would he just sit there? That was his chance to leave, so why didn't he?"

"Sounds to me like you can't get your head around the fact that he didn't do what you expected him to do. You're trying to think of a reason other than he might actually have changed. That his time there might actually have made a difference to him. You used to be a cop, Rick. Surely you know all about rehabilitation."

"That was before," Rick points out.

"And yet you talk about being civilised, like you want it to be how it was before. I've got to go," she says, pushing her knife into her belt. "I can't tell you anything, Rick. Because it's not what you want to hear. I'll seeya later."

~

Rachel stands on the platform with Gabe, the sun long since gone and the air cool.

"You know, i've visited Negan a few times myself," he says.

"Really?"

Gabe nods. "Yes, we've talked at length about certain things, it's quite strange to see someone like him opening up."

Rachel stares at Gabe. "What did you talk about?"

"You know i can't tell you that," Gabe smiles. "But once we got past the profanity, it was quite enlightening."

"Do you think he can change?" She asks.

"Yes, i do. But i don't believe Rick will ever take the risk. If he let his guard down, it could cost him his people. You must understand that?"

"I do. Doesn't stop me from getting my hopes up though. I mean, Negan could have left. He could have just slipped right out of here."

"But he didn't, and like Rick, you're wondering why," Gabe says.

"Yeah, i am."

"Why would a man who's been locked in a cell for years let the opportunity to be free pass him by? My guess is he thinks he deserves to be there. That it's penance. Also, that he doesn't want to leave you behind."

Rachel shakes her head. "I don't think so, he cares about me, but not enough to stay locked in a cell."

"I think you underestimate how he feels, or how he knows you'd feel if he just left. Maybe he doesn't feel he deserves to leave?" Gabe glances at the scars on her right cheek. "Maybe he still feels guilt for what he did?"

"Is that your subtle way of telling me what you've been talking about with him?"

Gabe laughs. "No, not intentionally anyway. There could be many reasons why he didn't leave, i guess you have to pick whichever one feels right."


	6. Chapter 6

"Put some fucking elbow grease into it, Rick," Negan smiles as he holds onto the bars. "I want that shit bucket shiny enough so i can see my own ass in it."

"Shut the hell up!" Rick grimaces as he pours disinfectant into a bucket.

"Look like you're struggling there, your leg playing up?"

Rick frowns as he scrubs at Negan's shit bucket. He normally left this task to Janet, but he'd been reluctant to ask her after the last time, and he'd been on guard duty when Negan's bucket had suspiciously needed emptying.

"So where's Rachel?" Negan asks.

"Out."

Negan rolls his eyes. "Well i fucking gathered that, since i haven't fucking seen her for almost two days."

Rick looks up at him with a sneer. "You worried she's finally seen the light?"

"No. I'm worried that you've got her out there whilst those meat suit fuckers are running riot. So where the fuck is she?" Negan frowns.

Rick shakes his head. "She's with Daryl."

"Oh," Negan says, his face falling a little.

Rick looks up at him with a smile. "That hurt?"

"No, as long as he's looking out for her. If anything happens to her on his watch, don't think i won't break my ass outta here, cos i will, and i'll go straight for that fucking red neck douchebag."

"Daryl's one of the best men i have. You know that."

Negan snorts. "Yeah, well he'd better make sure he acts the fucking part."

Rick stands up, Negan's bucket in his hand. "She's not yours to protect, Negan."

Negan clenches his jaw. "You just make sure nothing fucking happens to her."

"Ass on the bed and face the wall," Rick says. Negan walks over to his bed, sitting down and turning to face the wall. Rick unlocks his cell, taking out his gun before he grabs Negan's bucket, placing it down on the cell floor. Rick steps back out of the cell, double checking the lock on the door.

"Can i get my lamp back?" Negan asks.

Rick shakes his head. "No, that's punishment for all the food Rachel snuck in."

"Come the fuck on, Rick. Don't be an asshole."

"That's not exactly the way to talk me round now, is it?" Rick smirks.

"The fuck do you want?" Negan stares at him, raising an eyebrow. "You not getting any at home? Is that it? Cos you're giving me your come fuck me eyes."

"Why do you have to be so vulgar?"

"Because it's who i am," Negan sighs.

"I told you, lights out early for two weeks."

"Come on, pri.. Rick. I got this stupid fucking book that i'm reading, helps me sleep." Rick rubs his temples. "I promise i won't call you prick for a week, how's that?" Negan smirks.

"Fine, but you step outta line even once, and i'll make it a month," Rick says before heading towards the stairs.

"Rick," Negan says. Rick turns, waiting for whatever taunt Negan has to throw at him. "Watch out for her. And watch out for whoever these creepy ass fuckers are. She shouldn't be out there alone till you know who or what they are."

"She's family. I wouldn't even think about letting her go out there alone with whoever's out there," he assures him.

"Good," Negan nods.

~

Rachel walks through the woods alone. One of the guards on the road to Hilltop had gone missing, so Rachel and Daryl had offered to help look for him. As they'd walked with Jesus and the two other men from Hilltop, she'd seen something in the woods, deciding to hang back and slip off the road.

After ten minutes of walking she hears bushes rustling to her right.

"The hell ya doin?" Daryl frowns as he steps out in front of her.

"Jesus, Daryl. You scared the crap out of me," she says, holding her hand against her chest.

"We're supposed ta stick together, what ya doin wonderin off like that?"

"I thought i saw something when we were on the road, thought i'd check it out," she says.

"Well don't. You try'na get ya'self killed? There's three men missin, you wanna be one of em?"

"Chill, Daryl. I can handle myself."

"Like ya handled that creepy walker guy?"

"That took me by surprise," she points out. "Anyway, what do you care?"

"What's that supposed ta mean?"

"Come on, Daryl. You can barely stand to be around me, i mean look at you, you can't even look me in the eye. I know you hate me because of Negan, so why don't you just say it?"

"Is that what you think?" He asks, his face falling.

"Well it's pretty bloody obvious."

Daryl shakes his head. "You're wrong, i don't hate ya. I can't look ya in the eye cos.." he looks at the scar on her cheek. "I gave up on ya, back at the Sanctuary. Told Rick ya weren't one of us anymore, that ya couldn't be on both sides. An then.. ya got that," he points at her cheek. "Savin my life. I don't hate ya, never have. I hate that ya still see that asshole, but i don't hate you. I hate ma'self for not stoppin that from happenin, you could've died."

"Well i didn't," Rachel shrugs.

"How can ya still love him after what he did?"

"Well it wasn't me he was trying to kill."

"An that makes it alright?"

"We can't keep having this same argument, Daryl. It doesn't get us anywhere. I'm not asking you to accept him, but you need to accept my decision, because it's not going to change."

Daryl shakes his head. "Nah, i'll never accept it. I care too much about ya to do that. Come on," he gestures with his head. "We should get back on the road."

They head back to the road, neither of them aware that they're being watched.

~

"Hey, you alright?" Jesus asks.

"Fine, thought i saw something," Rachel says.

"You find anything?"

"No, loud mouth here probably scared them off," Rachel nods towards Daryl.

"Guys, we got company," one of Hilltop's men says as he nods towards a group of walkers.

Rachel takes her bow from her shoulders, drawing it as they stumble closer. She releases an arrow, her eyes widening as the walker dodges it. "Shit! It's them!"

"You sure?" One of the Hilltop's men asks.

"Since when do walkers dodge arrows, or carry knives?" Daryl frowns as he aims his crossbow.

Rachel releases another arrow, this time getting what she assumes is an actual walker. As it stumbles to get back up seemingly unharmed, she aims once again, getting it in the head.

Daryl shoots his crossbow, sending an arrow straight through the shoulder of what is definitely not a walker, the meat suit guy crying out and clawing at his wound.

The dead lunge towards them, the five of them struggling to figure if they're dead or living.

Rachel tackles what she's sure is actually a walker as it snaps it's jaws, snarling at the scent of fresh meat. She holds it at arms length, drawing her knife and sticking it in the side of it's temple. That's when the sun goes away. Rachel looks up, her eyes wide. "Holy shit!" She barely mouths, falling down on her ass as she stumbles backwards. Rachel stares at the giant half walker half man currently blocking the sun. She struggles to swallow, her throat suddenly dry. He leans down in front of her, brandishing a knife.

She snaps out of it, remembering that she doesn't want to die. Quickly drawing her knife, she slashes at his hand, the huge man-walker dropping his blade to the ground as he grabs at his hand. Rachel gets up off her feet as he steps back, his eyes piercing at her through his walker mask as he bares his teeth.

"Greg!"

Rachel turns at the sound of a girl's voice, watching as Daryl sticks his knife through the skull of what she's guessing is a man. The other walker suit guys run, the only one left behind kneeling down in front of what Rachel assumes was Greg. Rachel turns, but the giant walker guy has scarpered with the others. She makes her way over to the others as Jesus raises his knife over the remaining walker suit person.

"Please don't kill me."

Jesus lowers his knife with a frown.

"The hell ya doin? Take it out," Daryl says as he aims his crossbow.

"No," Rachel says, placing a hand on Daryl's arm. "She sounds like a kid."

"So?" Daryl shrugs.

Rachel stares at him. "We're not debating about this. Besides, we might be able to find out more about their group."

"She's right," Jesus nods.

Rachel kneels down in front of the girl. "What's your name?"

The little girl, and she's sure it's a little girl, looks at her through the walker mask. "We don't have names."

"Why?" Rachel asks.

"The world is different now, it belongs to the dead. We walk with the dead, protect them, and they protect us. We're the Whisperers."

Rachel stares at her a little uncomfortably before she rises to her feet. "We should take her back to Hilltop. Do you have somewhere safe you can keep her?"

"Yeah," Jesus nods.

~

Rachel had only been to Hilltop once, the last time resulting in a very awkward visit in which Maggie had completely blanked her. She couldn't blame her, Rachel had actually been surprised that Maggie hadn't clawed her eyes out to be fair. After that she had steered clear of the place, knowing full well she wasn't welcome.

The place looks pretty much the same as last time, except for a windmill, much like the one at Alexandria.

Maggie walks down the steps of the manor house, making her way towards them.

"What is this?" Maggie frowns, staring at the Whisperer they had brought.

"They attacked us out on the road. We captured this one, thought it best to bring her back here, see what we can find out about their group," Jesus says.

Maggie nods, briefly glancing at Rachel. "Take her to the cells, and take that ridiculous suit off her."

They walk off, heading towards the cells with Rachel right behind them.

"Not you," Maggie says. They all turn in unison. She glances briefly at Rachel once again. "You can wait out here," Maggie says before walking off with the others.

Rachel nods, not saying a word. She knew she shouldn't have come. Daryl was perfectly capable of bringing the Whisperer on his own, so why they'd insisted on her being there she didn't understand.

"Rachel!"

"Carl," she says with a smile, holding out her arm as he hugs her briefly. "Christ you're shooting up. You're taller than your dad."

"I know," he smiles.

"So how's it going here?"

"Its great. I'm getting really good at making weapons, you wanna see?"

"I'd love to," Rachel smiles, following as he leads the way.

Carl shows her an array of spears he'd made, a proud look on his face.

"So who was that they just brought in?" Carl asks.

"You heard about the men that went missing?"

"Yeah," he nods. "People were saying crazy stuff about the dead talking."

"Well they weren't far off. It was people dressed in walker suits."

"For real?" Carl asks, his eyes wide.

"Yeah. We just brought back one of them, a young girl. Call themselves the Whisperers, apparently."

"Do we know how many of them there are?"

Rachel shakes her head. "That's what we're hoping to find out."

"They're not gonna hurt her are they? I mean, you said she's a young girl, right?" Carl frowns.

"No, they won't hurt her, that's not what we do."

~

It was close to dark before Daryl and Rachel got back to Alexandria. The pair of them relayed their stories to Rick, who seemed a little uncomfortable at the fact that they'd captured one of the Whisperers.

"Maggie said she'll radio through soon as she learns anythin of use," Daryl says.

"I don't like this," Rick says.

"There wasn't much else we could do," Rachel says. "She was just a kid, it's not her fault she's lumped with those weirdos."

"I know that, i wasn't suggesting we kill her," Rick frowns.

"Daryl did," Rachel says.

Rick raises an eyebrow as he turns to Daryl. "Really?"

Daryl plays with the strap of his crossbow. "I weren't thinkin straight. It's hard ta see these things as people."

"Daryl Dixon admitting he was wrong?" Rachel says sarcastically.

"Shut up. Wrong or not, we gotta find out all we can. This could be the start of somethin," Daryl points out.

"That's what i don't like about it," Rick rubs at his temple. "We're thriving. All the communities working together the way we are. I don't want everything we've worked so hard for to be gone in the blink of an eye."

"It won't, we'll be careful," Rachel says.

~

"So you actually fucking saw them?" Negan frowns as he sits on the cell floor.

"Yeah, there were about four or five of them. It was hard to tell, what with them walking with the dead."

"That's creepy as shit," he says.

"I'll tell you what was creepy. While the others were dealing with them, this huge fucker came out of nowhere, scared the shit out of me."

"What huge fucker?" Negan raises an eyebrow.

"One of the Whisperers. And i'm not exaggerating, Negan. He blocked out the sun."

"Can't have been bigger than me," he smirks.

"I swear, he was at least a foot taller than you, and he was built like a bloody horse. He didn't have a suit like the rest of them, just a mask, though it's no wonder, i doubt they could find a walker big enough."

"Everyone's bigger to you though," he teases.

"Ha ha."

Negan's face softens. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Rachel shakes her head. "No, i managed to slash his hand with my knife, but if the others hadn't been there and he hadn't run off, there wouldn't have been a thing i could do to stop him. He looked like he could snap me in two without breaking a sweat."

Negan stares at her and he doesn't like what he sees. Rachel was one of the biggest badasses he'd ever met, so to see genuine fear in her eyes makes him uneasy.

"Didn't i tell you not to go out there?"

"I wasn't alone," she says. "Can we not get into that, i could really do with one of your shitty jokes right now, even if it's vulgar. You think you can manage that?"

Negan chuckles. "Sure," he smiles, but he isn't sure at all. He's never wanted out of his cell this much since he got here.


	7. Chapter 7

"I see what you're doing there," Negan smirks as he moves his piece.

"What?"

"Come the fuck on, Rachel. I know how to read women, and i know you like the back of my hand," he smiles.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel smiles innocently.

"Really? So you've not purposely hiked your skirt up a little? Or you're not purposely leaning down more than you need to each time you move your piece?"

Rachel stares at him, pulling her skirt down a little. "I was not, it's just you and your dirty mind."

"Sure it is," Negan smirks.

"If you're that bothered then why are you looking?"

"Because i'm a fucking guy, and it'd be rude not to," Negan smiles. "I mean look at you, sitting there looking all hot," he bites on his lip, shaking his head as he turns away from her. "But it's not fucking happening, sweetheart. Sadly, i can't be tempted."

"Really?" She asks, raising her eyebrow.

"Well no, not fucking really, but you should respect my wishes and stop flashing your tits at me, i meant what i said."

"I know, and i am respecting your wishes. Anyway, it's your move," she says.

"What?" Negan stares at her in confusion.

"The game," she nods.

"Oh," he smiles. "I thought you were talking about-"

"I know what you thought i was talking about, like i said, you have a dirty mind."

"Any word from Hilltop?" Negan asks.

"Yeah, they let Lydia go."

"Lydia?"

"That Whisperer girl's name," Rachel says as she moves her piece.

"Why the fuck did they do that?"

"Their leader showed up, and she had the Hilltop's missing guy with them. Said the others that went missing went down during the fight, must've turned."

"And Maggie just handed her over?" Negan frowns.

"It was an even trade, why wouldn't she?"

Negan shrugs his shoulders. "We don't really now much about them."

Rachel looks up at him with a smile. "We?"

"You know what i mean."

"Well it doesn't matter. They're gone now. Their leader said as long as we don't interfere with their business, they'll leave us alone."

"And what is their business?" Negan asks. Rachel shrugs. "See that, is what i don't wanna fucking see. You shrugging your damn shoulders like it doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter, or at least that's what Rick thinks."

"And do you agree with him?"

"Like i said, it doesn't matter. What Rick says goes."

Negan stares at her, his eyes wide. "Excuse fucking me! Where the hell was that kinda thinking when i was fucking leading you?"

"I was sleeping with you, i can't exactly whisper shit in Rick's ear to change his mind."

"Hold the fuck up," Negan waves his hand dramatically. "Are you trying to tell me that all that pillow talk we had was _you_ trying to whisper shit in my ear?"

"Maybe?" She teases.

"I feel so used," he says in mock offence.

"You love it though."

"I kinda do, a little," Negan chuckles.

Rachel turns at the sound of hurried footsteps coming down the stairs. Rick stands in the corridor, his eyes wide, sweat beading at his temples.

"You okay?" Rachel asks, thinking he appears anything but.

Rick shakes his head. "I need a word," he says. "In private."

"Okay," Rachel says as she gets to her feet.

Negan watches them both head up the stairs, his mind doing overtime at the look on Rick's face. "Well bye then," he frowns as he holds onto the bars.

~

Rick steps outside, rubbing at his temples.

"What is it?" Rachel frowns.

"It's Carl, he's gone missing."

"What? Since when?"

"No one's seen him at Hilltop since Lydia left," Rick says.

"You think he went after her?"

Rick nods. "That's my guess. How could he be so irresponsible?"

"Well he's a kid, that's what they do. And didn't Maggie say over the radio that he didn't want her to go? Maybe he's worried about her? I mean, these Whisperers aren't exactly all there are they?" She says as she taps her temple with a finger. "If i were Lydia, i wouldn't want to be roaming around with a bunch of freaks dressed as walkers. Maybe she said that to Carl?"

"I know, but we made a trade, he knows that. She wanted to go back."

"Well maybe he knows something we don't? Or, maybe he likes her? He _is_ at that age," Rachel smiles.

Rick tilts his head. "Well that's not my concern right now. My only concern is finding him. Alpha said they'd keep out of our business if we kept out of theirs. I don't think she's gonna be too quick to honour that agreement if she finds that Carl's following her."

Rachel places a hand on Rick's shoulder. "Alright, we'll go find him. Is Daryl around?"

Rick shakes his head. "He's out on a hunt, i'm not sure when he'll be back."

"Right, we'll go out now, just the two of us. We don't want to show up to wherever these Whisperers hang their skins with an army of people. Do we have a car? It'll be much quicker."

"Yeah, i'll go get it filled up."

~

They drive along the road in the direction of Hilltop, Rick behind the wheel.

"You brought your cane," Rachel says as she glances at it lying on the back seat.

"Yeah, looks like we're gonna be doing a bit of walking, i'm gonna need it."

"I could've come out here on my own."

"It's Carl, so that was never gonna happen. Even if Daryl were here, i would've come anyway."

"Do you purposely not use that thing to prove a point to Negan?" Rachel asks.

Rick clears his throat, his hands gripping the wheel. "No. I only use it when i need it."

"And you need it a lot more than you use it," she points out.

"Can we just focus on finding Carl?"

"Even Michonne says you should be using it more than you do," Rachel says.

"Believe me, i could think of better ways to get under Negan's skin than not using my cane."

"Such as?" Rachel asks.

"Well i'm guessing he doesn't know about our little thing back at the prison?" Rick smiles.

Rachel turns to him, her eyes wide. "You wouldn't."

"Oh believe me, i've come close. Especially when he's standing there in his cell taunting me whilst i clean out his shit bucket."

"That's between us, and it'll stay between us if you know what's good for you," she points a finger.

Rick stares at her, nodding his head with a smile. "I never said i would, but it's tempting."

"No, it's not," she frowns before looking out of the window. "Can we just focus on finding Carl?"

"Glad we're finally on the same page," Rick smiles.

"Let's stop the car here," she says. "No sense going to Hilltop. Whisperers will be miles from there by now."

Rick pulls into the side of the road. "Are you just saying that because you don't wanna see Maggie?"

"No, she doesn't want to see me, and i'm going to respect that," she says before stepping out of the car."

~

Daryl heads down the stairs leading to Negan's cell with a tray of food in his hands. He'd got back an hour ago to find out Rachel and Rick had gone looking for Carl, and though he'd wanted to join them, Gabriel had insisted Rick had wanted him to stay and take charge in his absence.

So here he was, taking food to that asshole because Janet still couldn't be trusted.

Daryl stands in front of Negan's cell, Negan sat on his cot reading a book.

"Daryl?" Negan smiles. "What the fuck have i done to earn the pleasure of your company?"

"Face the wall," Daryl says with a grunt. Negan rolls his eyes, placing his book down on the bed before he turns to face the wall. Daryl opens the cell door, placing the tray on the floor. He turns and locks the door, rattling it to ensure it's locked firmly.

"Is that it? You're not even gonna indulge me in a little polite conversation?" Negan frowns.

Daryl ignores him, turning towards the stairs.

"Hey, wait a minute. Where's Rachel?" Negan asks, stepping towards the bars.

Daryl stops at the foot of the stairs. "Just eat ya damn food."

"Is she alright? Rick came here earlier and he looked like someone had took a shit on his porch, what the hell's going on?"

"Ain't none a your business," Daryl grumbles.

"Excuse fucking me, but anything to do with Rachel is my damn business, so can you cut the fucking silently brooding routine and at least let me know she's alright?" Negan frowns.

Daryl clenches his jaw, his back to Negan. "She's fine," he says before heading up the stairs.

"Fucking asshole," Negan mutters under his breath.

~

"I can't see anything."

"And that's why you're not a tracker," Rachel smiles as they step through the woods. "There," she points ahead of her. "You can see those," she gestures towards a group of footprints.

"Well yeah, i can see those. But i see those every time i come out, they're walker prints," Rick says.

Rachel shakes her head. "Some of them are, but these at the back aren't. You can tell with how the print lies, the difference in the shift of weight. These at the front are typical of a walker, the way they drag their feet. But these, you can see where they've adjusted their weight to step over stuff, walkers rarely do that, what with them being dead and not giving a shit."

Rick nods with a smile. "You're good at this."

"Not as good as Daryl, he was born doing stuff like this, it's bred into him. Let's go this way, and watch your cane, there's loads of overgrowth," she says.

They spend a good twenty minutes walking through overgrown weeds, Rachel having to slow down considerably as Rick limps behind her.

Rick clenches his jaw, trying to hide the fact that his leg is throbbing. Most days it was barely a dull ache, yet still a very annoying constant reminder of how Negan had practically placed a leash around his neck, preventing him from going out too far alone.

Rachel crouches down, holding out a hand. She turns to Rick, placing a finger against her lips.

"What is it?" Rick whispers as he clings to his cane as if for dear life.

Rachel rolls her eyes, placing a finger against her mouth once again. "Listen," she barely whispers.

Rick struggles to crouch beside her, his leg shaking. He sees movement in the distance, squinting his eyes as he peeks through the trees into a clearing. "It's them."

Rachel nods. "It is, but keep your voice down, we don't want to-"

A branch snaps behind them, Rick's hand going to his gun.

"Don't."

Rick lifts his hand, his head still facing towards Rachel who now has her hands up. "We don't want any trouble. I'm looking for my son."

"No talking, stand up," comes the voice from behind them.

Rachel and Rick turn around, Rachel's eyes widening as she once again comes face to face with the giant Whisperer, a large machete in his hand.

"You," he sneers through his walker mask.

"Yeah, me," Rachel frowns as she looks up at him.

"I'm Rick, this is Rachel. Maggie spoke with your leader, Alpha."

"I said no talking," the Whisperer says.

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Enough of this shit, is Carl here or not?" He looks down at her, clearly not amused. "Can we talk to Alpha? Because clearly you're not the best at conversation."

"You are not amusing," he says.

"I wasn't trying to be."

"Rachel," Rick shakes his head.

"Beta," comes a woman's voice from behind them. "Lower your weapon."

The giant Whisperer, otherwise known as Beta, lowers his weapon and kneels. "Yes, Alpha."

Rachel frowns, the very sight taking her back to her time at the Sanctuary.

"You can turn," the woman says.

Rachel turns, her eyes widening slightly at a tall bald woman in front of her. "You're Alpha?"

"Yes, i am. We had an agreement with Hilltop, Rick. You're dishonouring it by being here," Alpha says.

"I'm just looking for my son, he went missing not long after Hilltop handed back your daughter."

"Carl?" Alpha says.

"Yes, is he here?" Rick asks.

Alpha nods. "Come with me."

Rachel and Rick follow Alpha, Rachel looking over her shoulder every few seconds at the looming shadow that is Beta.


	8. Chapter 8

Alpha leads them towards the clearing, towards the other Whisperers.

Rachel looks around at them. They look different, most of them now without their walker skins. It had been hard to see them as human with their walker suits, but as she glances around the open field, they almost seem normal. Some are gathered around a small fire, cooking what looks like a boar skewered to a branch, others sharpening their knives. What she does notice is there aren't any children, and her stomach rolls a little at the thought of why that might be. From what she's seen, they seem to lack sentiment, and an image of an animal leaving it's injured cub to die runs through her mind. Rachel shakes her head, pushing the thought away.

"Carl!" Rick shouts as he sees him talking with Lydia. Carl looks up at him a little sheepishly, lowering his head till his hat covers his face. Rick stumbles towards him, wrapping his arms around Carl. "Jesus, Carl, you scared the shit outta me."

"I know, i'm sorry," Carl says.

Rick stares at his son, holding him at arms length. "You're not wearing your glasses."

Carl shakes his head. "I don't need them anymore."

"They haven't hurt you, have they?"

"No, they're weird, but they haven't done anything to me," Carl assures him.

Rachel stands a few feet away, watching two Whisperers with a grimace as they cut the skin off a walker. "Jesus Christ," she whispers, her skin breaking out in gooseflesh.

"You are the Rick Grimes i've heard so much about? I'm not impressed," Alpha says as she stands in front of him.

"I'd like to take my son and leave, now," Rick says, clenching his jaw.

"And you will, after we've spoken, come walk with me, Rick."

"I'm not going anywhere without my son," Rick frowns.

Alpha holds out her hand to one of her men as he hands her a shotgun. She aims it at Rick.

Rachel takes the gun from her hip, but Rick holds out a hand. "It's fine, i've got this. You stay with Carl, don't let him outta your sight, you hear me?"

Rachel nods, placing her gun back in it's holster as she watches him walk off with Alpha. She looks around their makeshift camp, quite a few eyes on her, but none as menacing as Beta's cold stare. He watches her as he sharpens a large knife, his eyes not leaving her. "The bloody hell are you looking at?" She frowns.

"Rachel."

She looks over at Carl, stepping towards him.

"They don't like talking," Carl says.

"Look like they don't like soap either. Why did you come here, Carl?"

He looks at the girl beside him, his cheeks going red. "I couldn't leave her with these people. She's not safe with them."

Rachel tilts her head with a smile. "I see. But Alpha's her mother, she belongs with her."

Carl shakes his head. "They hurt her."

Rachel stares at him, stepping closer. "Who hurts her?"

"The men."

Rachel's eyes widen, her stomach suddenly rolling. She kneels down in front of Lydia. "They hurt you?"

Lydia nods. "That's just the way it is. Things aren't how they were."

"No, that's bullshit!" Rachel spits. She looks at Carl as she rises to her feet. "These men are.." the words won't leave her mouth.

Carl nods. "That's why i couldn't leave her, i.. i love her."

Rachel nods. "Okay. Well i'm not leaving here without the both of you, and that's a promise."

~

"How much longer?"

"Not long now, stop talking," Alpha says, pushing him along with the end of her shotgun.

"If you're planning on killing me, you could've saved us both a lot of time," Rick says.

"Do not doubt my willingness to do so if i must, but i have no desire to kill you. You need to stop talking."

"Then what the hell are we doing?" Rick frowns.

"Keep walking, we're almost there, and keep your voice down."

"I know, you've said," Rick says as he rolls his eyes. "Where are you taking me?"

"There," Alpha gestures towards a derelict building ahead.

They climb the four storeys to the top of the building, Rick wincing with every step. They step out onto the roof, Rick looking over his shoulder cautiously.

"Go on, to the edge, take a look," Alpha says, still aiming the shotgun at his back. "I want you to see that when i tell you that i will destroy everything you've built in this world, everyone you love, everything you know, that is not an empty threat."

Rick's eyes widen as he looks over the edge of the building, his stomach rolling and his heart pounding as he's met with an ocean of the dead below. He tries to count, make a rough estimate, but it's futile. If he had to guess, he'd say there were anything between five and ten thousand walkers, but it was hard to tell.

"Step back before you catch their attention. My people are among them, steering them, but they can only do so much."

Rick glances over his shoulder. "What do you want?"

"Right now, i want to get off this building before you make me shoot you and bring all those down on top of me."

They head back out of the building, Rick's heart still pounding at the thought of a sea of walkers being that close.

"Alright, we're clear of them now, what do you want?" He asks.

"From you? Nothing. You don't have a single thing to offer us. I've seen how you live. It's a joke. Life is blood and pain and sacrifice. You think you have accomplished so much, but i look around at what you've done, and i see children playing a game of make believe. You've built a shrine to a long dead world. We are animals who always pretended we are not. My people, the Whisperers, our lives are true. We live the full lives we were always meant to. You strive to return to a life as slaves to our petty desires, instead of recognising the gift this world has to offer, the gift of freedom."

"You're so full of shit. Do you even realise it?" Rick asks as he tilts his head. "Those people back there, who call you Alpha, those people are free?"

"They are."

"Free to wear human skin? Sleep out in the cold? This is all just bullshit to keep the sheep in line and answering to you. It's some overblown power trip."

"We are animals, Rick Grimes. And animals need a leader. There is the dominant and the submissive, the Alpha and the Beta. If the Alpha doesn't assert itself, there is chaos. I only fill the roll as needed, until another steps up and takes it from me."

"Jesus, you really do believe this bullshit."

"Keep walking."

~

Rachel watches in the distance as Rick steps out into the clearing with Alpha. She wastes no time in heading towards them, her face lit with fury.

"Rachel, Carl, we're leaving," Rick says.

"Not without Lydia," Carl says from beside Rachel.

"We have a chance to go, in peace. I'm not leaving without you. Lydia's place is with her mother and her people."

"I beg to differ," Rachel spits. "Carl's right, we're not leaving here without her."

"Rachel-" Rick starts.

"The men here are hurting her," Rachel stares coldly at Alpha. "How can you let them do that to your daughter?" She feels Beta's presence before she sees his shadow looming over her shoulder. "Fuck off, Bigfoot."

"She talks too much," Beta says as he glances at Alpha.

Alpha raises a hand. "It's fine, Beta."

Rick stares at Alpha. "Is this true? What Rachel just said?"

"Rape. Why do we pretend that act has so much power, does so much damage? It is a part of nature far older than that terrifying word," Alpha says.

"Yeah, i'm not so sure you'd be thinking that way if you didn't have this big bastard cock blocking everyone else," Rachel sneers.

Rick stares at Alpha in disbelief. "What the hell happened to you?"

Lydia steps towards her mother. "I was hurt and i didn't like it, but you told me it was necessary, that it was something that shouldn't bother me. But it does. And knowing Carl's people are out there, and they protect their people, in ways my own mother refuses to protect me," her voice become shaky as a tear rolls down her cheek. "I can't."

"This emotion is a weakness we can't afford. This isn't a world for victims. This is a world for the strong," Alpha turns from them, clenching her jaw as she bites back tears.

"Mom," Lydia steps towards Alpha, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Alpha turns swiftly, swinging at Lydia with the back of her hand. Rachel jumps forward before Carl pulls her back, Rick coming between Alpha and Lydia.

"That is enough!" Rick yells.

Alpha grabs Rick by the collar, his eyes widening as he sees tears rolling down her cheeks. "I can't offer my daughter the life she needs. Not here, not safely. But you can," Alpha holds up a hand towards her men. "Stay back. I do not need your help. You," she points at Lydia. "You do not belong here. You are weak and you long for the old ways, the broken ways. You belong with them. Be gone with you."

"Mom?"

Alpha turns from them. "I have marked our border, you will know it when you see it. Take my daughter across it, and see that you never return. If you cross onto our land, my horde will cross onto yours."

~

They walk back towards the truck, Carl holding onto Lydia as she quietly sobs.

"Rick, what's wrong?" Rachel asks. "You look spooked."

He shakes his head. "Not now. I just wanna get back home safe."

As they near the truck, Rick looks out at a huge clearing with a frown. "No.. no, no, no."

"Rick?" Rachel frowns as he races towards the clearing as fast as his leg will allow. She follows him, her mouth agape as she realises what Alpha meant by knowing the border when they see it. "Oh, Jesus."

She places a hand on Rick's shoulder as he falls to his knees. The border is made clear by heads mounted on spikes, the heads of people they knew. Rachel shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks as she glances over the familiar faces, but none as familiar as Rosita and Ezekiel. She drops to her knees beside Rick, her stomach rolling and her blood boiling.

~

"I'm sorry. I didn't know.. i.. i had no idea, im so sorry," Lydia stutters.

Rachel rises to her feet. "It's not your fault," she says, offering Lydia a weak smile.

Rick shakes his head as he stares down at the ground. "Why? It.. it doesn't make sense, why would they?"

Rachel offers him a hand, helping him to his feet. "Rick. What do we do now?"

"We..," Rick shakes his head. "I don't know."

Rachel nods. "Alright. Well first, we take these down," she gestures towards the spikes. "Do we bury them here?"

Rick nods. "Yeah. I can't let their loved ones see them like this."

"I'll get right on it," Rachel says as she walks towards the spikes.

~

Rachel sits with a glass of whiskey in her hand, her eyes red from crying. As Rachel had been placing soil on what was left of their people, Rick had wondered out loud what had happened to their bodies. Lydia had answered that the Whisperers were most likely using them for skins. Carl had stared at Lydia in horror, along with Rachel and Rick.

Rachel couldn't push the thought out of her mind, no matter how hard she tried.

Much to Rick's reluctance, they'd dropped Carl and Lydia off at Hilltop, Rick clinging to his son for dear life as he hugged him goodbye.

They'd spent the journey to Alexandria in silence, agreeing that they'd put off telling everyone the bad news till tomorrow.

~

Rachel makes her way towards Negan's cell, knowing most likely he'll be sleeping. But she needs to see him.

The guard frowns, ready to turn her away, but he sees the look on her face and let's her through no question.

Rachel steps down the stairs with an electric lamp in her hand, placing it on the floor in front of Negan's cell. She watches him sleeping soundly, her lip trembling.

Her mind goes back to the Whisperers camp. She'd watched them making walker suits, and now she knows it was most likely the skin of those she'd know. She clings to the bars, tears once again rolling down her cheeks.

Negan stirs on his mattress, placing a hand over his eyes as he turns towards the bright light outside his cell. "Rachel?" He frowns, his voice husky from sleep. Negan steps off the bed, making his way towards her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I know you were sleeping, but.." she leans her head against the bars, her shoulders shaking as she sobs.

"Hey," Negan says softly as he wraps an arm around her. "It's okay, i'm here. I'm always here."


	9. Chapter 9

"No," Eugene shakes his head.

"I.. i'm sorry, Eugene," Rick says.

"But.. she can't be gone. She.. she was gonna have a baby."

Rick swallows deeply, the air suddenly thick.

"Where is she?" Eugene asks, getting up from Rick's sofa.

"We buried her," Rachel says.

"Why? Why would you do that? You had no right!" He yells, his vision blurring as tears fill his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but we thought it best," Rachel assures him.

"Why?!" He shouts, his lip trembling.

Rick holds out a hand. "Eugene, we-"

"No! I wanna know why?"

"The Whisperers took her body, they took all of their bodies. We thought it best to bury them out there than people have to live with that knowledge," Rachel says.

Eugene stares at her, his mouth agape. He falls back onto the sofa, his head in his hands as he sobs quietly.

"I'm so sorry," she says, her words seeming meaningless under the circumstances.

Eugene lifts his head and wipes at his face. "So what do we do now? We're gonna make a move right? Hit them with every man woman and weapon we have?"

Rick shakes his head. "It's not as simple as that."

"How? How is it not that simple?" Eugene asks.

"They have an ocean of the dead at their disposal," Rachel says. "If we make a move, they set them loose."

"How many?" Eugene asks.

"At least ten thousand," Rick says sombrely. "They'd rip straight through this place, we wouldn't stand a chance."

"So you're gonna do nothing?" Eugene sneers.

"He didn't say that," Rachel says. She steps towards Eugene, placing a hand against his shoulder. "They'll pay for this, i promise you that. But right now, we need to use our heads. We can't go in there all guns blazing, it won't work. You're a man of science, and we're going to need that, we're going to need you. We'll come up with something, but until then, we have to be smart about this. Can you do that?"

Eugene nods, blinking away tears. "That is what i do best."

~

They'd spoken with the loved ones of those who'd died individually. Brandon had been the hardest, what with him being not much more than 19. He'd come to Alexandria with just his mother, and now she was gone.

Rick had called a meeting for the rest of Alexandria. The entire town gathers outside the church, most of them standing impatiently, a mix of anger, fear and confusion on their faces.

He stands in front of them, their chatter quickly ceasing as all eyes are on him. Michonne stands by his side, giving his hand a quick squeeze as she rubs at her stomach with a smile.

Rick clears his throat as he steps forward, staring out at a sea of faces. "I'm sure you all know by now that we've suffered a great loss. This is hard on everyone, especially those who've lost loved ones. Now, i'm sure you've got a lot of questions-"

"Hell yeah," a man shouts from the crowd. "I just wanna know what you're gonna do? Tell me that you're gonna do something."

Rick goes to open his mouth, but he's cut off before he can speak.

"I'll go," a woman says as she steps out of the crowd. "I'll ride out there. I'll tell you exactly what we're up against. They'll never know i was there. We can't just sit here."

A chorus of agreement ensues. Rachel watches them with wary eyes as she stands beside Michonne. "Maybe you should go inside? This could get ugly," she whispers to Michonne.

Michonne shakes her head. "I'm fine, they're not that far gone. They're scared more than anything."

"Alright, but if things go south, i want you straight through those church doors," Rachel says.

"After what they did to Tammy and the rest! Why the hell are we just sitting here? We need to leave today, arm up and go! We should have their heads on fucking spikes!" A guy yells.

"Yeah! We need to fuck them up for what they did to my Mom!" Brandon yells.

"They killed our son! They killed Josh! You knew Josh. Our sons were friends for God's sake. You can't tell me we're gonna do nothing. I'll March my ass down there and take out a few myself! Tell me what we're doing and start fucking doing it!" Vincent yells.

Rick places his hands on his hips. "I'll tell you the same thing i've told everyone. It's not a popular opinion, and i understand that. There's a lot to process here. We're still trying to figure out the situation, so we can figure out a response. One that won't put at risk everything we've built.. and all the communities we call home."

"I never thought i'd live to see the day Rick Grimes became a fucking pussy," someone sneers.

Rick drops his head. "We can't just go in their all guns blazing. We're gonna organise a patrol along the border. People will be canvassing a five mile area at the edge of our territory. They'll be aware of any attempts on their part to invade our land. I'm working on a plan to lead a small expedition across the border, a group that can get in unseen and gather intel on what they're doing, what their numbers are. Once that group returns, i'll have the information needed to put a plan in place."

"That's it?!" Someone shouts.

"Marching a large group across that border into the unknown would be a suicide mission," Rick tries to reason.

"This is bullshit!" Another yells.

Roars of agreement fill the crowd.

Rick holds out a hand. "Okay, everyone needs to calm down."

"After what happened.. i'm supposed to be pissed! We're all supposed to be pissed!"

"Guys.. we really.. let's not let this get out of hand," Eugene says.

"Thank you, Eugene. Guys, please, i assure you we're doing everything we can to-" Rick starts. He ducks as a glass comes flying towards him. It hits the church wall, shattering in all directions.

"Come on, it's getting ugly," Rachel says as she places a hand over Michonne's bump and leads her inside the church.

"You're not doing a damn thing!" The glass thrower yells.

Daryl steps forward, his jaw clenched. "Y'all need ta calm the hell down and leave now, go home an think this over."

"No! Not until we have a plan!" The glass thrower shouts as he steps forward.

Daryl pushes him backwards. "You're leavin, now."

He swings a punch, Daryl stumbling backwards as he connects with his jaw.

Rachel runs towards them, a fist flying at her cheekbone before she even gets halfway to Daryl.

It's a mess. The people of Alexandria fighting with one another, and Rick's best soldiers getting the brunt of it.

"Shit!" Rick frowns.

"Get off him! Let go!" Rachel yells as she attempts to pull a guy off Daryl. He elbows her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her as she falls on her ass.

Gabriel takes her hand, lifting her off the ground and pulling her away from the crowd. He falls to his knees as an elbow connects with the back of his head. Rachel kneels down in front of him, her brows furrowed.

"You alright?"

Gabriel nods, wincing as he rubs at the back of his head.

The entire crowd flinches as a gunshot rings out.

Rick stands with his gun in the air. "Next person throws a punch, i put them in the ground. Understand?"

The residents of Alexandria glance at one another with uncertainty before staring at Rick.

"Go home now!" Rick says, his jaw clenched. "Before someone gets seriously hurt. Remember this night. We're not ourselves. We're scared, and we're lashing out against each other. That can't happen. We'll sort this out.. tomorrow, together. We'll fix this.. all of this. Go home. I know this community is important to all of us. Above all else, we have to preserve this."

The crowd of people drop their heads, most of them slowly making their way back to their homes, muttering under their breath.

Rachel, Daryl and Gabriel make their way over to Rick.

"You alright?" Rick asks them.

They nod in unison.

"Rick, what are we going to do?" Rachel asks. "These people are riled up, and rightly so. I can't blame them for wanting to do something, for not wanting to just sit here."

"I don't know," Rick frowns.

~

Rick walks down the steps towards Negan's cell, his cane in his hand. He'd tried leaving the house without it, especially since he knew he was going to see Negan, but his leg had overtaken his pride.

"Rick," Negan smiles as he stands at his cell door. His eyes drops to Rick's cane with a smirk. "The fuck was going on earlier? Sounded like you had a fucking riot on your hands," he chuckles.

"I need your help," Rick says, dropping his head.

Negan's eyes widen as he grins from ear to ear. "Well, it's about fucking time. Where are we going? Who do you need me to kill? Just point me in the right direction."

Rick stares at him in bemusement. "Are you crazy? Sit the hell down."

Negan's face drops. "What?"

"You're never getting out. How many times do i have to tell you that? Never. I just came to talk. I'd like your.. thoughts on some things."

"Oh.." Negan sits down on his cot. "Okay, well that was fucking embarrassing. Let's just pretend that never fucking happened shall we?" He says as he clears his throat. "Well, Rick.. i'm all fucking ears."

Rick pulls out a chair, wincing as he stretches out his bad leg. "My people, it's getting ugly up there. A fight broke out earlier and-"

"Is Rachel okay?" Negan interrupts, his eyes suddenly dark.

"She's fine. I don't know how long it's gonna stay that way though. My people want answers, they want the Whisperers taken down, they want revenge for the people we've lost."

"And you can't do that because?" Negan waves a hand.

"They have an ocean of the dead. If we make a move, they unleash them on us. I'm stuck. My people are turning against me," Rick says as he rubs at his temples.

"I'm struggling to see what your fucking problem is?"

Rick stares at him, shaking his head as he gets up from his chair. "I knew this was a mistake."

"Hold the fuck on," Negan holds up a hand. "Sit your ass back down."

Rick turns to him with a grimace, sitting back down in his seat. "Say something that makes sense, or we're done."

"You're a leader of men, and you're worried these people are turning against you.. and you're worried about this while you have the best fucking boogie man ever falling into your lap. Leaders make up shit like this to stay in power all the time. You couldn't fucking imagine a better us versus them situation. People rallied behind you because dead fucks were fucking eating people.. and you kept them safe from them. Now you have lunatics dressing the fuck up just like them. I would've killed for something like this to fall into my lap. Rick.. listen.. leader to leader. You're golden."

Rick shakes his head. "It's not that simple. People are angry. They're calling for action, and blind action will get us killed."

"No, they're not. They're fucking scared. What they want is security. Make them feel secure. Make them feel safe.. watch them shut the fuck up."

Rick raises an eyebrow. "You're saying i should lie? I don't know why i bothered coming down here."

"Because for all my faults, and despite how much you fucking hate me, i kept a whole fuck load of people who didn't like me in line, and loyal.. for the most part. Fucking Dwight," Negan sneers. "That was my bad though, i should've listened to Rachel when it came to Dwight. Don't fucking tell her i said that though.. i'll never hear the fucking end of it. Any fucking hoo. You're a good guy, Rick. You don't wanna lie to these people. You feel like misleading them is wrong. And yet.. our common ground, the thing we both agree on.. is that as a leader you have to do whatever it takes to keep people safe. No matter what, even if it means bashing some nice Asian guy's brains in to keep people in line."

Rick stares at him coldly, his jaw clenched as he grips his cane.

"Still too soon?" Negan frowns. "Well what the fuck ever. I'm not saying you outright fucking lie to these people. What i was pointing out is the truth of the situation. At worst, i'm suggesting you use the truth to manipulate people. And at the end of the fucking day, if that keeps people alive, what's the harm?"

Rick gets up from his seat. "I think i can work with that."

"Really?" Negan stares at Rick in confusion, watching as he heads for the stairs. "This earn me anything? Day out? Walk in the park? Special meal?" Negan steps towards his cell as Rick heads up the stairs. "So that's it? Wam-bam thank you, Negan? I don't even get a sad eye-contactless hand job?" Negan steps back with a sigh. "Fucker," he frowns, yet his mouth creeps up into a content smile.

~

Rachel sits with Eugene as he fiddles with a radio. She'd sat with him the last half hour, not wanting him to be alone considering everything that had happened.

They both turn at a knock at the door, Rachel getting up off the sofa.

"Rick," she nods.

"Is Eugene here?"

Rachel steps to one side, closing the door behind him.

"You got that radio working?" Rick asks.

"Yeah, but it's useless, there's nothing out there, Rick," he answers sombrely.

"I wanted to talk to you," Rick says.

"You want me to make myself scarce?" Rachel asks.

Rick shakes his head. "No. I think i have a plan. A good plan. I wanted to get your input first," he gestures towards Eugene.

Eugene gets up from the sofa. "Are we going after them? Are we going to hurt them?"

"Yes. We always were. And we've already more or less started it. Your ammunition factory. We've been stockpiling bullets for months now, just storing them for a rainy day. And now, it's about to start raining. It's time our network of communities had a military. We're going to start selecting people and training them, prepare them for war. The Whisperers won't know what hit them," Rick smiles.

~

Rick makes his way down the dark streets of Alexandria, heading for home. He glances down at his cane with a grimace, yet he's grateful that he has it.

"Hey, Rick."

Rick turns with a frown, his eyes widening as a hooded figure pushes him to the ground.

"See how easy it is to take action?!" Rick falls on his ass. "You ignored us, and we're taking care of it right away, see?!"

Rick clenches his jaw as the guy's boot connects with his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "Shit!" He looks over at a second guy. "Are you guys out of your damn minds?!"

The guy grabs his cane. "You're going to stop fucking talking! You don't speak!" He yells as he brings down the cane over and over. "All you do is talk!" He screams, bringing down the cane once again.

"Morton! That's enough! Stop!"

Morton turns to his friend with a frown. "You idiot! He wasn't supposed to see us! Now we've got no choice, Vincent! Just fucking keep watch!" He yells as he stands above a battered and bloody Rick.

Vincent tackles him from behind, trying to pull him back. "No, Morton!"

"What the fuck! Let go damn it! This needs to happen! They'll come and take more of us if we don't fight back! What about my wife?! And your son?!"

"No, we were only supposed to scare him!" Vincent yells.

Morton punches him in the throat, Vincent stumbling backwards as he struggles to take a breath. "Let's finish this," he frowns, leaning over Rick.

Rick's eyes open as he stretches out his arm, pulling Morton close to him. He grabs Morton's neck with his teeth, sinking them deep into his flesh before he whips his head back, taking half of Morton's throat with him.

"Holy shit.. i," Vincent stumbles backwards, looking at his friend in horror as his face quickly becomes pale, his blood pooling on the ground.


	10. Chapter 10

"What's going to happen when we find him?" Rachel asks as she walks through the woods .

Daryl shrugs, aiming his crossbow at a walker and quickly putting it down. "Don't care. Quick bullet to the head should do it," he mumbles as he collects his arrow.

Rachel turns to him with a frown. "You're joking right?"

"He coulda killed Rick," Daryl says.

"Vincent was scared, and angry."

"So. Ya really want someone like that around our people?" Daryl asks.

"He _is_ our people."

Daryl grunts. "Shoulda known you'd say that."

"Can we not. You're like a broken record," she frowns. "Let's just find him."

"Ya think Rick's just gon let him live?"

"Yes. That's what Rick's all about. Vincent could have killed him if he wanted to, but he didn't," she points out.

"Guess we'll see. But i reckon Rick's gonna put a bullet straight between the eyes. Make an example of him."

"Well i guess we'll just have to disagree on that."

Daryl holds up his hand, pointing ahead of them. "Ya hear that?"

Rachel nods. "You think it's him?"

"Who else is gon be out here?" Daryl steps forward cautiously, his crossbow at eye level.

Vincent stands in the clearing, his face that of a deer caught in headlights.

"Get ya hands up!" Daryl orders.

"I.. i'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Shut the hell up! An get ya hands up!" Daryl shouts.

Vincent lifts his hands above his head as Rachel steps forward. She digs through her rucksack and pulls out a length of rope, tying his hands behind his back.

"Are you gonna kill me?" Vincent asks shakily.

"No, we're not," Rachel assures him.

"But Rick will if he's got a lick a sense," Daryl sneers.

Rachel throws him a look of distaste. "Don't listen to him. He hasn't had any breakfast, he's always grumpy when he hasn't at least got a squirrel in him," she smiles.

"Ain't the time for makin jokes," Daryl frowns.

"Who said i'm joking?" She asks. Rachel turns to Vincent. "Honestly, i don't know what's going to happen. We're going to take you back to Alexandria. And hopefully, Rick's going to be lenient on you."

Vincent nods, sweat dripping down his temples. "I'm sorry. We were only meant to scare him. I didn't want him to get hurt like that."

"I know," Rachel nods. "Rick's smart. So i'm hoping he knows the same."

~

Rachel and Daryl head through the gates of Alexandria with Vincent.

"You found him," Gabe says in surprise as he closes the gate. "Rick's gathered everyone at the church."

Rachel nods as she heads that way, Vincent visibly shaking as she leads him towards the church. "It'll be okay," she whispers, unsure of any such thing.

~

Rick stands at the altar of the church. His face is a mess of bruises, and his nose swollen from being freshly set.

"Some of you may not have heard i was attacked last night, by two of our own. My attackers felt i wasn't taking action fast enough, and maybe they were right. The truth is, i've been afraid. I still am, truth be told. I'm scared of things going back the way they were. I think back on the days before we arrived here, before we found other communities, before we were safe, and it terrifies me. I'm sure you all remember those days, your version of those days. In my version, i lost my wife, and more friends than i can count. So many, i forget some. I can't return to those days, i won't. _We_ can't return to those days."

Rachel watches from the church doors, her hand curled around Vincent's arm.

"So i find myself in a position to lead you, and the biggest part of that is to keep us from returning to how it was before. We look forward, we don't look back," Rick says.

Rachel turns at the sound of footsteps beside her. "Dwight?" She frowns, confused by his presence. Her eyes widen as she sees Lucille through the straps of his rucksack.

Dwight turns to her, nodding briefly before he looks at Rick, his eyes wide at the mess on Rick's face.

"And now we've suffered a violent and deadly attack. We've lost people in a way that reminds us of those early days. Anything that could be seen as a hesitancy on my part, is only because i believe if we allow ourselves to make even one misstep after this tragedy, it could mean the end of _everything_. Everything we've built, everything we've fought so hard for. Make no mistake, being together, that is what makes us safe. And yet, last night, i was attacked by two of our own. I didn't put those heads on those spikes, none of us here were responsible for that. And yet, out of our frustration, we attacked ourselves. The fault belongs on me, as much as it belongs on every one of you. Because we've worked to make ourselves safe, and in doing so, we've made ourselves weak. I've allowed us to become weak. But that ends, starting now. The patrols aren't enough. We need a dedicated force to protect us and keep us safe. An army prepared for anything, an army that can wipe the Whisperers off the face of the earth. We're going to form our own military," Rick says. He nods towards Rachel. "Bring him up."

Rachel walks down the aisle, Vincent right beside her. Daryl follows closely behind, his crossbow slung over his shoulder. Vincent falls to his knees in front of Rick, his head hung in shame.

"I had no choice, the first man who attacked me, i killed him in self defence. This man was the second attacker. He ran after i blacked out. Daryl and Rachel brought him back."

Vincent lifts his head, a tear falling down his cheek. "I've lost my son. I've had so much pain. I haven't slept, i haven't been thinking clearly. We were only going to hurt you, try and scare you into leading an attack. I didn't know it'd go that far. I made a mistake, and i'm sorry. Please.. don't-"

"Stop," Rick says, holding out a hand. "I'm not going to kill you. Not when there's so many out there who wanna harm us. We need you, Vincent," he nods as Vincent takes his hand. Rick pulls him to his feet. "We need each and every one of you. We all have a role to play in this. It's time for us to come together before we're torn apart. This is not a time to kill our own. It's time to band together, so we can kill the Whisperers!"

Cheers and applause fills the church. Rick wasn't sure whether the occasion called for applause, but he was willing to take it rather than them fighting one another.

Michonne holds his hand with a smile as they cheer his name, placing a hand over her growing bump.

~

Negan sits in his cell, a smile crossing his face as he hears the chants from the church.

"Atta boy," he smiles.

~

"So what's next?" Rachel asks Rick as the others clear the church.

"We train people up. Put everyone to use. Those who can't fight,we find them something to do, some other way of contributing," he says.

"And Vincent?" Daryl frowns.

"I meant what i said," Rick nods. "I'm not going back to the old ways. He's been given a second chance, and he's gonna take it with both hands. He'll fight for us, more than that, he'll fight for his boy."

"The other communities on board with this?" Daryl asks.

"They will be," Rick says.

"Talking of the other communities," Rachel nods towards Dwight lingering outside the church. "What's he doing here?"

"I don't know, let's ask," Rick says as he heads outside. "Dwight."

"Rick," Dwight nods.

"Not to sound rude, but what are you doing here?" Rick asks.

"I.. i'm not leading the Saviors anymore."

"What?" Rachel frowns. "How the hell did that happen? Has someone fought you for leadership?"

Dwight shakes his head. "Simon's just as good a leader as i am, he can run the place just fine on his own."

"Naw!" Daryl steps forward. "Ya can't let him run that place by himself, the hell are ya thinkin?"

"I'm thinking that i can't be there anymore. I don't wanna be there anymore."

"Dwight. We were relying on you to balance out Simon. You know how he is," Rick says. "All that power's gonna go straight to his head. How can you be so irresponsible?"

"I tell ya why, cos he's selfish. Don't give a damn bout no one but his self," Daryl frowns.

"That's enough," Rachel says. "If he doesn't want to be there anymore, then that's just the way it is."

Rick stares at Rachel. "Well you're gonna have to talk with Simon. Make sure he's still with us."

"Why me?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You know how he is with you. I can't talk with him, he won't listen to me. You need to keep him on side. Last thing we need is the Saviors rising up and turning against us. If anything, we're gonna need them," Rick points out.

"Alright, i'll ride out there tomorrow. Make sure he doesn't have any big plans," Rachel assures him.

"Good," Rick nods. "You can fill him in on our plan for the Whisperers."

"The hell ya bring that thing for?" Daryl frowns as he glances at Lucille.

Dwight shrugs. "Don't know. It's as good a weapon as any."

Daryl shakes his head and walks off.

"I've gotta get back home, check on Michonne," Rick says. "Make sure you're up early, it'll make me feel a lot better to know we don't have Simon to worry about," he says as he walks away.

Rachel turns to Dwight. "Should we be worried?" Dwight shrugs his shoulders. "Jesus, Dwight. You could be a little more helpful. I just stood up for you."

"I don't know. It's Simon. Who knows what goes on in that head of his? Rick's right though. He's got a soft spot for you. It's a good idea for you to ride out, make him feel like he's still a part of all of this."

"He _is_ a part of all of this. We all are. We're going to need everyone on this," she says. As she turns to leave, she stops for a moment, glancing at Lucille. "Why did you bring her here?"

"It's just a weapon."

"No she's not, and you know it." She steps closer to him, her expression suddenly cold. "Stay away from Negan. He's doing his time, so you just stay the fuck away from him, you hear me?"

"It never crossed my mind to do otherwise."

"Good. See that you stick to it," she says.

~

Negan lies on his cot, staring up at the ceiling.

With everything that had gone on lately, he hadn't seen much of Rachel. He'd tried to be cool about it, but fuck he missed her. In reality, it'd only been a few days, but it felt like an eternity. He figures that whatever's going on, it must be pretty damn serious if she hasn't had the time to come visit him, which worries him all the more.

As he lies there, contemplating whether he can be bothered to masturbate, he hears footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Rick. You better be coming back down here with that fucking hand job you promised me," Negan chuckles. He turns towards the cell door with a frown. "Who the fuck are you?" Negan asks as he gets up off his cot.

"I'm Brandon. And i'm breaking you the hell out of here."


	11. Chapter 11

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Negan frowns.

"Those Whisperers killed my Mom, and Rick isn't doing a damn thing about it. I've heard about you, the kind of person you are. You'll get shit done," Brandon says.

"You think so uh?"

"Yeah. Rick locked you up cos you're dangerous, cos he's afraid of you. But we need someone like you. You can take out the Whisperers, right?"

Negan looks at him with uncertainty, running a hand over his beard. "You know Rick is being cautious for a reason. They have a fucking ocean of the dead."

"It doesn't need to come to that. Rick wants to train up an army, but we don't have time for that. We can get in there and take them out, the both of us. Rick doesn't deserve to be a leader," Brandon says with a frown.

"So who would you have lead these people?"

"You. I think you've got what it takes to lead. You've lead before."

"Yeah, and that didn't work out too fucking great," Negan points out.

"We need you. Rick isn't the right man for this. He's letting those Whisperers get away with what they did. If we wait around any longer, they'll kill us all. He's probably gonna send Daryl and that Rachel chick to spy on the Whisperers, and it'll most likely get them killed."

Negan clenches his jaw. "You sure about that?"

"Why wouldn't he? They're the strongest people we have, and they're the best trackers, makes sense."

"Alright then. How the fuck are we doing this?" Negan asks.

"Doing what?"

Negan rolls his eyes. "Getting me the fuck outta here? You got a plan?"

"I've got the key," Brandon smiles as he digs in his pants pocket. "We have to go now though. I slipped a little something in Eugene's drink, he should be in the bathroom for a while."

"Smart move," Negan smiles.

"We can hop over the wall on the south side, no one will see."

Negan nods. "Alright. You got my clothes?"

"Clothes?"

"Yeah, you know, fucking clothes, as in the shit you put on each day when you fucking get outta bed. I'm not roaming around the fucking woods in this garbage. Rick probably has my old clothes in storage, can you grab those?"

Brandon nods. "Yeah, i can do that," he says as he opens the cell door.

Negan steps out of the cell, letting out a deep breath as she stretches his arms. "I'll meet you on the south side of the woods."

"Wait, what do you mean you'll meet me?"

"I've got something i need to do first," Negan says.

"But what if you get caught?" Brandon asks.

"I'm a fucking badass, that's why you're breaking me out in the first fucking place. I won't get caught."

~

Negan creeps through the back yards of Alexandria, most of the residents sleeping soundly. He'd been wandering around for at least fifteen minutes trying to find the right house. He breathes a sigh of relief as he spots Daryl's motorbike, knowing full well that Rachel's house is just opposite.

He opens the back door, wincing slightly as it lets out a creak. He's still not completely confident it's the right house. For all he knows, he could end up walking into Rick's bedroom. Negan stifles a chuckle at the hilarity of what would happen were he to step in the bedroom and find Rick sleeping like a baby.

Negan has no reason to worry though, as he opens the bedroom door to find Rachel sleeping on her side. He steps over to her slowly, looking down at her with a smile.

Fuck he wants to wake her. He's pretty damn sure that he could quite happily spend the next few hours fucking her into oblivion before anyone notices he's gone. Negan's also pretty sure that she wouldn't make him go back to his cell either. But that was the problem, she'd want to go with him, and he couldn't have that. He doesn't want her to have any part in this, for two reasons. One, because he doesn't want the people of Alexandria turning against her. And two, he doesn't want her to get hurt.

Negan freezes as Rachel rolls onto her back, kicking off the covers. _Fuck me! You're not making this easy for me, are you, baby,_ he thinks as he looks her over greedily, his eyes dark with lust as he gazes at her little, black panties. It's then that he notices she's wearing what appears to be one of his white t-shirts, his heart aching a little at the sight of her.

He glances at her pillow with a frown, something red catching his eye. Negan leans over and grabs his red scarf from beneath her pillow with a smirk. He brushes a hand over her hair. "I'll bring this back, baby. I fucking promise you.. or i'll try," he whispers, kissing her forehead sweetly.

~

Rachel wakes to the sound of footsteps running up her stairs, her bedroom door flying open before she has a chance to rub at her eyes.

"Jesus, Rick! What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Rick looks at her in surprise. As soon as he'd found Negan's cell empty, he'd expected to find her house empty too.

Daryl stands beside him, looking down at his feet a little sheepishly.

"Is someone going to tell me what the bloody hell is going on?" She frowns.

"Negan's gone," Rick says.

Rachel stares at him, her eyes wide. "What? What do you mean he's gone?"

"I mean his cell's empty, and he's gone. And i can't even begin to work out how that happened," Rick frowns.

Rachel steps out of bed, tilting her head as she looks up at him. "Oh i can see where your mind took you. You thought it was me, didn't you?"

Rick breathes deeply, his hands resting on his hips.

"Can ya blame us?" Daryl pipes up. "Ain't that Negan's shirt?"

"What's that got to do with anything? I wouldn't let him out, and i didn't. How the hell did this even happen? Where was Eugene?" She asks.

"Looks like someone slipped something in his drink, he was.. occupied in the bathroom for over an hour apparently," Rick says.

"Who would do that? Half the people here are afraid of Negan, the other half hate him, so who?" Rachel wonders. "Is anyone missing?"

Rick shakes his head. "We haven't checked."

"Of course you haven't You were too busy going to suspect number one," she frowns.

"Look, i'm sorry about that, but like Daryl said.. you're the only person who visits him. You can't blame me for assuming the obvious."

"I guess i can't. But now we know it's not me, can we focus on finding out who it was?"

"No. I still need you to ride out to the Sanctuary," Rick says.

"After this?" She frowns.

"Yes. We can't lose sight of the bigger picture here. I'll have Daryl and Dwight go look for him."

Rachel glances at Daryl warily. "Can't you have someone else look for him?"

"Why?" Daryl smiles. "Ya worried bout what i'll do when i find him?"

Rick turns to Daryl with a frown. "The orders are for Negan to be brought back alive."

"Unless he don't wanna come back," Daryl says. "He tries somethin an i'll put an arrow straight between his eyes."

Rachel stares at him coldly, her heart pounding against her chest. "If you don't bring him back alive, then don't expect me to stick around here," she says. "I'm going to ride out, the sooner this is done the better." Rachel stands there a few moments, glancing from Rick to Daryl. "You want to watch me get dressed or something?"

"Sorry," Rick smiles awkwardly before heading through the door.

"Daryl, can you just hang back a sec, i want to talk to you," Rachel says.

"What is it?" He asks, shaking his hair from his face.

"I know you hate Negan, and i understand why, i really do. But.. can you please try not to kill him?"

"Rachel-"

"Please. You know what it would do to me. Just.. try, for me."

"I ain't makin any promises," Daryl frowns.

~

Rachel drives through the Sanctuary gates. The last time she'd been here she'd been with Negan, and her stomach rolls at the fact that the place doesn't appear to have changed much. It's still cold looking from the outside. The one thing that _has_ changed, is the dead no longer hang off the walls.

She steps off her motorbike, greeted by Arat and a Savior she doesn't know.

"Hey, girl. What you doing here?" Arat smiles.

"I was hoping to see Simon. Is he around?"

"He is. Come on, i'll take you to him."

Shivers run down Rachel's spine as she walks the corridors of the Sanctuary. Some things _have_ changed. More food is being grown outside, and the mood seems less tense. But Rachel knows all too well that can change in a heartbeat, and she's here to make sure that very thing doesn't happen.

"He's through there," Arat says, pointing towards what used to be Negan's headquarters. "Go straight through, he'll be pleased to see you."

Rachel heads through the double doors, glancing around the parlour. She looks over at the bar with a smile, and suddenly her throat feels thick, her eyes welling up as the memories come flooding like a slap to the face. She wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand, willing the tears away.

The double doors to Negan's old room are open. His sofa has been replaced with a dark blue fabric sofa, and to her relief, much of the interior looks different. She hears the toilet flush, silently cursing herself for not knocking as Simon comes out of the bathroom.

He looks at her, his eyes wide in surprise. "Rachel, what the hell are you doing here?" Simon smiles, making his way over to her. He pulls her in for a hug then offers her a seat. "You like what i've done with the place?"

Rachel nods. "Yeah. I was worried it was going to look exactly the same as when i left here."

Simon nods sympathetically. "Yeah, that nostalgia train can be a damn bitch. It's good to see you. I didn't think i'd ever get you to come out here," he raises an eyebrow as he sits down beside her. "Is this to do with Dwight?"

"Yes, it is. I'm going to be honest with you. Dwight thinks you can run this place just fine, but Rick.. he's worried."

"And yet he didn't grace me with his own presence," Simon smiles.

"Simon," Rachel says softly. "I like you, i always have. You've always been good to me."

"Well you did save my life on more than one occasion."

"And you mine. But there's another side to you," she says.

"Sometimes i need that other side, don't we all?"

"Yes. But i need to know you're not going to turn this place back to what it was."

"Rachel, come on," Simon smiles.

"Simon," Rachel looks at him sombrely. "We can't go back to the way things were. I.. i can't face another war with the Saviors."

"Jesus, Rachel. There's no need to be so dramatic. Who said anything about a war?"

"If you start going backwards, that's what it'll come to. I don't want that. Do _you_ want that? Because if that happens, we'll be fighting on opposite sides. I may have to kill you," she smiles.

"That'd be a good way to go," he chuckles.

"We're going to need you. This war with the Whisperers, were going to need everybody. So maybe you can save your little psychotic outbursts for the war that we inevitably have to fight in?"

"I think i can do that," Simon smiles.

"Good. Because i meant what i said, we're going to need you. I want you right alongside us, not against us."

"You don't need to worry about that. I save my.. _psychotic outbursts_ , for the dead these days."

Rachel nods. "I need to tell you something while i'm here, and i need you to promise me you'll keep it to yourself."

"Always."

"Negan's out."

Simon stares at her, taken aback. "I'm sorry? How the hell did that happen?"

"We don't know. You can be sure i was the first person they came to though."

"Well i'd expect nothing less of them. Where do you think he's gone?" Simon asks.

"Well that depends on how he got out. There's a boy missing, Brandon. He just lost his Mum because of the Whisperers. Maybe he let him out, and maybe Negan is in on his way to the Whisperers as we speak."

"You tell Rick that theory?"

"Yes, and he thinks it's possible. But he doesn't believe we'll see Negan again. Thinks he'll most likely kill the boy, swerve the Whisperers, and just keep on walking."

"You and i both know that isn't the case. If Negan was leaving for good, he would've taken you with him," Simon smiles.

~

Negan zips up his leather jacket, taking a good whiff of the fresh air. "You smell that, kid? Smells like freedom and leather. Fuck i'm glad to be outta there. Just wish i had my two favourite girls with me."

"We should keep moving. The Whisperers are far from here," Brandon says.

"Alright, chill your fucking boots. There's no rush."

"I brought you out here so you can end them, not to smell the fresh air."

"Hey," Negan stops in his tracks. "Watch how you're fucking talking to me."

"Can we just go? We need to end them, now! And then we get back, and you take over," Brandon says.

Negan raises an eyebrow. "Woah, what's this shit about taking over?"

"Like what i said in the cell. You should be leading us. Rick doesn't have what it takes."

"I thought you were just fucking rambling," Negan frowns. "Rick's a good leader."

"No he's not. He came here, and he took this place over, and now.. i've lost my Mom!"

"Well that's just about the saddest fucking story i've ever heard," Negan says sarcastically.

"First we kill the Whisperers, then Rick."

"I'm sorry?" Negan frowns.

"He has to die!"

Negan tilts his head. "Really? Because that isn't how my plan goes, in fact, you're completely fucking up my plan."

"Your plan? I got you out! You listen to me! If you won't kill Rick, then i will."

"Is that so?" Negan asks.

"Yeah, i will."

"Hmm, well i guess if that's what you really want, then i can't stop you," Negan says. "Oh, wait.." Negan takes out his knife, slashing at Brandon's throat. "Well would you look at that, seems i fucking can."

Brandon grabs at his throat as he falls to his knees.

Negan clenches his jaw, a sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach. _Fuck! Rachel's made me go all fucking soft._ "Sorry, Brandon. But you are wrong. Rick _is_ the right person to be leading us. And people like you are gonna do nothing but fuck things up for us. Night, kid," Negan says as he walks away.


	12. Chapter 12

Rachel rides through the gates of Alexandria, the sun a few hours from setting. She heads straight for Rick's house, pulling up outside impatiently.

"Hey," Rick nods. "I didn't think you'd be back before dark."

"I told you i wanted to get it done. Have Daryl and Dwight gone?"

"Yeah, they went out straight after you left."

"You heard anything from them?"

Rick shakes his head. "You really think he's gonna show his face again?"

"I do. Which way did they go?"

"Rachel, i gave them specific orders to bring him back alive."

"And you think they'll stick to those orders? I don't know if you've noticed, but Daryl's become really cold lately. He wanted to kill Vincent, did you know that?"

"No, i didn't. But he brought him back alive, because i asked him to."

"But this is Negan. It'll be so easy for Daryl to say he put up a fight, and i can't see Dwight having a problem with that either. You couldn't have picked two worse people to go looking for Negan."

~

Negan walks through the woods, the world around him an orange haze as the sun dips in the sky.

As he rambles on, he regrets killing Brandon. Partly because he knows how Rachel would feel about it, but mostly because he has no clue how to find the Whisperers.

As the sun slowly fades, the air becomes chilly.

"Little fucker could've got me a fucking sleeping bag," Negan frowns as he comes to a clearing.

He walks through a town, keeping an eye out for a half decent place to rest his head. Negan turns to his left at the sound of footsteps, taking his knife from his belt.

"Who the fuck's there? Come out from wherever you're fucking hiding," Negan frowns as he holds up his knife. He takes a step back, his eyes widening at what looks like the dead standing a few feet ahead of him. _Whisperers._ "Wow, you guys are scary as fuck. If it were darker and i couldn't see your mouths through those masks, i'd never be able to tell you apart from the dead fucks. How do you guys even fucking tell each other from the dead?"

"You know what we are?" One of them asks.

"Well yeah, i've got fucking eyes," Negan says.

"Why did you come here?"

"You say that like this shitty town is something fucking special. I was just looking for a place to lay my head. This skin thing work? Because i could get into that," Negan smiles.

"You were not sent here?" A voice comes from behind him.

"Huh?" Negan turns his head. "Holy shit! You're a big fucker aren't you? Jesus Christ! You some kinda rebel? Won't wear the full skin suit? Bet you just hang out behind the others saying, _'pay no attention to me,'_ hoping the dead fucks won't notice your chin? Or is it that they can't find enough skin to cover your giant ass? What's your name, big guy?"

"We do not have names. I am called Beta."

"Well excuse fucking me, but that's a name. A fucking stupid one, but it still counts."

Beta steps closer, towering above Negan. He'd assumed Rachel had been exaggerating, but she'd been dead on the money. Beta was huge, more than a foot taller than himself.

"You are not amusing. You are too loud. This is not a world for the loud anymore. You need to be silenced," Beta says.

Big fucker or not, Negan squares up to him as best he can. "Is that a fucking threat?" He scowls. "I'm not a fucking idiot. I can fucking count, and i count five of you. The rest are dead fucks, and while i appreciate you holding those stupid fucks at bay, i'd bet my handsomest nut only two of you can actually fight. I'm not gonna win a full blown fight, especially with you, frowny Mc'twoknives jumping in. But i'm damn fucking sure i'll kill at least three of you smelly fucking piss bowls before you get me."

"You think so?" Beta smirks.

"I most certainly fucking do, and i think you fucking think so too, otherwise you would've made a damn move already. But you don't need to. I'm a joiner. You guys have a pledge? I'll pledge all fucking day! I've been alone for too damn long and i'm ready to shack the fuck up. Well, not shack up shack up, although for all i know you're all fuckable under there, it's hard to tell," Negan chuckles as he glances at the other Whisperers. "The point being, fucking or no fucking, what the fuck ever, i just want a safe place to sleep tonight."

Beta turns away from Negan and walks away from the others. "Take his knife and bring him."

"Now that's the fucking spirit! You act all tough but you're a real fucking softy aren't you, Beta Mc'twoknives?" Negan smirks. He's met with silence, but for the time being he's just grateful he has his foot in the door.

~

"So how did it go with Simon?" Rick asks as he sits at Rachel's kitchen counter.

"It went good."

"So you don't think he poses a threat?"

"I think as long as you keep him involved, make sure he's a part of this, make him feel important, then we'll be alright. Simon may be a loose cannon, but we need him. He'll be a good ally to have during this war. So try your best to run decisions past him."

"Really?" Rick raises an eyebrow.

"Yes. We can't afford to fall out of favour with the Saviors. I'm not saying let him make the decisions, just try and make him think he is, bloody humour him."

"You know, if _you_ were leading the Saviors, we wouldn't have anything to worry about."

"I'm not a leader, and this is my home. Are you trying to get rid of me?" Rachel frowns.

Rick tilts his head. "Of course not. I'm just saying it how it is. I bet the Saviors would follow you."

"They probably would, in fact, Simon's asked me on more than one occasion to co-lead with him. But i don't want to lead, and i definitely don't want to go back to the Sanctuary," she says with a shudder. "Anyway. I asked Gareth to keep an eye on Simon, let me know if anything changes at the Sanctuary."

"That's smart. Can you trust Gareth though?"

"Yes. He's a good guy, and he doesn't want the Sanctuary to go back to how it was before."

Rick nods with a smile. "I'm gonna need your help today."

Rachel sighs deeply. "You're just trying to make sure i don't go looking for Negan, aren't you?"

"Well i'm not gonna lie, the thought had crossed my mind. But i need your help with training up our people tomorrow. The more people that can shoot a bow the better, you think you can do that?"

Rachel rubs at her temples. "Sure."

~

Beta leads Negan to a makeshift camp, a fire lit in the centre with people sat around it. Negan glances over at what looks like fresh skins hanging from a wooden frame.

"Jesus. I was starting to think i'd seen fucking everything," Negan grimaces.

"This way," one of the Whisperers says.

"Lead the fuck on. Hey, do i get to pick my own skin suit later? I'm gonna need one with a generous crotch area, on account of my thick, meaty dick," Negan chuckles. "Do you guys put zippers in there? Some kinda button or some shit? Because i can't undo a bunch of buttons every time i need to take a piss."

"Who is this?"

Negan looks up at a bald woman standing on top of a cart. "Well you most certainly must be Alpha. Allow me to introduce myself, i'm Negan," he smiles. Alpha steps down from the cart and makes her way over to him. "I'm really loving the bald thing. I mean, i've seen a lot of attractive women in my day, and i go for all kinds, but this bald thing, shit, it's really working for me."

"Do you think i find you amusing?" She frowns, heading towards the trees.

Negan walks beside her with a smile. "I'm hoping you find me panty-drenching-rugged-as-fuck handsome," he smirks. She stares at him, clearly not amused. "I've been told i don't always make the best first impressions. But i grow on people, you'll see."

"How have you survived on your own?"

"I haven't always been on my own. I was part of a larger group, their leader even, but that didn't work out, so i hit the road."

"Would i be correct in assuming you're looking for a group who can help you get revenge on the people who exiled you?" She asks.

"I'd be lying if i said the thought hadn't crossed my fucking mind. But it's not the kind of thing i'd ask for on a first fucking date," he smiles.

"Please stop that," Alpha says.

Negan steps closer to her, biting on his lip. "Your mouth says, 'no,' but your eyes say, 'fuck me until your dick breaks off inside me and fuses into some kinda Barbie doll crotch shit,' you get me?" Negan smirks. Alpha throws a punch at him, Negan stumbling backwards as he wipes at his mouth. "Shit. Okay, okay. I can tell when i crossed the line, my bad."

They both turn at the sound of hurried footsteps. Beta runs towards them with two large knives in his hands.

"Did he strike you, Alpha? I will end him where he stands."

Alpha holds out a hand. "No, Beta, stop. He was just being annoying."

Beta places his knives beneath his jacket. "I have encountered that as well."

"Well if it isn't the jolly gre.. you're really tall. Whatever. I was shooting for a thing there and i fucking lost it."

Beta moves towards him, grabbing Negan by the throat. He slams him against a tree, Negan's feet leaving the floor as Beta holds him at arms length.

"Beta! What are you doing?" Alpha yells.

"He told me he didn't know of us. I just encountered people who knowingly crossed our border looking for him. I was attacked, i narrowly escaped. He lied to me," Beta frowns.

"Because..," Negan struggles to get his words out, Beta refusing to loosen his grip on his throat. "Because i was scared! Okay, i'll admit it. When i'm scared out of my fucking mind and pissing my pants, i will lie through my fucking teeth. If that makes me a bad person then fine, what the fuck ever."

"Explain yourself," Alpha demands.

"He's a scary fucking guy."

"You lied to Beta. You knew about us. Explain," Alpha says.

"Fucking fuck the hell out of it. I'm tired, just fucking kill me already if you're gonna do it," Negan sneers.

Beta releases his grip, Negan dropping to his feet as he catches his breath. Beta draws his knife.

"No, not yet," Alpha says as she steps towards Negan. "You're not scared, are you? Scared of dying?"

"No. I've already lived a shit load longer than i expected to. Been locked in a cell for close to two fucking years, to be honest, i wanted out so bad i forgot how fucking shitty it is out here."

"Why did you come here?" Alpha asks.

"Truth be told, i think i have a lot to offer you," Negan smiles.

~

Rachel sits on her porch steps, the dark night air chilly against her skin. She wonders where Negan is, whether he's found somewhere to rest his head for the night. Her heart screams at her to scale the wall and go look for him, but her head tells her to wait, that he'll come back.

She holds her head in her hands, her stomach rolling as she imagines him all alone out there. It had been years since he'd been out, yet the dead are still going strong, and her mind plays scenarios over and over of what could happen to Negan should he come across one too many.

"Can't sleep?"

Rachel lifts her head, surprised to see Rick at this hour. "No. Thought i'd get some air," she says. "What are you doing up?"

Rick walks over, resting his foot on the bottom step of her porch, his cane in his hand. "Daryl just got through on the radio."

Rachel's eyes widen, her heart sinking almost to her stomach.

"Don't worry, it's not Negan," Rick assures her. Rachel breathes a sigh of relief. "Don't be too relieved. Hilltop were helping with the search. Daryl's says they must've crossed the border by accident, came across the Whisperers."

"Are they okay?"

Rick nods. "No one died. But this is bad. The Whisperers gave us clear instructions not to cross their border. So now.." Rick rubs at his temples.

"We basically just declared war," Rachel nods.


	13. Chapter 13

Negan rubs at his eyes as the sun begins to rise. He rolls onto his side, his eyes widening as Beta sits just a few feet away with a knife in his hand as he stares in Negan's direction.

"Morning, beautiful," Negan smirks. Beta grunts, but still refuses to look away. _Fucking weirdo,_ Negan frowns. He unzips his sleeping bag, turning to look at the rest of the camp. He'd been made to sleep away from the others, and truth be told he'd been relieved. This was not a place he intended to stay for long.

Negan glances over at the woods as Alpha steps out.

"I do not approve of this," Beta says as he rises to his feet, gesturing towards Negan.

Alpha stares at him with a frown. "Tell me what you don't approve of, Beta."

"You are letting him live. He should be killed for trying to deceive you. He was forbidden to come here. You spoke your word, your word is law. He does not understand our ways, he is defiant. You cannot allow him to live."

"Hey," Negan frowns as he looks up at Beta. "I'm interested in learning your ways. Don't i get any fucking credit for that? How exactly do you guys recruit people when you have so little trust?"

Beta rushes towards Negan. "You mock me?!" Negan jumps to his feet as Alpha grabs Beta's shoulder.

"You question my judgement," Alpha sneers. "Do you also question my leadership, my strength? Is it time, Beta for you to become Alpha? You have stood by my side for so long, helping me lead, trusting my judgement, never have you asserted your dominance over me when we both know you could at any time. Is that time now? Is this a challenge?"

Beta drops to one knee, resting an arm against his thigh as he dips his head. "No. You are my Alpha. I have sworn never to challenge you. I am sorry. Please forgive me."

Alpha places her hand against his head. "You are forgiven. Leave us."

Negan watches with a smirk as Beta walks away. "Well that was fucking awesome," he says with a smile. Negan drops to one knee. "I recognise your strength and i bend to your will. Do you accept me?"

Alpha steps towards him, placing a hand on his head. "I do. You may stand."

"Is it okay that this is giving me a hard on?" Negan smirks.

Alpha stares at him, clearly not amused. "Stand."

"Sorry," he smiles as he gets to his feet. "Sometimes little Negan gets control of the mic for a second or two.. embarrasses the fuck outta me. And if i'm being honest, it's usually a lot more than a fucking second or two."

"You can stay. How long you stay is up to you."

"Do i get my knife back?" Negan asks. "Big dude took it last night."

"You'll get it back when you prove yourself. Learn the rules and follow them," she says.

~

"My hands hurt."

"That's because you need to strengthen them up, same with your arms. It's hard work drawing a bow," Rachel says. "I'll give you some exercises to do."

"How you getting on?" Rick asks as he makes his way over.

"I'd say four out of the ten here have potential."

"I was hoping for more than that," Rick frowns.

"I can't work miracles, and it's not like we have time. Eugene's going to have to shit bullets if we even want to make a dent in that walker herd the Whisperers have," Rachel says.

Rick looks over at his people trying their best to hit the makeshift targets with their arrows. He rubs at his temples.

"You okay?" She asks.

"No. We're heading for war, and i'm not sure we can win."

"Course we can. Because we want it more. Those Whisperers are not much more than animals. They've given up on this world. We're going to fight for it, and we'll win," she assures him.

"Let's hope so," he nods. "How are you?" Rick asks.

Rachel shrugs. "Having a mini heart attack every time the radio goes, but otherwise.."

Rick stares at her. "What do you see in him?"

"I love him."

"But why?" He asks with a frown.

Rachel sighs deeply. "Do you care?"

"Of course i care. I care about you. And it's been nearly two years and you haven't given up on him, even though people dislike you for it, so why? You're nothing like him. You and Negan couldn't be more different if you tried.. except maybe for your sense of humour," Rick smiles.

"Okay, first of all, my sense of humour is nothing like Negan's, Negan has no filter. And second.. it's.. it's not like Negan introduced himself the same way he did to you. I was alone when i came across him, and i saved his life. I'd spent the previous two weeks looking for you guys, and.. i thought you were dead. I had no one, and nowhere to go. Negan put a roof over my head, gave me a reason to keep fighting. The Saviors, they were my family for a good while. You want me to tell you how it looked from where i was?"

"Sure," Rick nods, running a hand over his beard.

"I was stood with Simon when it came through on the radio that Timmy and his men got blown up on their motorbikes. And i was angry, angry that someone would do that to my people. And then the satellite outpost. I nearly died. As far as i knew, a bunch of savages ripped through there and killed my people whilst they slept, and then someone burned the rest alive."

"It wasn't as simple as that, and you know it," Rick says.

"Maybe not, but that's how it was at the time. And when i got back to the Sanctuary, Negan took care of me. But all i could think about was getting revenge on the people who'd done that to us. Yeah, maybe some of the men at the outpost deserved what they got, but most of them were just people trying to get by. And when they brought Daryl to the Sanctuary.." Rachel shakes her head. "I couldn't get my head around it. That it was you. I tried to think what could have happened to make you so cold that you'd kill people in their sleep."

"Negan was terrorising people, forcing them to give him everything they had."

"And look what you did. You killed a bunch of people you'd never met on the word of people you didn't really know, and for what? A few tins of food and some fruit and veg," she points out. "We've all done things that keep us awake at night. Dwight," Rachel shakes her head. "I can still hear his screams you know. I watched as Negan held that iron to his face, and it still haunts me even now. That's probably the worst thing i've ever done. But i have to live with that. Negan, he had rules for a reason. Because he had some real bad people working for him, and he needed to keep them in line. I'm not saying i'd go back to that, because i wouldn't. Things got out of control. Everyone thinks they're doing the right thing. And the right thing, is the thing that keeps your people alive. No matter the cost. Even if innocent people get hurt."

Rick looks down at his feet, resting his hand against his cane. "I shouldn't have asked."

"No, you probably shouldn't have, but you did. I love him because i don't see him the way you do. I've seen a different side to him that no one else has seen," Rachel shakes her head. "None of it matters now. We need to focus on winning this war."

Rick nods. "How am i supposed to lead this war? I'm not in any fit shape to fight in it."

"That doesn't matter. Your people will fight for you. You just tell us what to do, and we'll do it."

~

"Fuck yeah! You see that shit?" Negan grins as he sends an arrow straight through the neck of a pig. He glances around him at the Whisperers, their silence deafening. Negan wishes Rachel had been there to see it, she'd surely appreciate the shit out of it.

Negan makes his way back to camp carrying the pig over his shoulders with a smirk. "Take a fucking gander at what i caught."

Alpha walks over with a frown. "What did we tell you about keeping quiet?"

"Yeah, _'Whisperers,'_ i fucking get it. You're not called that because you fucking scream a lot. I just shot a fucking pig with an arrow for the first time in my life. I was fucking thrilled. But i get it now, understood."

Alpha nods. "Go take it to be cleaned out, they'll help you," she gestures towards a couple of women.

"With fucking pleasure," Negan smiles. He drops the pig on the ground in front of the women with a smirk. "You ladies gonna show me how to gut this bad boy?"

They look up at him with wide eyes, quickly dropping their gaze to the pig.

Negan rolls his eyes. _Jesus Christ! What the fuck is it with everyone here?_ "Alright, well how about i go collect some wood? Build us a big ass fire?" When he's met with silence once again, he turns to leave with a frown, heading out into the woods.

With an arm full of logs, he makes his way back to camp. As he steps back into the clearing, he feels hands tugging at his shirt. "What the shit?" Negan stumbles backwards, falling on his ass as two of the dead come upon him. "Oh, fuck! Is someone gonna fucking help?!" He yells.

"If you are strong you will survive," one of the Whisperers says.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You're not going to fucking help?! I don't have a fucking knife!" Negan shouts as he grapples with the dead.

"You have earned your property back. Now prove you deserve it," Alpha says as she throws him his knife.

Negan reaches for it, plunging it straight into the skull of the walker. He pushes it off, grabbing the second walker's arm before he thrusts the knife up through it's neck. Negan breathes a sigh of relief as he gets to his feet. "Well thanks for the fucking help," he frowns. Negan grabs the dead, throwing them over his shoulders as he takes them over to a couple of Whisperers who'd just finished skinning one of the dead. "Oh yeah, motherfuckers. Soak it in. Got a couple of fresh ones for you."

"Two kills on your own? Impressive work," one of the Whisperers says.

~

The sun long since faded, Negan makes his way over to a makeshift table filled with food. "Oh boy. Daddy is hungry," he smiles as he rubs at his stomach. "I'm Daddy by the way, just to be clear."

"Negan. Join me for dinner," Alpha says as she stands beside him.

"Well would you look at that," Negan smirks in Beta's direction.

With his belly full, Negan tries to find a spot to rest his head. He heads in Alpha's direction, but Beta blocks his way.

"Not here. You sleep on the other side of camp," Beta frowns.

"Limp dick giant fuck. Fuck you, softy mcdickface," Negan mutters under his breath as he makes his way to the other side of the camp.

"Stop.. stop it!"

Negan turns his head with a frown at the sound of a woman's voice. He drops his sleeping bag to the floor, running in the direction it came from.

Negan stands frozen to the spot for a moment, his eyes wide as he watches two men grabbing a young woman, one of them tugging at her pants.

"What the fuck? You sick fuck!" Negan yells as he runs at one of them, knocking them to the ground. He kneels above the Whisperer, throwing punch after punch straight to his face. "Tear _my_ pants off, prick! See what i got! I'll knock your fucking teeth out with my swinging dick you sick fuck!"

Negan rises to his feet as he draws his knife, the other Whisperer stepping back with his eyes wide. "Last chance, you force yourself into that woman, and i'll force this knife into your dick hole! You know what? Too fucking late already!" Negan yells, his face an angry shade of red.

Beta comes up behind him, hitting Negan in the back of the head.

"The fuck!" Negan grimaces as he falls to the ground.

"Stay down," Beta says as he presses his foot into the small of Negan's back.

Negan turns his head, baring his teeth. "You're fucking defending them?"

"These men were living their lives. We do not interfere. She did not call for our help. You denied her the right to defend herself, to prove she is strong," Beta says coldly as he takes his foot off Negan.

Negan gets to his feet. "Are you fucking joking with this shit?!"

Alpha steps out from behind Beta. "I know what you were trying to do. But it is not our way."

"Then maybe it fucking should be!" Negan yells.

"You cannot allow this insult to go unpunished," Beta says.

"Beta, go. I'll handle him," she says as she heads towards the woods. "Come with me," she gestures to Negan.

"Fucking weirdest weirdos ever," Negan mumbles under his breath as he follows her.

They walk a good five minutes before Alpha stops and turns to him. "You have proven yourself to be an asset. But i fear you do not belong here."

"Maybe i do. Maybe you fucking nutcases need me. Because if this is how you do things, you're so fucked in the head you might as well be dead bodies pretending you're still alive. That shit is vile, Alpha. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself," he sneers.

"She was weak. If you protect the weak, they never become strong," Alpha says.

"Protecting the weak is the whole fucking basis for civilization. If you're not protecting the weak, you're not fucking civilized. You're fucking animals," Negan frowns.

"We _are_ animals, Negan. Civilization is a myth. That is the truth. That ugliness you saw back there? Don't look away, stare into it, see what we are. That is the only way to free yourself."

"That's just fucking bullshit. If your instinct is to hurt another person, to get pleasure from their pain, then you're a fucking monster and need to be put the fuck down. I've done unspeakable things, but i've always had a reason. It's always been for a greater good. Never for pleasure. How the fuck can you let this happen to your own people?!"

"This is nature. Only the strong survive. If you don't have the strength to fend them off, you have to develop the strength to overcome.. you can sleep out here, with no protection. If you are strong we will speak tomorrow," Alpha says as she turns away.

"Get the fuck back here! Talk to me," Negan frowns.

"There is nothing to talk about."

"I'm not the thinnest dick at the orgy. I see how things work here. You're Alpha until you're not. You show weakness, it's over. I don't wanna be Alpha, you don't have to worry about that. I'm Negan," he smirks. "And that's fucking better. You have Beta protecting you, in time i think you'll see you have me protecting you too."

"Beta does not.."

"Oh he most certainly fucking does! And you need him to. You're a fucking hypocrite," Negan scowls. "You wouldn't be Alpha for a fucking weekend without his big ass giving you longing looks and cock blocking the rest of those savages."

"My strength, my rules, they hold this place together. I have to be strong for them, i have to.." a tear rolls down her cheek as she drops her head. "I let them have my daughter, i thought it would make her stronger, i thought there was no other way to live in this world.. i.. i miss her so much. I'm not strong."

Negan looks away from her as he clears his throat. "I, um.. i lost someone very close to me. It was right before all this happened. One day they were there, and then it all just fell apart. They died. It fucking broke me. I don't feel anymore.. or at least i try not to, because that's my strength. That's why i'm alive. You tell me i have to crush a field of babies to keep breathing? Sure. You say people who rely on me aren't going to live unless i turn someone's head into a bowl of gravy? I'm there. I don't feel bad about it. It just is what it is. It's survival. But like i said, i'm broken. That's not living. You think it makes you strong to pretend emotions aren't real. That you're all animals and you value strength above all else. It's all a game, Alpha.. and you're not fucking winning."

"Maybe you do belong here," Alpha smiles.

"Maybe," Negan says. He takes out his knife, slitting her throat swiftly. "But i don't wanna be here."

Alpha drops to the ground as she clutches at her neck, blood pouring through her fingers.

"I wanna feel again.. maybe. I owe my girl that much," he says as he kneels over her. "That's it, just let go," Negan smiles as he tucks his arm beneath her head. He takes his knife and slashes deeply at her neck continuously until her head drops with a thud.

"There we go," Negan smiles as he lifts her head off the ground. "Wait until Rick gets a look at you."


	14. Chapter 14

_Negan stares up at the ceiling as he lies on his cot. He plays over how he ended up here over and over in his mind. He'd only been locked up for two weeks, yet it had been hard. Staring at the same four walls, that same stupid ceiling with the crack in it, that one solitary window through which he can hear the residents of Alexandria living their lives._

_At first he'd been angry. How dare they continue on as if nothing had happened. As if he'd never existed. But then he'd quickly moved from anger to hate, and the hate had been directed at himself. He could have killed her, and how bitter it would have been to have ended her life with Lucille._

_Negan rolls onto his side, going through his daily routine of counting the bricks in the wall._

_He frowns at the sound of footsteps. "Fuck off, prick. I don't need my damn piss bucket emptying yet. I'll let you know next time i do a big steaming turd. I've got one cooking especially for you," he grumbles._

_"I see your sense of humour hasn't changed a bit."_

_Negan whips his head round so fast his neck cracks. "Rachel.. what are you doing here?"_

_She shrugs her shoulders, her head turned slightly to the right as she hides her scars. "Thought you could do with some company. Must be boring in here, staring at those same four walls."_

_Negan shrugs. "It's not so bad. I've got Rick waiting on me hand and foot like a little bitch," he smiles awkwardly._

_"I'll bet."_

_"Rachel, i told you not to come here."_

_"Since when have i ever done what i'm told?" She smiles._

_Negan shakes his head. "I don't want you here."_

_"I gross you out or something?" She jokes, and yet he can see there's an ounce of seriousness in it behind her smile._

_"Hey," Negan gets up from his cot, making his way over to the cell door. "Don't you ever fucking think that, okay. You're fucking beautiful, and i won't hear otherwise. So cut that shit out."_

_"Okay," she smiles, sitting down on the floor. "I brought you something, thought it might help you pass the time."_

_Negan looks down as she hands him a book through the bars. He holds it in his hands with a frown. "No porn?" He smirks._

_"Alexandria has a pretty basic selection of books at best, porn might be a little hard to find. I'm not sure Rick would allow it either," she giggles._

_That one giggle warms him up inside, the smile on her face sending an ache straight to his heart. An ache which he fights hard to push straight back down to his stomach. "Well thanks.. i guess."_

_"God you're so ungrateful," she frowns._

_"I'll fucking read it, nothing ungrateful about that," Negan says._

_They talk for hours. Negan beginning to wonder how he managed the last two weeks without her._

_As the sun becomes low in the sky, Rachel glances at her watch. "I have to go. I'm on guard duty. I can come back tomorrow though.. if that's okay?"_

_Negan stares at her, his heart telling him yes, and his head telling him no. "Sure," he smiles. "Just promise me one thing."_

_"What's that?"_

_Negan stretches his hand through the bars, placing it beneath her chin as he turns her to face him. "You'll stop hiding that from me," he nods at her scars._

_"Okay," Rachel smiles._

~

Rachel walks through the woods with her bow and arrow, following a trail. She'd been following it for the last hour, and the deer hadn't lead her too far from Alexandria.

She knows she's struggling because she can't think about anything other than Negan. He'd only been gone for two days, but to her it felt like a lifetime. Rachel shakes her head, trying to focus on the task at hand, but she can't shake the worry of what will happen if Daryl finds him.

~

Heath rides his horse close to the others near the border. "All clear?"

"Yeah," Dwight nods. "Still clear. How about all the other checkpoints?"

"Yep, they're all good," Heath says before he rides off.

Simon had sent out one of his best Saviors as a show of good faith, and she hadn't failed to disappoint Daryl with her gun skills as they'd come across the dead. "How much longer until Eugene gets the cell phones working?" She asks.

Penny, an Alexandrian, lifts her head from the telescopic sight with a frown. "Is that a thing he's working on? Or are you just joking?"

"She's joking, Kelly," Dwight smiles. "But i wouldn't put it past him. Eugene always has something cooking."

"How long are we gonna be doing this? Border patrols i mean," Kelly asks.

"Until Rick says so," Daryl says.

"Got a good book you're reading? What else would you be doing with your time?" Penny asks as she looks down the scope. "Fresh air, good company, nowhere else i'd rather be. Except maybe a warm bath," she smiles. "Wait.. i think i have something."

"Living or dead?" Dwight frowns.

"Can't tell yet," Penny says.

Daryl looks out in the distance, his face slowly dropping.

"Hello there! I come in peace!" Negan waves as he walks through the field towards them, a cloth bag hanging over his shoulder.

"Shoot him," Dwight says.

Penny glances up at Dwight. "What?"

"I said shoot him," Dwight frowns.

"Think you might put that rifle away?" Negan smiles. "I'm walking real fucking slow. My hands are right where you can fucking see them."

"I mean it. Shoot him now!" Dwight orders.

Daryl places his hand over the scope of the rifle. "Don't."

Dwight stares at him bemused. "What? What the hell?"

"He's unarmed, an Rick said not to," Daryl says.

Dwight steps close to Daryl with a frown. "You know him. You know how this is gonna end. Rick won't give two shits if you kill him."

Daryl drops his head. "Ain't doin it for Rick. We can't afford to lose Rachel."

"Who gives a shit about Rachel?!" Dwight yells.

"I do! She's family. An i ain't losin her again. So fuckin deal with it!" Daryl yells.

"Everything okay?" Negan smiles. "It's been a long time, Dwight. It's damn good to see you."

"Anyone followin you?" Daryl asks.

Negan's eyes drop to Dwight's rucksack, his heart pounding against his chest. "Lucille," he whispers at the sight of her. "Are you taking good care of her?" He asks, ignoring Daryl's question.

"Answer his damn question," Dwight frowns.

"I've been walking all night and all day. Not a fucking soul behind me. Now, are you taking good care of her?"

"It's a fucking baseball bat you lunatic," Dwight sneers as he turns around.

Negan reaches out his hand towards her.

"Don't even think about it," Daryl says as he aims his bow.

Negan smiles at Dwight. "You know i'll get her back. I've changed. You'll fucking see. You're going to fucking give her to me."

Dwight shakes his head. "Just keep walking. What's in the bag?"

"Something for Rick. It's dripping," Negan smirks.

~

Beta lifts his head and screams, though it's more growl than scream. He gazes down at Alpha's body, a tear rolling down the walker mask that covers his face.

"Did you find her?"

Beta turns his head towards the other three Whisperers.

"Alpha is dead?" The Whisperer asks.

"Was this Negan?" Another asks.

"Yes," Beta says.

"He is not here to claim his title," a woman says.

"Claim his.." Beta rises to his feet, towering above them. "I would _never_ allow it. He was not fit to be one of us. He clings to the old ways. I knew he was dangerous. I should have protected her."

"Then you are Alpha now?"

"No!" Beta yells. There will never be another Alpha. Not now, not ever! Alpha is no longer with us, but her words still guide us. She gave us her orders. They have crossed into our land. They have taken her life. Now they all die. But first.. Negan must pay. I am going to watch, and i will find the very thing he cares for, and i will take it from him!"

~

"It's really her?" Rick frowns as he looks down at the head on the floor.

"Of course it's her. You think i carry around a bunch of fucking Alpha look-a-likes in my damn asshole or some shit?" Negan frowns.

"Forgive me if i'm not quick to trust you one hundred percent," Rick points out.

"Why would you come back here?" Michonne asks.

Negan turns to her, shifting uncomfortably in his chair with his hands tied behind his back. "The same reason i stayed here when my cell was left open. To earn trust. I've been in your cell for close to two years. I've been the model fucking prisoner. How can i prove my rehabilitation in there? I fucking can't. You didn't kill me. You thought there was a better way. I fucking agree with you. I'm on fucking board, what more can i do to prove that?"

"And what about Brandon? He just collateral damage?" Rick frowns.

"Brandon released me. He wanted revenge on the Whisperers, and not just the Whisperers, he wanted revenge on you. Little shit was gonna fuck things up for all of us, get us all killed. I put a stop to that."

"You did no such thing," Rick sneers. "The Whisperers are aware you crossed their border. You've put us at risk."

"Bullshit. I was a lone man who could've come from anywhere. Your people who came after me almost blew my plan, that's what put you in danger. Had you never sent them, they'd never have known i had anything to do with you," Negan points out. "If i wanted to get revenge, think about the opportunity i just passed up. I could've become their fucking leader. I could've marched them the fuck down here and jammed up your fucking pee hole. Instead, i'm here offering up everything i learned. And i've literally took the head off their organisation."

Rick rubs at his temples as be takes a deep breath.

"Come on, Rick. You can't lock me back up after all this. Come the fuck on," Negan says.

"Don't push your luck," Michonne frowns.

"You will _never_ live within these walls. And you will _never_ gather or lead a group, no matter how small," Rick glances at Daryl and Dwight hovering near the door. "He can stay at the outpost just outside the walls."

Dwight goes to open his mouth and Daryl places a hand against his shoulder, shaking his head.

"You'll live there alone. You'll have only enough weapons to defend yourself. We'll give you food and supplies as long as you contribute," Rick says.

"Well this all sounds good, Rick," Negan smiles.

"You're not _getting_ this. Not yet. You're gonna have to earn it. You'll be watched at all times," Rick says.

"Well that doesn't sound creepy at all," Negan says sarcastically. Rick stares at him coldly. "Sorry, my bad."

"You'll be on the front lines against the Whisperers. Only when the coming conflict is ended will i consider this offer to you. One slip up, you shoot an unkind look in anyone's direction, and you're dead," Rick warns him.

"I'll take that deal! Show me where to fucking sign!" Negan smirks.

~

Daryl and Dwight stand outside the small house they'd been using as an outpost, barely half a mile from Alexandria.

"I'm sorry," Dwight says as he drops his head.

"What for?"

"What i said earlier, about Rachel. I didn't mean it. I've always thought she was alright, that she never belonged at the Sanctuary. I was just angry," Dwight says.

Daryl nods his head. "I know. I'm angry too."

"Do you really trust him?" Dwight gestures towards the house.

"Hell naw. I'd like nothin better than ta go in there right now an send an arrow straight through his skull," Daryl shakes his head. "But i can't. I gotta trust Rick. An i can't do that to Rachel. She'd never forgive me. I at least owe her the chance to prove me wrong with this asshole. Ain't gonna happen, he hasn't changed, and things are gonna get ugly. Minute that happens, we take him out, whether she likes it or not. But i owe her a chance. You good with that?"

"Sure," Dwight nods.


	15. Chapter 15

Rachel walks through the gates of Alexandria with a deer draped over her shoulders. Eugene stares at her awkwardly as he closes the gate behind her.

"You okay?" She frowns.

"You need to talk to Rick," he says.

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Just talk to Rick."

Rachel quickly drops the deer off with Joan, who had gotten much better at gutting and skinning and barely needed her help any longer.

She heads straight to Rick's house, stopping at the end of his yard as he sits on his porch.

"Eugene said you need to talk with me. What is it? Is it Negan? Is he.."

"Negan's fine," Rick says as he gets to his feet. "He came back a few hours ago."

"He did?" She asks, her throat dry.

Rick nods. "Yeah. He brought Alpha's head back with him."

"What? Where is He?"

"He's at the outpost half a mile from here," Rick says.

"You haven't locked him back up?" She asks in surprise.

"No." Rick steps towards her. "Tell me i'm not making a mistake. That he really _has_ changed and this isn't gonna bite me in the ass."

"I.. i can't tell you that. I want to believe it, that he's changed. I mean, he came back. He didn't have to, so that's got to mean something."

"Let's hope so." Rick nods. "He stays out there. I can't have him living inside these walls. And when the time comes for us to fight the Whisperers, he's gonna be on the frontline. He's agreed to it."

Rachel nods. "I need to go see him."

"I thought you might. I wish you wouldn't, but i guess i can't stop you."

"No, you can't," Rachel says as she turns to leave.

"Rachel. If he puts one foot wrong, there are no second chances. Do you understand?"

"Yes, i do."

~

Rachel almost races towards the outpost, her heart pounding as she nears the small house outside Alexandria.

Dwight leans against the front door as he smokes a cigarette, looking at Rachel with a frown. "Rick know you're here?"

"Yes, i just spoke with him."

Dwight nods. "Lose your weapons."

Rachel places her bow and arrows in front of him before she takes off her rucksack and belt. She goes to step forward then remembers the knife in her boot, placing it down with her other weapons.

"He doesn't deserve you," Dwight says as he steps aside.

~

Rachel walks shakily down the small hallway between the kitchen and lounge, her heart almost stopping in her chest as she turns her head towards the latter. Negan lies with his back to her, reading a book with his feet up on the sofa.

"Hi," she says.

Negan almost jumps off the sofa, tossing the book to one side. "Hey."

"You came back."

Negan tilts his head. "Of course i fucking did."

Rachel almost runs at him, Negan wrapping his arms around her as her lips collide with his. He lifts her off the ground, his fingers digging into the small of her back as he kisses her needily, his hand running up into her hair.

"Hmm, i haven't showered," she moans against his mouth.

"I don't fucking care," he groans, laying her down impatiently on the floor. Negan tugs at her panties greedily, his breath heavy as his cock rubs almost painfully against his pants.

Rachel unbuckles his belt, whimpering as she slips a hand inside his boxers. Negan growls in her ear as she runs a hand down his length, nipping his way down her neck. She pulls his t-shirt off, throwing it to one side before she runs her fingers down his back.

"Oh, fuck!" Negan growls as he slides into her.

Rachel claws at his shoulders, the ache in her body disappearing as he fills her completely. She rolls her hips, tipping her head back as he pulls at her hair.

"Rachel," he groans as she writhes beneath him, her walls sucking at his sensitive cock. Negan grabs her hip, trying his best to slow her down as he feels himself getting close. He shakes his head, his hips snapping against hers impatiently as he can hold it no longer. "Oh, Rachel! Fuck!" He cries out, losing his rhythm as he shoots his load inside her.

She feels his legs shaking, his entire body shaking in fact. "Negan? Did you just finish?" Rachel asks with a smile, yet as she feels his seed dripping between her thighs, she knows the answer.

"I'm sorry, baby," he mumbles into the crook of her neck. "I haven't had sex in almost two years. I almost came before i'd even got the fucker in." Rachel pouts as she wiggles her hips needily. "Don't look at me like that, you know i'll be good to go in a few minutes." He smiles, kissing the tip of her nose.

"You better be." She smiles.

Negan rolls off her, pulling her close to him as she rests her head against his chest, his fingers stroking her hair. "Fuck i've missed this."

"Me too." Rachel hums contentedly as she curls her fingers through his chest hair. "So what happened with the Whisperers?"

"They're a bunch of fucking weirdos. Couldn't wait to get the fuck outta there. I was planning to stay at least a week." Negan shakes his head. "But things got ugly."

"Well i'm glad you're back. I wasn't sure you _were_ coming back."

Negan strokes his fingers over her waist with a smile. "Then why didn't you come after me?"

"Maybe i was glad to see the back of you," she teases.

"You're a shitty liar." He chuckles. "Holy fuck, you weren't wrong about gianty mcdickface."

"Who?" She frowns.

"That Beta dude. I mean, i'm a big guy, but him.. i actually fucking shit myself a little when that creepy asshole stepped outta the shadows."

"I told you he was big."

"Well yeah, but i thought you were fucking over exaggerating. Short asses do that." He smiles.

Rachel lifts her head with a frown as she glances over at Negan's jacket on the sofa, his red scarf hanging off the arm. "How did you get that?"

Negan turns his head. "My jacket?"

"No, the scarf," Rachel says, resting her hands against his chest as she gazes down at him.

Negan chuckles. "You know _exactly_ where i got that bad boy from."

"You took it whilst i was sleeping? Why didn't you wake me?"

Negan rolls his eyes. "Because i knew you'd fucking insist on coming with me, and that was never gonna fucking happen. You looked real cute though, what with you sleeping in one of my old t-shirts." He smirks.

"Well that's creepy."

"I prefer the word sweet, but what the fuck ever." Negan smiles as he trails his fingers over her thigh. Rachel buries her head in his chest as he rolls his fingers over her clit. Negan raises an eyebrow as he brushes his fingers over her pubic hair. "Well that's new."

Rachel tenses her thighs. "Well, i wasn't expecting to get laid any time soon."

"Let me see." He smiles.

"No." She frowns, pushing her thighs together.

Negan rolls her onto her back, pinning her wrists to the floor. "Come on, baby. It's not like i haven't seen it before."

"Not like that you haven't. You can see it after i've had a nice, long shower and taken a razor to it."

"I wanna see." He smirks, biting on his bottom lip.

"Fine." She relents, relaxing her thighs a little.

Negan lowers his hand and lifts her skirt, grinning from ear to ear. "Holy fuck! It's like the seventies down there." He chuckles.

Rachel pushes her thighs back together, her cheeks going a shade of scarlet. "Well you should know."

"Owch! I forgot how sharp your comebacks are." He smiles. Negan pushes her thighs apart with his knee. "No need to be embarrassed, baby. I like it," he whispers as he ghosts his lips over her collar bone. "And little Negan _definitely_ fucking likes it," he groans as he presses his growing erection against her stomach.

Rachel tilts her head back as he tugs at the straps of her vest, her skin breaking out in gooseflesh. "Negan," she moans as he slowly thrusts into her. His fingers press into her thigh, no doubt leaving marks as he rolls his hips. Rachel runs her fingers through his hair as he nips at her neck, dragging his lips over her sensitive skin.

She'd forgotten how good it felt. To have his hands on her, to have his beard prickling against her skin, the heat of his body against hers. Rachel arches her back, her fingers clawing at his shoulders as Negan snaps his hips against hers, his breath heavy against her lips.

He kisses her fiercely, tugging at her hair as he picks up the pace, thrusting into her relentlessly. "You like that, baby?" He groans, once again struggling to hold back.

"Yes," she moans, her hips lifting up off the floor as she tenses her thighs, heat building in the pit of her stomach. "Negan, oh god!" Rachel pulls at his hair as her walls pulsate around his cock, her legs shaking as he continues to pound into her.

"That's it, baby. Fuck yeah!" Negan groans as he loses his rhythm, thrusting into her haphazardly as he meets his own release once again. "Oh, shit," he whispers breathlessly, resting his head against her chest as he struggles to catch his breath. "I've fucking missed this pussy." Negan smiles contentedly.

"We should get up off this floor before Dwight walks in."

"Dwight can fuck right fucking off."

"We can't lie here all day, Negan."

"Who says we fucking can't?"

"We've got a war to fight in, and we're both going to be on the frontline," she points out.

Negan lifts his head from her chest, gazing down at her with a protective glint in his eyes. "I don't like the sound of that. It's one thing Rick putting _me_ on the frontline, but _you_.. fuck no."

"Well it's not your choice to make," Rachel says as she strokes his face.

Negan brushes his nose against hers, his hands cupping her cheeks. "I'm not fucking losing you."

"And you won't. We've got each other's backs. Now come on," she pats his shoulder. "I'm pretty sure i just heard voices out there. Daryl definitely won't appreciate walking in on us like this."

~

Rachel had reluctantly left Negan, respecting Rick's wishes that Negan should live alone, but she'd at the very least gone home with a smile on her face.

Just as she was about to head upstairs, she turns as someone knocks at her door. Rachel opens the door, Daryl standing with his hair hanging over his face.

"Hey, what's up?" She asks, stepping out onto the porch when he seems unwilling to enter her house.

"Rick's ordered a meetin for tomorrow at the church. I'm guessin it's ta tell us what we gon do next."

"Okay. What do _you_ think he should do next?"

Daryl shrugs his shoulders. "Ain't like anythin we've fought before. We're probably gon lose a lotta people, an for what? Some douchebags dressed up as walkers." He shakes his head.

Rachel nods in agreement. "I know what you mean. This seems so pointless. I mean, all war is pointless, but this even more so. We're going to lose people over a bunch of weirdos who have a warped view of the world."

"I wish there were a way we could take em all out right now, stop us having ta fight."

"I know." She nods sombrely. As he turns to head down the steps, Rachel places a hand against his shoulder. "Thank you."

Daryl stares at her in confusion. "For what?"

Rachel tilts her head. "Negan. I know how hard it must have been.. to not put an arrow in him. I'm grateful."

He shrugs his shoulders. "We can't afford to lose ya. We gon need ya in this fight."

"Maybe he'll prove his place," she says.

Daryl snorts, shaking his head. "If ya think that then you're a bigger fool than Rick. I let him live for _you_ , no other reason than that. He'll either turn on us first chance he gets, or he'll run. An if i catch him doin that, it'll be the end of him."

"He won't."

"Guess we'll see soon enough," Daryl says.


	16. Chapter 16

Negan lowers his hand towards Rachel's ass, his fingers sliding beneath her skirt. She bats his hand away.

"Stop that," she whispers. "Someone might see."

"I don't give a fuck." he smiles, brushing his nose against her ear. "How about we get the fuck outta here?"

"This meeting is important," Rachel says, her skin breaking out in gooseflesh as his beard prickles her ear.

"Come the fuck on, we know what Rick the prick is gonna say. It's a fucking war, sweetheart, and he wants us on the front line. It's not like they're gonna notice if we're not here."

"They will, and that's not the point," Rachel says.

"The hell's he doin here?" Daryl frowns.

Negan lifts his mouth from her ear. "Rick asked me to come, what with me being on the front fucking line an all," he says with a smirk.

Daryl turns to Rachel. "Couldn't ya have just told him how the meetin went? Ya didn't have ta bring him."

Rachel opens her mouth, but Negan steps forward, squaring up to Daryl. "Hey, like i just said. Rick asked me to come. What's your fucking problem?"

"My problem is _you_ don't belong here."

"I beg to fucking differ, since i'm the one who brought back their leader's head as a show of solidarity," Negan says with a frown, his fists clenched by his sides.

Rachel wraps her fingers round the top of his arm, gently pulling him back. "Negan, don't."

"Ya best put a leash on him, remember what i said bout him stepping outta line," Daryl says.

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" Negan almost growls.

Rachel tightens her grip. "That's enough, from the both of you." They stare at her, their eyebrows raised. "Rick wanted him to be here, and so he's here. Just.. stop trying to bait him," she says to Daryl. "And you stop rising to it." Rachel frowns as she looks up at Negan.

Negan throws her a hurt look, his jaw clenched as he turns away from her, his bottom lip pouting slightly.

Rick steps through the doors of the church, making his way down the aisle with the help of his cane. He stands before the strongest of his people, or in Eugene's case, the smartest.

"You all know why you're here. We're going to war. I wish i could be out there fighting it with you, but.." Rick glances down at his leg.

"My bad," Negan says with a chuckle. All heads turn towards him briefly, most of them not amused, least of all Rick. "Sorry.. bad timing." Negan clears his throat. "Continue."

"Some of you might die. Take a look at the person to your left, because you might never see them again," Rick says.

Negan looks down at Rachel, his stomach rolling at the sudden realisation of how serious this is, and he regrets his little joke at Rick's expense.

"I hope it doesn't come to that," Rick continues. "You're all capable of living through this. But you've gotta work together. We're not the only ones fighting this war. Hilltop, the Kingdom.. the Saviors." A few moans come from the crowd, Rick nodding his head. "I know how you all feel about the Saviors, things have always been strained. But that stops _now_. If we don't fight this war _together_ , then we'll lose. We need _all_ the communities. Jesus is gonna be leading Hilltop, Jerry for the Kingdom, and Simon for the Saviors."

"Who's leading Alexandria?" Someone shouts out. "Since you're not on the front line."

"Daryl," Rick answers.

"And what's he doing here?" A woman sneers as she gestures towards Negan. "Have you forgotten what he did to us?"

 _Fuck they hate me_ , Negan thinks. And it bothers him that it.. bothers him. He feels Rachel's hand in his, her thumb brushing over his fingers.

"No, i haven't," Rick assures her. "One of our own people broke him out, and yet he came back. He didn't have to. He could've just kept on running. I've given him one chance to prove himself, to prove he's changed. We've all.. done things." Rick drops his head for a moment, not quite believing the words coming out of his own mouth. "I've killed people who didn't deserve it, but i justified it with the belief that i was doing it for my people, to keep them alive. But i didn't _have_ to.. i did it because i _wanted_ to. Because it was easier. It shouldn't be easy. I.." Rick clenches his jaw, Glenn and Abraham's faces flashing through his mind. "I have more reason than most to just end him, and it'd be easy. But we're not doing that. That's not who we are. That's not who i want us to be. If anyone can't get on board with that, then feel free to leave this meeting right now and head back home." Silence fills the room, and Rick nods, looking at the sea of faces.

Rachel watches him with a smile on her face, Daryl and Dwight not so much.

"You're gonna head out in an hour, and meet with the other groups. Daryl will tell you where you need to be. Put your trust in him. Follow him out there like you follow me," Rick says.

~

Alexandria meet with the other communities at the border the Whisperers had set. The wooden pikes remain, serving as a reminder of what the Whisperers had done, and what they were all fighting for.

"So what the fuck are we doing?" Negan frowns as he gets off the back of a horse drawn cart. "We just waiting around till those skin suit weirdos show up?"

Daryl turns to Gabriel, ignoring Negan's question. "Ya see that tower, i want ya on look out," Daryl says as he hands him a radio. "Ya see anythin, holler."

Gabriel nods, heading in the direction of the tower a couple of miles away.

"I'll take that as a fucking yes then," Negan says. "Do i at least get a gun?"

"Hell no." Daryl frowns.

"Daryl, how is he supposed to fight without a gun?" Rachel asks.

"He's got a knife. Pretty sure he knows how ta use it," Daryl sneers.

"Daryl-" Rachel starts.

Negan holds up a hand. "No, it's fine. If he wants to be a funny fucker, then that's fine by me. I can go hand to hand with these skin suit weirdos. I'm a tough mother fucker. Be much better once i get my baby back though," Negan says, glancing over at Lucille hanging from Dwight's backpack.

"Rachel!"

Rachel turns to see a grinning Simon holding out his arms. She walks over with a smile, hugging him briefly. "Good to see you, Simon. I feel a lot safer knowing you're here."

"Well that's good to know, since me and my people keep getting nothing but funny looks from everyone else. Anyone would think they didn't want us here," he says, his hand resting against her shoulder.

"They'll realise how much they need you here once they see you in action." She smiles.

Negan clears his throat loudly, beginning to feel like a third wheel.

"Negan," Simon says, his eyes widening slightly. He has to remind himself not to kneel, as his knee automatically goes to bend at the sight of him. "So the rumours are true. It's damn good to see you." He smiles.

"You sure about that? Since you're currently where i was not long ago." Negan raises an eyebrow. Simon opens his mouth, not sure how to respond. "I'm fucking with you Simon," Negan says with a smile. "How are things at the Sanctuary? You keeping people in line?"

Simon nods, relaxing a little. "Yeah. Things are different to how they were. But we're still the most badass community out of this sorry looking bunch.. no offence," he says as he glances at Rachel.

"None taken," she says, waving her hand.

"I gotta go, Daryl said he wanted to talk strategies," Simon says, rolling his eyes. "I'll see you two later."

Negan watches as he walks away, his brow furrowed. "Rachel. I may be a tough fucker, but my knife isn't gonna win against a gun."

"I'll talk to Daryl. But if it comes down to it then i'll cover you, you know i will."

Negan runs a hand over his beard. "Yeah, i know you fucking will, but i don't fucking want it that way. It should be the other fucking way around."

Rachel rests a hand against her hip, looking up at him with a smile. "You're starting to sound a little sexist there. Do you not think i'm capable or something?"

"Come the fuck on, Rachel. There's fuck all wrong with wanting to protect your woman."

"Your woman?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

Negan steps closer, snaking a hand around her waist. "Yes. _My_ woman. Which is what you fucking are."

"Am i now?" She smiles, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck.

"You most certainly fucking are," he whispers against her mouth, dragging his bottom lip over hers.

"Hey." They both turn their heads at the sound of Daryl's voice. "Ain't none a that happenin here. We got a war ta fight."

"Yes, Dad," Negan says as he rolls his eyes. "Cock blocking fucker," he mumbles under his breath.

"He's got a point. We need to stay focused," Rachel says. "There'll be time for that after."

~

Gabriel stands on top of the tower, a rifle in his hands. He looks through the scope every minute or so, keeping an eye out for any sign of the Whisperers. From here, he can see his people at the border. Gabriel smiles at the sight of all four communities working together.

He hears it before he sees it. "What the?" Gabriel frowns, looking down the scope of his rifle. "Oh shit!" The Whisperers, and a herd of the dead with them, slowly making their way towards the army of communities. Gabriel scrambles towards the ladder, panic setting in as he presses his thumb against the radio. "They're here! They're heading for.." Gabriel slips, falling from the tower. He lets out a blood curdling scream as his leg gets caught in the ladder, but there's no sound as sickening as his leg snapping at the ankle, his bone protruding through the skin as he hangs barely a foot from the ground.

~

"Gabe? What was that?" Daryl frowns.

"Sounds like he's hurt," Rachel says, her heart pounding against her chest. "I'm going to the tower."

"No. We need ya here. Gabe can take care of himself," Daryl says.

"Daryl, you heard that scream as well as i did. He's hurt. Come on, Negan," she says.

"Yain't takin him with ya," Daryl says, stepping in front of them.

"I might as well for what use he is here, what with him not having a gun. This is Gabriel." Rachel frowns.

"Alright. But once ya get Gabe back ta Alexandria, i need ya straight back here. From the sounds of it, the Whisperers are comin."

Rachel nods, running over to the horses. "Can you ride a horse?" She asks Negan.

"Course i fucking can. I can ride fucking anything." He smirks.

~

Turns out he can't. Negan figured it'd be like riding a bike, except that concept only worked if you'd actually ridden a bike before, and Negan had never ridden a horse in his life. He holds on for dear life as Rachel races ahead of him, and it occurs to him that this is the first time in a long time that he's felt genuine fear. Jesus fucking Christ! Negan winces as his balls squish into the saddle with every step it takes. He figures it's a good thing that Daryl's put a kabosh on him getting laid, as he probably wouldn't be able to use his dick for a good while anyway.

Rachel glances over at Negan with a frown. His knuckles are white as he holds onto the reins, and his teeth are bared as if in pain. She grabs the reins from his hands, bringing both their horses to a stop. Rachel watches him breath a sigh of relief. "I thought you said you could ride?"

Negan shakes his head, rubbing at his crotch. "Nope.. thought it'd be a piece of piss."

"Jesus Christ, Negan. Come on, get on the back," she says, gesturing towards her own horse.

Negan hops off, reluctantly pulling himself up and sitting behind her. "Sorry," he says a little shamefully.

"Well let's just hope Gabe's alright," she says with a frown before setting off again, Negan gripping her waist tightly.

It takes not much more than a minute before they come close to the tower, and the sound of the dead fills their ears.

"Rachel, i don't fucking like this, those fuckers sound close," Negan says, his throat dry and the ache in his balls quickly forgotten.

"I.." Rachel's eyes widen as they come within sight of the tower. "Oh, Jesus!" She stops the horses a few feet from the ladder before she jumps off and runs towards it.

Negan is right behind her, his own eyes widening as he looks at the mess that is Gabriel's leg as he hangs from the ladder. "Baby." Negan places a hand on her shoulder. "I'm not sure we can help him."

She shrugs his hand away, checking Gabriel's pulse. Rachel flinches as his eyes flicker open, his face grey as sweat pours down his temples.

"Rachel? Oh God, please help me," Gabriel pleads with her.

"Help me get him down," Rachel says.

"Rachel, i can hear them coming," Negan says.

"This isn't a debate!" Rachel snaps.

Negan takes a deep breath, running a hand over his beard. "Alright," he says as he takes off his scarf. "Tie that round his leg. I'll get his shoulders, you're gonna have to pull his foot out." Rachel nods as she grabs his scarf and climbs the ladder. Negan throws Gabriel a pitiful look as he supports his shoulders. "She's a better person than me, Gabe. I would've just put you out of your fucking misery."

Gabriel nods with a grimace, crying out as she ties the scarf around his leg. He looks at Negan with a weak smile. "She's making you a better man."

Negan raises an eyebrow. "You've been upside down for too long, blood must've gone straight to your head talking bullshit like that."

"You may have a point, i feel like i'm gonna pass out again.. doesn't mean i'm wrong though."

"Gabe! You ready?!" Rachel shouts.

"No! But go ahead!" He answers, bracing himself. Gabriel screams as his foot comes loose, Negan keeping a firm grip on his shoulders as Rachel holds his leg up. Luckily for them, they don't have to endure the sickening sound of his screams much longer, as he passes out once again.

"Help me get him on the horse," she says.

Negan wants to tell her they don't have time, but he knows she won't listen, so he helps her.

"You're going to have to try riding that horse. I'll keep hold of the reins," she says as she mounts hers. "Just hold the fuck on."

He nods, unable to think of anything worse right now than doing that very thing.


	17. Chapter 17

They had made good time, in spite of Negan's inability to ride a horse. Negan and Rachel ride through the gates of Alexandria, Negan jumping off his horse gratefully.

"Janet! Run ahead to Carson. Tell him Gabe's got a severe compound fracture and he's lost a lot of blood," Rachel says.

Negan grabs Gabriel from the horse, carrying him over one shoulder.

"What the hell happened?" Rick frowns as he walks over.

"He was on look out, fell from the tower," she says as she hurries towards the infirmary. "We can't stay. The others need us. Do we have another horse cart?"

"Yeah. But what do you need it for? You've got two horses."

" _Someone_ can't ride a horse." Rachel gestures towards Negan.

"Hey," Negan steps out of the infirmary. "I thought i'd get the fucking hang of it, okay."

"I'm on it," Rick says.

~

They ride down the road, Negan sitting beside Rachel on the cart.

"Rachel."

"Yeah?"

"Do you really wanna go back there?"

She turns to him with a frown. "What are you talking about?"

"We know what's ahead. A whole fuck load of mess. We keep going that way, maybe we die? We could take the next turn we see, ride the fuck on outta here," Negan says.

Rachel brings the horses to a stop, staring at him with wide eyes. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about us not dying for a bunch of skin wearing freaks."

She gets down from the cart, crossing her arms as she stares at the road ahead. "Why did you come back?"

"Why the fuck do you think? I came back for you."

"So you don't give a shit about these people?" Rachel frowns.

"Why the fuck should i? What the fuck did they ever do for me?" Negan says as he gets down off the cart.

"I thought you wanted to make this work?"

He rubs at his temples. "Do you wanna die? Is that it?"

"No, i want to live. And we can't do that on our own." Negan places a hand against her shoulder, but she shrugs it off. "If you don't want to be here, then don't be here. Take that cart, and don't look back," she says, her throat thick as she chokes back tears.

Negan rolls his eyes. "There's no need to be so fucking dramatic."

"This isn't a fucking joke, Negan! These are my people! And i won't turn my back on them!" She yells, wiping at her eyes. "All this time, and you still don't know me."

"The fuck i don't," he frowns.

"If you knew me, then you wouldn't have even suggested leaving."

"That's fucking bullshit! And you goddamn know it! I wanna leave, because i fucking know you all too well!" Negan shouts, his face an angry shade of red and the veins in his neck fit to burst. "Sooner or later, you'll put your fucking ass on the line, like you did with Gabe, and it'll cost you your fucking life. And i won't fucking have that! I can't fucking lose you! You hear me?!" Negan turns away from her as he wipes at his eyes, his jaw clenched. Rachel comes up behind him, slowly wrapping her arms around his waist, her head resting against his back. "I can't lose you, Rachel. You're.. you're too fucking important to me."

"I'd die for you, Negan. You know that, right?"

Negan drops his head. "I don't want you to fucking die for me."

"Tough. You don't get to make that decision. My people are important to me."

Negan turns to her, lifting his hand to her face and stroking the scar on her temple. "Why? Half of them shun you. And who's fucking fault is that? I don't deserve you," he says, rolling his thumb over the tiger stripe scars on her cheek. "This is what i do. I destroy everything i fucking touch."

"There's no need to be so dramatic." Rachel smiles. "Are you with me?"

"Of course i'm fucking with you. Where the fuck else would i be? I just wish we weren't fucking heading into a war."

"Well we are," she says, pressing her lips softly against his, her fingers curling through the back of his hair. "I love you, Negan," Rachel whispers against his mouth. "I wish i didn't. I'm a strong woman, but the way i feel about you.. it makes me feel helpless. Sometimes i ache so much for you i can barely breathe. Can you imagine?"

He brushes his nose against hers, running his hands through her hair. "I can."

"Don't let me be weak. I don't want to run away from this. I can't.. i won't. I need you right by my side, fighting this war with me."

"I _am_ right by your side, baby. Doesn't mean i have to fucking like it though."

~

They arrive at the border, both of them surprised to see the communities sitting around, not a Whisperer in sight.

"What happened?" Daryl asks as he makes his way over.

"Gabe fell from the tower, hurt his leg pretty bad. He said he saw the Whisperers," Rachel says with a frown. "You haven't seen them?"

Daryl shakes his head. "Ain't seen shit."

"Well they were definitely headed this way, we heard them, nearly didn't get Gabe out of there in time." Rachel says.

"You sure?" Daryl frowns.

"She's sure," Negan says. "I wanted to leave Gabe behind. Fuckers were right behind us."

"Course _you_ wanted ta leave him behind," Daryl scowls.

"Hey. Let's not forget that you didn't want her to go check on him in the first fucking place. Then where would he be? I'll tell you where, hanging by his foot with his insides hanging out most likely. Dead would've made a real good meal outta him. So keep _that_ on your fucking conscience before you start throwing shit at me."

Daryl turns away from him, his jaw clenched. "Did you get him back safe?"

"Yes. I don't know whether he'll make it though. Gabe lost a lot of blood," Rachel says. "Right now, i'm more concerned with where the Whisperers are. We don't even have a look out anymore."

"You said they didn't have many guns," Daryl turns to Negan.

"No. I didn't fucking say that. I said i didn't see many. Just because i didn't see them, doesn't mean they don't fucking have them," Negan points out.

"I'll make sure everyone's alert," Daryl says before walking off.

Negan looks out towards the woods, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "What if those fuckers are out there right now? They could be watching us."

"Well there's not much we can do about it if they are. Let's just hope they don't have many guns."

"Like i'm gonna be much fucking help anyway, might as well.." Negan raises an eyebrow as Rachel appears deep in thought. "What is it?"

"You hear that?"

Negan stares at her with a frown, then his eyes widen. "Yeah, i fucking do."

"They're on us!" Daryl shouts. "Everyone in position! Draw your weapons!"

Negan and Rachel run over towards the others, Rachel taking the gun from her belt.

"What the fuck am _i_ supposed to do?" Negan frowns.

"Just stay right by me. Any of them get close, use your knife," she says.

"But how the fuck do-"

"Negan. I'm relying on you to watch my back."

He nods, drawing his knife. "Ain't none of these skin suit weirdos getting anywhere near you, baby." Negan looks up, getting his first glimpse of the Whisperers as they come at them from all directions. "Fuck. I can't tell them apart from the dead. Make sure you get head shots, baby."

"They don't have guns!" Dwight yells. "Aim for their heads! Can't tell them from the dead!"

Negan turns to him with a frown. "You basically just repeated what _i_ said. Not got any fucking words of your own?"

"Shut the hell up," Dwight sneers.

Negan stares almost lovingly at Lucille hanging from Dwight's backpack, fighting the urge to stretch out his arm and just take her. The sound of gunshots fills his ears, Negan growing increasingly frustrated as he stands there with just his knife. "I'm about as fucking useful as a second hand condom!" He yells, crossing his arms as the others continue firing. Negan ducks as a bullet flies past his ear. "Shit! Guess at least some of them have fucking guns!"

"Stay down!" Rachel shouts. "You cover me if they get close enough!" No sooner are the words out of her mouth, than Negan feels a hand grabbing at his shoulder. Rachel aims her gun.

"No, baby! I got this fucker! About time i got some fucking action!" He smirks, grappling with the dead or living fuck that had tried to grab him. Plunging his knife through it's skull, he's a little disappointed to see it's one of the dead. Negan watches as Rachel reloads her gun, then he turns towards the others, hoping to find someone in need so he doesn't feel so useless. He's in luck, and a smirk crosses his face as he watches Dwight attempt to fight off two Whisperers. A small part of him debates just leaving him to it, thinking Dwight wouldn't do the same for him. Dwight would be more likely to push him towards the enemy than save him from them. But as Negan glances at Rachel, he lets out a deep breath and makes his way over to Dwight.

Dwight watches as one of the Whisperers drops down beside him, and the second collapses down against him. He looks up as Negan pulls the body off him, grinning from ear to ear. Negan offers his hand. Dwight stares at it as if it were a snake ready to bite. He reluctantly takes Negan's hand, standing to his feet. "Don't go thinking this changes anything."

Negan rolls his eyes. "Course not. Not like i saved your fucking life or anything." He turns towards Rachel once again, running in her direction as the dead get too close for his liking. They _are_ dead though, and he puts them down quickly with little effort.

Daryl runs out of bullets, taking the crossbow from his shoulders and aiming at the approaching dead. He falls forward, struggling to take a breath as the wind is knocked out of him.

Negan glances at Rachel once again, ensuring she's safe before he looks over at Daryl. He runs over without a second thought, tripping as a walker grabs at his ankle. "Fuck!" Negan snarls, taking his knife and impaling the dead thing's skull. He pulls at the knife, his eyes wide as the handle comes away in his hand. "Shit! I don't have a fucking weapon!" He yells as he gets to his feet, racing towards Daryl who's now struggling with not one, but two Whisperers.

"Here!" Dwight shouts.

Negan turns to him, his mouth agape as Dwight throws Lucille in his direction. He catches her in his gloved hand, holding her above his head with an almost sadistic grin. "I fucking knew you'd come home to me, baby." Negan swings Lucille into the back of the Whisperer's head, knocking them off their feet before he grabs the other by the back of his jacket, pulling him away from Daryl. He brings his foot down into the Whisperer's ribs, his eyes alight as he hears the bones crunch beneath his boot.

Daryl gets to his feet, glancing at Negan quickly and giving him the briefest of nods before shooting an arrow at an approaching walker.

Negan makes his way back towards Rachel, a content smile on his face. He stands there with his two favourite girls, Lucille once again making him feel complete as she hangs from his arm. Looking over the battlefield, an unmistakable shadow looms in the distance. "Oh, fuck yeah! Wait till you get a taste of Lucille, cunty mcdickface!"

Beta turns in Negan's direction as he approaches, an oversized knife in each hand. It was too soon. They'd had no intention of attacking them so early, but the dead had become restless, so they'd had no choice. He'd wanted to watch, and learn, and take whatever Negan prized dearest. But he won't run from a coward such as this. If Negan dies now, then so be it.

Negan leads with his boot, Beta dodging him quite easily. He kicks out at Negan, knocking him to the ground as if he were no more than a troublesome fly. Beta brings down his knives as Negan brings Lucille up, the blades getting caught in the wood and barbs.

"I will enjoy squashing you like a bug," Beta sneers.

Rachel had switched to her arrows, having run out of bullets. She looks by her side, her eyes widening briefly as she sees Negan isn't there. "Negan?" Looking off in the distance, her stomach rolls as she sees Beta hovering above him, the only thing between him and Negan being Lucille. Her surprise at seeing Negan with Lucille is fleeting as she races towards them, unable to get a shot with her arrow.

Negan brings his knee up into Beta's crotch, and in spite of Beta's size, he drops like a sack of shit, wincing as he falls to his knees. "Let's show him how it's done, baby," Negan says with a smile as he raises her in the air. He brings Lucille down against Beta's shoulders with a crack. The crack however comes from Lucille as she breaks down the middle, the barbwire unravelling as she splinters into pieces.

Rachel stands still in the distance, her eyes wide as she watches half of Lucille drop to the ground, nothing more than a mess of wood and barbwire.

Negan holds what's left of her in his hand, his face a picture of disbelief. "What?" He whispers, his throat dry. "How? What just?" Negan shakes his head, tears rolling down his cheeks as he tilts his head back. "Noooo!" He screams.


	18. Chapter 18

The Whisperers had retreated, having little or no ammo left, and now the border was filled with the cries of the injured. They'd lost surprisingly few people, five to be exact, but there were over a dozen injured. As a doctor from Hilltop finishes patching those up who are able to carry on, he makes his way with the injured towards Alexandria, protected by one of the Saviors in case they should meet trouble on the road.

Negan had been in the same spot since Lucille had met her end. Knelt on the grass, his head hung low as he stares at what's left of her.

"Negan," Rachel says softly, placing a hand against his shoulder. He flinches at her touch, yet makes no move as if to send her away. She kneels down beside him, watching as a tear rolls down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

The others had shook their heads at his reaction, but she knew what Lucille was to him. Simon had glanced over, knowing the same as she did. That Lucille was much more than just a bat, so much more.

"Jesus, Negan. It's just a bat. Pull yourself together," Dwight frowns.

Negan looks up at him, his eyes dark and his jaw clenched as he goes to make a move towards him.

Rachel keeps a firm grip on his arm. "Fuck off, Dwight!" She snaps, staring at him coldly. Dwight walks away somewhat sheepishly, mirroring Daryl as he hides behind his hair. "Negan. Tell me what you want me to do."

Negan shakes his head, picking up Lucille as he rises to his feet, cradling her in his arms. "I need to be alone," he barely whispers, heading towards the woods.

"Hey, where's he goin?" Daryl frowns.

Rachel holds out her arm, blocking Daryl's path. "I'll go after him in a minute. Just leave him."

"If he does somethin, ya know-"

"Daryl." Rachel holds up a hand. "Just don't, okay."

~

Negan had struggled to dig a shallow grave using a pick axe one of the Whisperers had left behind. He sits in front of her resting place, picking at the dirt beneath his nails.

Rachel watches Negan through the trees, her heart aching for him.

"Lucille. I.. i'm sorry, baby." Negan says, wiping at his eyes. "God i miss you so fucking much. I never got to bury you before. I know this isn't the same. I'm.. i'm sorry i never truly put you to rest. I was weak, baby. I just.. i couldn't do it. I hope you're at peace. I hope you're in heaven, and that you fell in love with someone who treats you a whole fuck load better than i did. And i hope they're fucking your brains out and then fucking them back in on a daily basis," he says with a smile. "I'll always miss you, Lucille. I'm sorry i named a stupid fucking baseball bat after you."

"Negan," Rachel whispers as she steps forward.

He jumps a little as he turns on his head. For a moment, he'd thought it was Lucille.

"I'm sorry. I know you said you wanted to be alone," Rachel says.

Negan shakes his head as he gets to his feet. "No, it's okay. I'm glad you're here."

Rachel steps closer, taking his hand in hers. "There's something i need to show you. Will you come with me?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Shouldn't we be getting back? Daryl will be having a fucking aneurysm as we speak."

"It's not far. Won't take us long," she says.

~

They had walked for twenty minutes in the direction of Alexandria, Negan asking every five minutes where they were going.

Rachel comes to a stop, standing in front of a small rose bush.

"The fuck is this?" Negan frowns. "Don't tell me we've come all this way for a damn rose bush."

Rachel squeezes his hand before she lets it go, her fingers clasped together nervously. "Do you remember the talks that we had, in your cell?"

"Vividly," Negan says, his jaw clenched.

Rachel plays with her hands, her head hung low as she gazes at the ground. "You.. you told me about Lucille, and what happened to her. Well, i went far out, about six months after you got locked up. It was when we had that dry spell with food, so we got pushed out further and further. I went on my own, and.. i drove through the town you talked about. I'll not lie, i intended on doing that at some point anyway."

"Why? Why the fuck would you go there?" Negan asks, his heart beating a little faster.

"I went to the hospital, and i found her." Negan looks at her, his eyes wide. "I was real gentle," Rachel assures him. "I brought her here. And i buried her. Planted that little rose bush. I.. i thought she might like it."

As Rachel gazes up at him, she's unsure, tears filling his eyes as his lip trembles. Just as she prepares for him to yell, Negan wraps his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest, his hand cupping the back of her head.

"I.. i can't believe you did that," he stutters, tears falling down the blade of his nose. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't sure how you would feel about it. I thought maybe you would get angry, because maybe it wasn't my place.

Negan's grip on her tightens, his chin resting atop her head. "Are you kidding? You've done something that i _never_ would've been strong enough to do. You gave her the burial she fucking deserved." He takes his arms from around her, resting his hands against Rachel's shoulders as he looks her in the eye. "Why? Why the fuck would you do that for me? Or Lucille for that matter?"

"Because you loved her, and she mattered to _you_. But.. i did do it for her too. I'm completely in love with her husband." Rachel smiles. "I feel like i owe her."

He runs his fingers through her hair, his thumb brushing against her cheek as the corners of his lips creep up into a smile. "I really don't fucking deserve you." Negan whispers, pressing his lips softly against hers.

~

They make their way through the woods, heading back towards the border. Negan slips his hand around Rachel's waist, pulling her into him.

"What are you doing?" She smiles.

He gazes down at her with a smile, his lids heavy with lust. "What's it look like?" Negan whispers, brushing his nose against hers.

"We need to head back," she says, a low moan escaping her as he drags his bottom lip over her neck.

"Hmm, we should," Negan groans, tugging her hair as he nips at her throat.

Rachel claws at his leather clad shoulders, her breath heavy as shivers run through her body, her legs becoming weak. "Negan," she moans.

His hands around her waist, he lowers her to the ground, kissing her needily. Rachel lowers her hand, unbuckling his belt eagerly as she lifts her hips. Negan tugs at her panties, pulling them down her legs as she opens his zip.

"Fuck i want you," he groans, biting on her bottom lip as he teases the head of his cock between her thighs. "Look at you, all wet for me." Negan smirks, rolling his throbbing cock over her clit. She writhes beneath him, heat building in her stomach as Negan brushes over her sensitive nerves. He slides deliciously inside her, her walls clenching around him as he slowly fills her inch by inch, his cock dripping with her juices.

Rachel grabs a handful of his hair, whimpering lightly as he fills her completely. God he feels good. She knew the others would be wondering where they are, maybe even be needing their help. But as he fucks her slow, his hips grinding against hers taking her dangerously close to the edge, the others couldn't be further from her mind. Negan ghosts his lips over her collarbone, her entire body breaking out in gooseflesh. "Oh, god," Rachel moans, her thighs tensing as she lifts her hips up to meet his thrusts.

His fingertips press firmly into her waist, most likely leaving marks as he pushes her hips down to the ground. Negan gazes into her eyes, brushing her hair from her face as he rolls his hips. He nips at her jaw, his beard prickling against her flushed skin as he trails his fingers down her thigh, his jaw clenched as he struggles to hold back. "Fuck, baby. You feel so good," Negan whispers against her mouth.

Rachel arches her back, his fingers tugging at her vest strap as he grazes her shoulder with his teeth, his hand splayed between her shoulder blades, pressing his body firmly against hers. How she'd ached for him over the years, and here he was, his body flush against hers, and yet it wasn't enough. She pulls down the zip on his jacket, shuffling it down his arms and dropping it to one side. Rachel tugs at his shirt, pulling it up over his head, her fingers curling through his chest hairs as she parts his lips with hers, her tongue forcing it's way into his mouth. She smirks as he lets out a groan, his cock twitching inside her as his breath becomes heavy.

Negan pulls her vest down to her stomach, her exposed nipples erect as he rolls his tongue in circles over them. He palms one breast as he takes the other into his mouth, working his way over her greedily as he thrusts slowly but firmly into her. Rachel wraps her legs around Negan's waist, and as she tightens around his cock, he lets out a groan so needy that she feels the knot inside herself unwind so suddenly that her body convulses, her orgasm shooting through her like white lightning. "Negan!" Rachel moans, her walls clenching around him.

"Oh, fuck!" Negan groans, hair hanging over his forehead in loose, slick curls as he loses his rhythm.

As they lie there a while, breathing in one another's air, neither is aware they have an audience. An audience of one, but an audience all the same, as Beta watches them, his lips slowly curling up in the corners.

Beta couldn't care less for their display, getting no pleasure from it like most men would. Unlike the other Whisperers, he had no desire or need to take women by force, even though he knows he'd be more capable than the others of taking what he wanted without a fight. What he wants, is for Negan to pay. Beta had worshipped Alpha, she'd been his everything, his world. Negan had taken her from him. So as he'd watched Negan make love to his woman, he'd grinned, a sadistic glint in his eyes.

When Negan had first turned up at their camp, it had irked Beta that Negan had reminded him of someone, yet he couldn't quite put his finger on who. He should've known it was her, they mirrored one another beautifully now that he thought about it. They'd both irritated him immensely when he'd come across them individually, what with their sarcasm and inability to shut up. Oh, how doubly rewarding it would be to take out that smart-mouthed bitch, and the only thing that Negan loves at the very same time. How easy and satisfying to snap her like a twig, right in front of his very eyes.

~

"The hell have you two been?" Daryl frowns as Rachel and Negan step out of the woods.

"We went for a walk," Rachel says.

"A walk, uh?" Negan smiles before she digs him in the ribs.

"Seriously? When we've got a war goin on?" Daryl asks.

"Did anything happen whilst we were gone?" Rachel questions.

"Naw."

"Well then there's no harm done, is there?" She points out.

Daryl glances from Rachel to Negan, taking note of his unkempt hair. He shakes his head, making his way over to the others. "Still need ya help. There's people hurt. Just don't go wanderin off again."

Rachel nods, taking Negan's hand and following Daryl.

~

Beta makes his way back to the makeshift camp the Whisperers had retreated to after their battle.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" One of his men asks.

"Yes." Beta smirks. "I did."

"Are we making another move? Do you need me to get more dead?"

Beta shakes his head. "No. I have a better idea."


	19. Chapter 19

"You think they're going to make a move soon?" Rachel asks.

"I got someone else in the tower on watch, hopefully we'll see em comin if they do. An i wanna get men out on the roads. We gotta make sure they don't send a herd in none a the communities directions," Daryl says.

"Well i've got Saviors covering the roads to Hilltop and the Sanctuary." Simon nods. "Nothing will get through there without my say so."

Daryl nods, running his finger over the map laid out in front of them. "What about the Kingdom?"

"Hilltop's got that covered," Dwight says. "I just sent men out to watch the road to Alexandria."

Negan stands there with his arms crossed. He looks down at the map with a frown. "That doesn't cover this though." He points at the map. "What's to stop those fuckers cutting through the green areas?"

"He's got a point," Dwight agrees. "If they know their way well enough, they could cut through any one of these woods and be all over our communities."

"Ain't much we can do bout that. I could put men out there every few miles, but we need all the men we got here."

"Well hopefully the men on the roads would hear them coming, even if they're deep in the woods. I mean, if they're lugging a herd big enough to do damage to the communities, they should probably hear them," Rachel reasons.

"Alright. We wait it out. Have people sleepin in shifts," Daryl says.

"I don't like it," Negan mumbles.

Daryl glances at Negan, appearing briefly irritated. "I don't like it either, but that's where we are." They all nod in unison before heading off towards the others. "Hold up." Daryl takes his backpack from his shoulders. He pulls out a small gun and a box of bullets. "Don't make me regret this," Daryl says as he hands it to Negan.

Negan stares at him, his mouth agape. He reaches out his hand, taking the gun from Daryl and tucking it into his belt. "I won't."

As Negan heads off with Simon and Dwight, Rachel places her hand against Daryl's shoulder. "Thank you."

Daryl shakes his head. "Don't thank me yet. I ain't happy bout it. But he did save our asses earlier. I still ain't entirely convinced it weren't just for show. Either way, he's earned a gun, for now."

Rachel nods. "Have you heard anything from Alexandria?"

"No."

"I hope Gabe's okay," she worries.

"I'm sorry bout earlier. Not wantin ya to go check on him. I just need as many people here as i can get, and you're one of the best."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Rachel teases.

"I mean it. Merle would be proud."

Rachel smiles, having not thought of Merle in a good while. "Thanks."

~

Rick closes the gate, glancing cautiously at the Savior who had accompanied the men from the border.

"Do you have blood supplies here?" Siddiq asks as he steps off the cart.

Rick opens and closes his mouth, unsure how to answer. "I'm not sure. We used a lot on Gabriel. I guess it depends on their blood type."

Siddiq nods. "Well we're gonna need a lot."

"I'll donate." The Savior steps from behind the cart.

"What blood type are you?" Siddiq enquiries.

"O negative."

Siddiq smiles. "It's a shame we didn't know that beforehand, we could've done with stock piling."

"Yeah, well i'm not up for that, don't go milking me like a damn cow," he jokes. "But i'll give what i can."

"I'll go see if i can find anymore volunteers," Rick says.

"Good, we're gonna need them. What's your name?" Siddiq questions, turning to the Savior.

"Joe."

"Well, Joe. You think you can help me with these guys?"

Joe nods, resting one of the injured men's arms over his shoulders as he helps him inside.

~

"I should go out and hunt, see if i can catch anything," Rachel says.

Negan turns to her, his brows furrowed and his eyes wide. "Are you fucking kidding me? With those skin suit weirdos out there? I don't fucking think so."

"Negan i-"

"He's right," Daryl cuts her off. "We've got enough to get us by. Ain't riskin ya goin out there an not comin back."

Rachel glances between the two of them, a hurt look on her face. "Fine," she grumbles, picking at her nails.

"Speaking of food, i'm fucking starving. When the fuck is dinner time round here?" Negan smiles as he rubs at his stomach.

"Lacey's in charge of food," Rachel says.

"Well i'm gonna go see fucking Lacey then. You want anything, baby?" Rachel shakes her head, sitting down on the grass with her arms resting against her knees. "Alright. Well you might wanna close your legs, you're giving everyone a damn good view," Negan teases.

Rachel whacks his leg playfully as he walks by, but there's a hint of sadness in her eyes as she watches him walk away.

Daryl watches her as he fiddles with his crossbow. "Somethin wrong?"

"No, i'm fine."

"Might wanna tell ya face that." Daryl smirks.

Rachel shakes her head. "We lost five people today, maybe more depending on how it went at Alexandria. I just thought we were past all that."

Daryl sits down beside her, looking out over the border. "I hear ya."

"It just seems so pointless. Like they died for nothing."

"This ain't nothin different from the wars people fought before. They were always pointless. This is what being civilised is. Least we know we ain't fightin ta line some fat cat's pockets. That's somethin."

"I guess. It's still shit though."

"Yeah." Daryl nods. He watches Negan in the distance as he talks to Lacey, leaning back with a smirk on his face as he licks his lips. "Ya know he's flirtin with Lacey?"

"Yes, i do," Rachel says.

"You okay with that?" Daryl frowns.

"It's just how he is, can't help himself. It's not like i can neuter him." She smiles. "Anyway, it's just flirting. I flirt all the time."

"I ain't never seen ya flirt like that."

Rachel laughs. "I don't think _anyone_ flirts like _that_. Negan's like a dog with two dicks, and old habits die hard. Anyway." She turns to Daryl. "Since when do you care?"

Daryl shrugs. "Couldn't give a damn bout him. Just don't like seein ya bein made a fool of."

"Trust me, he won't be making a fool out of me. This isn't like when i was at the Sanctuary."

"Ya think?"

"I _know_. Anyway, looks like Lacey's less than impressed." Rachel smirks as she watches Lacey all but push Negan away with a plate full of food.

Negan makes his way back over to Rachel, scowling a little. "Some people have got no fucking sense of humour." He pouts, tossing a piece of bread into his mouth. Daryl shakes his head as he wanders off. "Fuck's his problem?"

"He thinks it's disrespectful that you flirt with other people right in front of me."

Negan sits down beside her. "And what did you say to that?"

"That i don't care. It's only flirting, _i_ do it all the time."

Negan almost chokes on a piece of bread, coughing into the back of his hand. "What? You don't do you?"

Rachel stares at him in bemusement. "Why wouldn't i? What's good enough for the goose."

Negan shakes his head. "It's different for guys."

Rachel crosses her arms. "And why is that?"

"Because.. men read into shit more than women do. What could be harmless flirting to you, could be entirely fucking different to them."

"You're starting to sound like a sexist pig right now."

"I.." Negan closes his mouth, placing his plate on the ground.

"Are you jealous?" Rachel smiles.

Negan bites on his lip, running a hand over his beard. "It's not about that, it's about-"

"Of course it's about that. I'll tell you what, baby. Why don't we make a deal? The day you stop flirting with every bit of skirt that comes by, i'll do the same." Rachel smiles as she pats his face. "I think i _am_ hungry," Rachel says as she gets up and walks over to Lacey.

Negan glances at his plate, suddenly not hungry in the slightest.

~

Negan roams around the border, a sulky, childish look on his face. He glances at Rachel every so often as she eats her food, moving from her own plate to his unfinished food.

"Hey, Negan. You alright?" Simon asks.

"Does Rachel ever flirt with you?"

"Rachel?" Simon grins from ear to ear. "All the time." His smile begins to falter as Negan clenches his jaw, a stern look on his face. Simon clears his throat, resting his hands against his hips. "I mean, sometimes, in jest. She doesn't mean anything by it." Negan grunts in response, mirroring Daryl in the process. "You know you don't have anything to worry about, right? She loves the fucking bones of you."

Negan rubs at his temples. "I know that."

"And to be fair, it's not like you don't do your fair share."

"That's what _she_ said. But.. it's harmless. Not like i'm gonna fuck anyone else. I haven't been with anyone else since she got hurt at the outpost."

"She know that?" Negan shrugs his shoulders. "You love her?"

Negan's cheeks become flushed, and he drops his head, staring uncomfortably at his feet. "I care about her. I.. only ever told two women i loved them, and they both fucking died. I'm not.. i care about her, and that's enough."

"You _know_ they didn't die because you told them you loved them."

"I fucking know that," Negan says.

"There could be worse women to fall in love with. Rachel's pretty cool. I know if you two weren't.." As he watches Negan raise an eyebrow, Simon clears his throat once again. "I'm just saying. Being in love doesn't make you weak."

"See that's where you're fucking wrong, it _does_ make you weak. People know shit like that, they can use it against you."

"Maybe," Simon says with a shrug. "Anyway, i can't stand around yapping. We've got a war to fight. I'm gonna go talk strategies with Daryl."

~

"Rick just got through on the radio," Daryl says.

Rachel pushes herself up off the grass. "What did he say? Is Gabe okay?"

"Too early ta tell. They need blood. O positive, O negative, and B negative." Daryl glances around at his people, running a hand through his hair. "If we can find one or two of each, should be enough."

"I'm O negative." Negan steps forward.

Daryl shakes his head. "Unless we can't find another, yain't goin nowhere. You're on the frontline, that was the deal."

Negan shrugs his shoulders. "I offered."

"You can't go either." Daryl points at Rachel.

"I wasn't offering. I mean.. not that i wouldn't if it was needed, but i hate needles." Rachel shivers. "Anyway, i'm A negative."

"I'm gonna go check, see who we've got that can donate. Gonna have to send someone with em though. Gone lose more people."

~

Considering it's rarity, they found another member of the group with O negative blood. Daryl watches as six of his people ride towards Alexandria on horseback, glancing over at the dwindling number of men he has left.

Negan makes his way over to Rachel as she sharpens her knife.

"Hey, you alright?" He asks, sitting down beside her. Rachel nods. "So, i was thinking about what you said earlier."

Rachel looks up from her knife. "What did i say earlier?"

"About flirting. I haven't flirted for the past hour," Negan announces almost proudly.

Rachel claps her hands mockingly. "Give the man a medal."

"Ha fucking ha. I was thinking though, maybe i won't do that anymore, since you don't like it."

"Negan, you couldn't stop flirting if your life depended on it. And no, i don't like it. But as long as you keep your dick in your pants, then we're all good." Rachel smiles. "It's going to be dark soon," she points out, changing the subject.

"How many are on watch?"

"Handful. I don't think _i'll_ sleep." She gets up off the ground. "I need to pee."

"You want me to come with you?" Negan offers.

"No. You're not watching me pee." She smiles.

"I didn't mean like that. We don't know what's out there," he says in a serious tone.

"I'll be fine. I'm not going too far. Daryl's got men out in the woods."

"Oh, great. So _they_ can watch you pee, yet i can't?" Negan frowns.

"You'll get over it," Rachel teases, patting his head playfully.

~

Rachel stamps her feet before pulling up her underwear. Darkness had come quick, a sign that summer was quickly fading and fall was fast approaching.

As she makes her way back towards the border, she thinks about what Negan had said. Rachel knows it's only coming from a place of jealousy, and to be honest, she wasn't sure he could change, or that she wanted him to either. Did she like him flirting? Hell no. But that's just who he was. The only thing she cares about, is whether he's faithful. For a man who once had multiple wives, she worries he'll grow bored of her and stray. He'd been unfaithful to Lucille, and he'd worshipped the ground she had walked on. So Rachel wonders why she should be any different.

She turns her head at the sound of rustling. Before she even has a chance to call out, she feels a blunt force to the side of her head, her eyes rolling backwards as she falls to the ground.


	20. Chapter 20

Rachel's eyes flicker open, the world dark and hazy as her eyes slowly adjust. The first thing she notices is a fire flickering a few feet ahead of her as she lays on the ground. The second thing, is that her hands are tied behind her back.

She sees a pair of dirty, tattered boots in front of her, a tall, looming figure sitting on a log, quietly sharpening a large knife.

"Oh, it's you." Rachel frowns, still laying on her side.

"You are awake," Beta says.

"No shit, Sherlock." Rachel pushes herself up with her elbow, crossing her legs in the process as she takes in her surroundings. Whisperers roam around without their skins, most of them occupied with organising what little weapons they have. A group of about six males stare at her, unsure of her presence. "The fuck are you looking at?"

"Do not bait them," Beta warns her, his eyes not leaving the knife in his hand. "I am the only thing between you and them, and they have taken a liking to you. It is most likely the way you dress," he snorts, glancing at her skirt. "They would make quick work of overpowering you."

"I'd like to see them try," Rachel sneers as she watches the men turn away sheepishly. "Anyway. Why _are_ you between me and them?"

"You are not one of us. You cling to the old ways. Alpha would not have allowed them to have you if she were here, so i will honour her."

"Why _am_ i here?" Rachel questions.

"Negan took Alpha from us. He must pay. What better way than to take from him the only thing that he loves."

Rachel furrows her brows. "Negan doesn't love me."

"Yes he does. I saw you both out in the woods. If he was just after one thing, then he wouldn't have made love to you like he did," Beta says nonchalantly.

"Wait, you were watching us?!"

"I took no joy from it, except the joy of knowing that he had a weakness. He will pay for taking Alpha from us. Alpha was strong, she knew how this world was, how it truly was."

"That's just bullshit. Alpha wasn't strong. You know why?" Beta continues sharpening his knife, appearing indifferent to her question. "Since the world turned to shit, i've met a lot of people who were cold like she was. But she was worse, because she wasn't really that cold at all. Maybe if she'd been a complete robot, then i'd be inclined to agree she was strong, but she wasn't. Alpha felt the gravity of what she was doing here, she shed tears for her own daughter, but she let these barbarians have her anyway, because she was _weak_!"

"That is enough," Beta almost growls.

"It's the truth, and you know it. Alpha was nothing more than a glorified enabler."

Beta leans forward before she has the chance to get out another word, drawing his hand back and knocking her onto her side as he connects with her face. Her ear rings, and her mouth tastes like pennies, no doubt from biting her tongue on the way down. Beta grabs the collar of her plaid shirt, bringing her face level with his.

" _Do_ , _not_ , _bait_ , _me_! Remember, i am the _only_ thing between _you_ , and _them_! You can act as tough as you want, but you would not last five minutes if i let them have you! And i _will_ throw you to them if you continue to irritate me! Do you understand?"

Rachel clenches her jaw, staring into his dark eyes, his face cold as ice behind his death mask. She spits, specks of blood splattering against his face.

Beta smirks. "I will take that as a yes." He lets go of her collar, Rachel dropping down on her ass.

"So what's your plan? You just going to kill me? Cut off my head and send it to Negan?"

"No. I want to see that worm get down on his hands and knees, and beg for your life. And then i want him to watch you die. I will take great pleasure in watching him crumble, and then i will take great pleasure in killing him." Beta smiles.

"He won't do that."

"Oh he will. Men are surprisingly attached to little things such as yourself, call it love or ownership, either way, you are his."

~

"Rachel!" Negan yells, his voice echoing through the woods.

"Keep ya voice down," Daryl whispers frustratedly.

"Are you fucking shitting me?"

"We don't know what's out here," Daryl points out as he shines his torch on the ground.

"I knew i shouldn't have let her come out her alone, i fucking knew it!" Negan scolds himself. He watches as Daryl walks slowly, his eyes strained as he inspects every inch of the ground. "Can you see anything?"

Daryl shakes his head. "It'd help if we knew which way she went. People been through here all day ta take a piss."

"Well aren't her footprints fucking smaller? You're a fucking tracker, shouldn't you be able to tell the difference?"

"Yeah, but she's been for a piss bout six times today, along with four others bout the same size as her, so it ain't as easy as it looks." Daryl glances over his shoulder at Negan. "If ya let me concentrate, i'll find what i'm lookin for a lot quicker."

He nods, rubbing at his beard as he follows Daryl, feeling about as useful as a chocolate fire guard. "Sorry. I just wanna fucking find her."

"Well we both want the same thing for once, just keep your voice down, an we'll find her."

"She's been gone an hour, Daryl," Negan says, lowering his voice considerably. "You're not fucking stupid, you know what that means."

Daryl nods, his shoulders hunched as he flicks the light from left to right. "Maybe she came across someone that needed help?"

"Well that _is_ the sort of stupid shit she'd do." Negan frowns.

"That's just who she is, that's why she never belonged with you an the Saviors," Daryl points out.

Negan furrows his brow, watching the back of Daryl's head. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly how it sounds."

"That's just fucking bullshit. We were happy at the Sanctuary."

"Yeah, sure looked like it when i got there," Daryl says sarcastically.

"Everything was fucking fine until you showed up."

Daryl turns to him, shaking his hair from his face. "Didn't show up nowhere. Y'all dragged my ass there. Killed two of our people."

"Oh, i'm sorry, was i supposed to shake your fucking hand and thank you for blowing up my men at the side of the road?"

"Ain't like they were friendly. Those douchebags were gon kill one of us, maybe more." Daryl frowns.

"Maybe, but what about the outpost? Those guys were fucking sleeping when you attacked them, the fuck did they do to deserve that?"

"They deserved everythin they got."

"You know, i'm just about fucking done with you trying to take the moral high ground." Negan steps closer, their faces mere inches apart. "Would you have said that if Rachel had been killed in that little ambush? You just said, that she's the kind of person that saves people, and yet she was with _us_. Maybe i'll agree, a lot of my men that died that night were better off dead, but some of them were every bit as good as she is. They didn't deserve to fucking die. You think people didn't mourn them? That they didn't have loved ones? But i guess you couldn't give two shits about that, what with them not being your own. I did some bad shit, and i damn well paid for it, have you?"

Daryl clenches his jaw before turning away from him. "We're wastin time, let's keep lookin."

Negan lowers his hand towards the knife on his belt, his grip tightening against the handle. He lets out a deep breath before dropping his hand, following Daryl blindly through the woods.

"I got somethin," Daryl says, stretching out his arm as he points at the ground.

"What is it?"

"Piss, an it's fresh, or fresh enough, an these boot prints look like hers. Come on, let's see where they go." Daryl gestures with his head before walking on.

They walk on a few more feet before Daryl stops abruptly.

"What?" Negan frowns, not caring for the expression on his face.

"Her tracks are gone."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they ain't there no more." Daryl drops his head, his eyes flitting from left to right. "I can't read shit, it's too dark."

Negan grabs his arm firmly, his eyes staring desperately into Daryl's. "Well fucking try!" He yells.

Daryl shakes Negan's hand off, taking a knee as he brushes his fingers over the ground. He clears his throat, rubbing his hand over his nose. "She's bin taken."

"What?!"

"Hard ta tell for sure, cos it's dark. But.. these prints here look huge, none of our men are big enough to make a print like that."

Negan's eyes widen, his throat suddenly dry. "Beta." Daryl nods, rising to his feet. "Well don't just fucking stand there! Let's go fucking find her!"

Daryl shakes his head. "We can't," he barely whispers.

"What?! Why the fuck not?!"

"Because i can't see shit. We just gon be trippin over ourselves."

"The fuck are you talking about? Rachel goes night hunting all the fucking time!"

"It ain't the same. These tracks are a damn mess, an we don't know who else is out here."

Negan steps forward, grabbing Daryl by his shirt collar. "Fucking find her!"

Daryl pushes him back, taking the cross bow from his shoulders and aiming it at Negan. "One more step, asshole."

Negan clenches his jaw. "This is Rachel. We can't just leave her."

"We ain't."

"The fuck we ain't, that's _exactly_ what you're doing. Now that might be how Rick the prick does shit, but it isn't how i do shit."

Daryl lowers his crossbow, letting out a deep breath. "Rachel's family, don't think i don't give a shit, cos i do. But even you know it ain't gon get us nowhere runnin round the woods all night."

"I don't give a shit!" Negan spits, his heart pounding against his chest.

"There's no blood, looks like they probably clocked her from behind."

"What's your fucking point?" Negan rubs at his temples.

"My point is, they ain't killed her, and they won't. Looks like they're usin her as bait."

"Bait?"

"They aint got nowhere near as much gun power as we have. Think about it, Negan. What d'ya think their next move is?"

Negan furrows his brow, deep in thought as he attempts to think logically. "A hostage, they'll try and use her to get us to submit."

"Right," Daryl nods. "An the best thing we can do, is come up with a plan."

"But surely they're gonna see shit coming? They know we're gonna notice she's gone."

"Do they strike ya as rational thinkers?"

"Well no, they're fucking weirdos, which is why i don't want Rachel with them. Do you know what they do? To their women?" Negan steps closer once again, but his approach is more desperate than threatening. "Daryl, you weren't with them. They're fucking savages. Please, don't fucking leave her with them," he pleads with him.

Daryl nods. "Alright. But we go back and tell the others first, they gotta be prepared, need ta come up with a plan."

Negan's lip trembles, and he turns away from Daryl, clearing his throat. "Thanks."

"I ain't sayin we gone find her, but we'll try. An if we haven't found her by light, we run our asses back to the others, cos i think that's when these douchebags are gon make their move."

"Alright."

~

"You loved her, didn't you?"

Beta briefly glances in her direction before once again gazing down at his knife. "Do not be ridiculous. She was my leader, my Alpha. I respected her."

Rachel shakes her head. "Course you loved her, it's written all over your face.. well, what i can see of your face."

"You talk too much." Beta frowns.

"What else is there to do but talk? Since i'm apparently going to be dead tomorrow. Might as well make the most of it."

"If you do not shut your mouth, you will not make it to tomorrow," Beta grumbles.

"Maybe that's my plan?" She smiles.

"You do not fool me. You wish to die no more than i wish to be in your presence any longer than is necessary."

"Maybe." Rachel shrugs. "In fact, you're right. I don't want to die. But if you think i'm going to let your little plan work out, then you're as delusional as the rest of these weirdos."

"And yet that is what is going to happen. You will set eyes on your Negan one last time, and maybe i will show mercy and let you both die together, if you shut the hell up!" Beta spits.

"What did you do before?"

Beta's grip on his knife tightens as he struggles to keep his composure. He waves over one of his men, whispering in his ear. Rachel watches cautiously, sure that she's pushed him too far and he will indeed throw her to them. His man comes back with a cloth, handing it to Beta.

Beta kneels in front of her, tying the cloth around her mouth. "You talk too much. If you try and take that off, i will cut out your tongue, do you understand?" Rachel shrugs her shoulders. Beta rolls his eyes. "Sleep. It shall be the last time before the long one, make the most of it."

 


	21. Chapter 21

Negan hadn't slept, the whites of his eyes a light shade of red as they stare out into the woods. The sun had risen ten minutes before, and yet they hadn't found her. As he sits there, tears on the brink, his mind races at the thought of what they may have done to her.

They'd spent half the night tripping over one another in the woods before Daryl had managed to convince Negan it was pointless. They weren't going to find her. So they had made their way back to the border, Daryl going over the plan with his men, whilst Negan stared out into the woods with his jaw clenched, his stomach rolling more and more with every hour that passed.

"You alright?" Simon asks as he sits beside Negan.

"What kinda stupid fucking question is that?" Negan snaps.

Simon clears his throat. "I guess it was stupid. You know Rachel though, she's a badass."

"Yeah, she is, but she's also just one woman. One woman who's being held captive by a bunch of fucking savages, and she's been there all damn night!" Negan spits.

"Sorry," Simon says sincerely, dropping his head.

"We should've kept looking for her. What if they've.." Negan shakes his head, the thought of what could be happening to her painful enough without saying the actual words. "If they fucking hurt her, i'll never forgive myself." He runs a hand over his beard, clenching his jaw to bite back tears.

"Daryl thinks they're gonna make a move soon. We've got men out in the woods, that way we can surround them."

"Well good for him," Negan sneers.

Simon nods, rising to his feet. "I'll seeya later." He smiles sympathetically before walking off.

"Here," Daryl says, holding out a bottle of water to Negan. "Don't need ya droppin down on us."

"What's the point?" Negan frowns.

"The point is we need ta win this war, i need my men strong."

"But Rachel is-" Negan starts.

"Rachel wants ta win this war just as much as any of us, that ain't changed. An if ya care bout her, you'll remember that," Daryl says. Negan grabs the bottle and nods. "This'll end today, one way or another. Let's just hope we're on the winning side."

"We fucking are," Negan says as he rises to his feet.

"Good. Now go see Jesus, he's got all the ammo, ya gon need plenty," Daryl says.

~

Rachel stumbles over the ground, Beta's large fingers curling around her arm as he all but drags her through the woods. He'd taken off the gag, but her hands were still tied behind her back, and with Whisperers and the dead in every direction, she'd seen no opportunity to escape.

"You won't win," she says.

"Is that so?" Beta sneers.

"Why don't you turn back while you still can? Kill me if you feel you have to, but if you keep going forward, you'll lose," Rachel tries to reason.

"Look at you, willing to give your life for that worthless maggot. If you think i do not realise the reason you wish me not to go forward, then you must think me a fool. You know i will crush that very maggot that you hold so dear. Maybe i will let you live long enough to watch him die, you can die together, that would bring me great joy." Beta smiles.

"Whether you kill us both or not, you'll die."

"Keep quiet, unless you wish for the dead to notice you," Beta warns her.

"Why should i care? I'm dead either way," Rachel points out.

"Because you people are selfish. You wish nothing more than to see your maggot one last time."

"I love that maggot you piece of shit, and if you think i'm going to keep going so he can watch me die, then you can get fucked!" She yells. Before she has time to open her mouth again, Beta covers it with his hand, motioning for the gag. She whimpers lightly as he pulls it tight, her heart pounding.

"Maybe you aren't selfish after all." He smiles. "But he _will_ watch you breathe your last breaths. And just as you're on your last one, i will gut him like a pig. Now keep moving," Beta orders.

~

Negan loads his handgun, tucking it into his belt beside his knife as he makes his way over to Simon and Dwight.

"Any word from the lookouts?" Negan questions, becoming increasingly impatient with each passing minute.

Dwight shakes his head. "It's quiet out there." He gestures towards the woods. "We've got men all over, so i'll be surprised if they slip through without us noticing."

"Even if they _do_ slip through, we've got them surrounded," Simon points out. "There's nearly twenty Saviors out there, and shit knows how many from the other communities. Those assholes won't win this war."

"You know what, the only thing i give a shit about is Rachel. Can you two tell me for damn sure she's gonna make it outta this?" Negan frowns.

"Negan, you know that's what _i_ want. I care about Rachel.. in my own way. I mean, i owe her ten times over," Simon chuckles.

"You sure do, we both do," Negan says. "Do i want us to win this war? Fuck yeah. But do i see the fucking point if she doesn't make it? Fuck no."

"She'll make it." Simon nods. "They won't have killed her."

"I know they won't have, because cunty mcdickface is using her as bait. Motherfucker wants my head on a stick, knows that's the only way he'll get it," Negan says.

"So we don't need to worry," Dwight points out.

"It's not the jolly green giant i'm worried about, it's Rachel," Negan says, looking off into the distance. "I know her.." Negan shakes his head. "She won't let that happen." He bites on his lip, dropping his head as he sighs deeply.

"What do you think she's gonna do?" Dwight asks with a frown.

Negan rubs at his temples, crinkling his nose as thoughts race through his mind. "She.. she'll do something stupid. I knew i should've stopped her coming to see me, this wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for me."

"I won't argue with that," Dwight chips in. He clears his throat as Simon throws him a cold stare.

"Nothing you did would've stopped her." Simon rests a hand against Negan's shoulder.

"Maybe, but i could've tried harder."

"Everyone in position! Draw your weapons!" Daryl orders.

The others turn in his direction, racing towards him as their eyes catch the approaching shadows in the woods. They form a line facing the woods, Daryl, Negan, Simon and Dwight in the centre, their guns pointing down at the ground.

"No," Negan almost whimpers as he watches Beta step out of the shadows with Rachel in tow, a gag over her mouth.

Beta raises his hand. "Keep the dead at bay till my say so," he orders his men. Then he gestures over two dozen of his men forward, his grip tight on Rachel's arm.

Negan clenches his jaw as he goes to step forward, Daryl grabbing his arm.

"Don't," Daryl barely whispers. Negan turns to him, his eyes lit with fury. "You go doin somethin stupid, they could hurt her."

Negan steps back reluctantly, nodding his head.

Beta and his men stop around 100ft from them, and the Whisperers army looks pitiful compared to theirs, the communities having close to forty on the field, not to mention the forty or so hiding out in the woods.

Daryl know that means nothing though, since the Whisperers have more men hanging back, not to mention the vast sea of dead they have at their disposal.

Negan's heart drops to his stomach as he looks at his woman. Her face is bruised and grazed, and it takes everything he has not to run over and slit Beta's throat. "What did you do to her?!" He yells.

"Negan, don't," Daryl whispers.

Beta smirks, glancing briefly at Rachel. "This one truly is your soul mate, she is lucky i did not cut out her tongue."

"I swear, if you fucking hurt her, i'll make your death nice and fucking slow!" Negan yells. "Take that off." Negan gestures towards the gag.

Beta snorts, taking off the gag and tossing it away. "You have any last words for that maggot of yours?" He whispers.

"Fuck you," she sneers at Beta.

"Come forward, and lose the gun," Beta says.

"Don't, Negan!" Rachel shakes her head. She feels Beta's knife pressing against the small of her back. Negan steps forward regardless, tucking the gun into his belt. Tears fall down Rachel's cheeks, her lip trembling and her heart beating faster with every step Negan takes towards her. "Negan.. don't!" She shakes her head, struggling to free herself from Beta's grip.

"Your attempts are futile, i will end you and your maggot, and how sweet it shall be." Beta smiles.

Rachel turns to Negan, barely 50ft away from her. "I love you," she whispers, Negan frowning as he moves ever closer. Rachel bares her teeth and pushes herself backwards, Beta's knife plunging sickly into her lower back.

"What?" Beta's eyes widen.

Negan stands frozen, and yet the world feels as if it's moving at a ridiculous speed. "No.. no!" He screams as Rachel drops down, Beta's knife dripping with blood as he holds it in his hand.

"Now!" Daryl yells.

His men come from the woods in all directions, and the men beside him begin to fire at the Whisperers.

Negan races towards Rachel, but Beta knocks him off his feet, Negan falling backwards. Beta lifts his knife, but Negan brings his boot up into Beta's stomach, Beta dropping his weapon. He recovers quickly, his huge hands curling around Negan's neck. Beta glances towards Rachel, her head barely lifting off the ground as she looks in their direction.

"Now you watch each other die!" He sneers.

As Negan struggles to loosen Beta's grip, the first time he laid eyes on Rachel rushes through his mind. How she'd knelt down in front of him covered in blood with that sweet smile on her face, appearing almost as psychotic as him. Oh, how wrong he'd been, but he loved her for it.

Negan brings his knee up into Beta's crotch, Beta releasing his grip as his hands instinctively drop down between his legs. Negan takes the knife from his belt, swiftly slitting Beta's throat, blood dripping down on his leather jacket.

Beta gurgles, choking on his own blood, his eyes wide as he looks down at Negan. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but drops down before he has the chance.

Negan struggles to roll Beta off, his teeth bared as he rises to his feet. His face drops. "Rachel." He races over to her, Daryl not far behind him. Negan rolls her onto her back, holding her in his arms, her face deathly pale. She looks up at him, her hand gripping the top of his arm. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he assures her.

Rachel shakes her head. "I'm.. dying.. i.. can feel it," she croaks.

"No, you're gonna be fucking fine, you hear me?" Her eyes flicker shut. "Hey!" Negan yells, shaking her awake. "Don't you fucking close your eyes on me! You fucking stay with me goddamn it!"

"I.. it hurts," she whispers.

"Rachel, please," Negan sobs. "Don't leave me, you can't, because.. i fucking love you. You hear me, baby? I love you, you can't leave me. Please, baby."

Rachel smiles, lifting her hand to his face before it drops to the ground, her eyes closing.

"No! Rachel!" Negan yells, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Daryl kneels quickly down beside him. "Let me look at her."

"But she-"

"Let me look at her!" Daryl yells.

Dwight comes to the other side of her, checking her pulse. "We need to get her outta here."

"Isn't.." Negan swallows thickly, his throat dry. "Isn't there one here?"

"No," Daryl says, taking his shirt off and tying it around her wound. "We need to go, now!"


	22. Chapter 22

"Through here!" Carson yells as Negan carries Rachel through the door. "Set her down on the table."

Negan lays her down, his cheeks stained with tears. "Please, help her," he sobs.

"What do we have?" Carson asks.

"Stab wound, lower back. Had ta resuscitate her twice," Daryl says.

Carson nods. "Joe, help me turn her over. Dwight, go get Jenny, i need her now! We need to stop this bleeding, hold that there," Carson gestures to Negan. "Press as hard as you can." Negan presses against her wound as Carson cuts off her vest. "What's her blood type?"

"A negative," Daryl says.

"We're fully stocked, go get me some from the back." Carson points towards a storage room. Daryl races towards it. "Dwight, get me my kit, it's through there. Jenny, thank God. I'm gonna need you. Everyone out."

"What?" Negan barely whispers.

"Come on, man," Daryl says. "Ain't nothin we can do for her. We're just gettin in his way."

Negan nods, his lip trembling as he heads towards the door, and his eyes not leaving her till the door closes in front of him.

"Daryl," Rick rushes over, or as fast as he can with his cane in his hand. "What happened?"

"Rachel, she got stabbed," Daryl says sombrely.

"Jesus! Is she gonna be okay?" Rick asks, his eyes wide.

"I don't know." Daryl drops his head, running a hand through his hair.

"And the Whisperers?" Rick questions.

"We didn't hang around ta find out. Beta's dead though, Negan killed him. They didn't have a lotta men, we just gotta take care of the herd," Daryl says.

"I'll see if i can radio through." Rick glances over at Negan. "She's a fighter, always has been, if anyone can survive this, Rachel can."

Negan's gaze doesn't drop from the door. He looks in through the window, but the door to the surgery is closed. "I should be in there," he croaks.

"There's nothing you can do for her," Dwight says. "I'm gonna head back out, see how things are going."

"I'm stayin here." Daryl turns to Dwight. "You're in charge. If the Whisperers have bin wiped out, take care of the herd. Ya gon have ta lead it away from here."

"Alright." Dwight nods.

"I just got through on the radio," Rick says. "The Whisperers are defeated. Some of them are just injured, i want them brought here alive."

"What?!" Negan turns to Rick, his jaw clenched. "You're fucking shitting me?!"

"No, i'm not. That's how we do things round here, or need i remind you where you was not so long ago?" Rick points out.

"That's fucking different." Negan frowns.

Rick shakes his head. "No, it's not. They're people, Negan."

"They're fucking rapists and weirdos! Is that the kind of people you want round here? Round your women?!"

"This ain't the time," Daryl cuts in.

Rick holds up a hand. "No, Daryl. This _is_ the time." He steps closer to Negan, tilting his head. "People can change, Negan. At least that's what Rachel tells me, or is she wrong?"

Negan clenches his jaw. "You know what those men did."

"Yeah, and they'll do time for it, maybe they'll never be released. But what about the women?"

"What about them?" Negan frowns.

"There were women out there fighting with the Whisperers, surely they deserve a chance? It's not for _you_ to decide who lives or dies. We bring them in, lock them up, and if they can be rehabilitated, they'll be released. _That_ , is how civilised people do things."

"Maybe the women should have a chance, but the men don't deserve shit!" Negan spits.

"Any of the men that can't be rehabilitated will be dealt with accordingly, i don't want them walking round here just as much as you. Just because they were with them, doesn't mean they're all the same, you should know that more than anyone," Rick says.

"What the fuck ever," Negan huffs as he turns back towards the infirmary.

"Rick, maybe he's right. We ain't talkin bout the kinda stuff we've all had ta do, these guys are rapists," Daryl says, not quite believing he's agreeing with Negan.

"I know, and like i said, they'll be dealt with. _This_ is how we do things. We've got plenty of room in the cells. Those that are too far gone.." Rick rubs at his temples. "I won't run the risk of them getting out, they'll be executed."

~

Negan and Daryl sit inside the infirmary, Negan with his head hung low, his legs shaking impatiently.

The door to the surgery opens, Dr. Carson stepping out, his doctor's whites splattered with blood. His eyes look heavy, black circles beneath as he runs a hand through his hair.

Negan jumps out of his seat, followed quickly by Daryl. "Doc, how is she? Please tell me she's okay."

"She's stable for now."

"For now?" Negan frets, his eyes wide.

"We lost her more than once, she's lost a lot of blood. I've managed to stop the bleeding, we just have to watch her organs don't shut down, she's in for a real fight, the next twenty-four hours are crucial."

"Can i see her?" Negan asks.

Carson nods. "Sure. I'm gonna get myself cleaned up, but i'll be back soon."

"It's alright, Doc. Ya done good," Daryl says, resting a hand against his shoulder.

Negan walks past Carson, eager to see her. His face drops as he steps inside, wires sticking out of Rachel's arms. "Baby," he almost whimpers, making his way over to her. Negan takes her hand in his, kissing the back of it as tears roll down his cheeks.

Daryl stands in the doorway, twiddling with the strap on his crossbow. He takes it from his shoulders, placing it on the ground before he walks to the other side of the bed, parking his ass in a grey, plastic chair. "Ya should sit down. We gon be here for a while."

Negan glances over at him, nodding briefly before reaching out for the chair behind him, refusing to let go of her hand. "I keep ending up in the same damn place," he whispers, stroking her fingers.

"Maybe that's cos ya keep doin the same shit." Daryl frowns. "Makin the same mistakes."

Negan stares at him coldly. "The last time i was here, it was because of you and your people."

Daryl shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "Stop actin like your hands were clean. There's a reason everyone hated the Saviors, they still do, even though they're tryin ta make it right. Y'all just showed up an everythin turned ta shit. We attacked you on the word of someone else, maybe we shouldn't have, but it speaks for itself. Hilltop weren't the only ones that wanted ya dead. Too many of your people were douchebags, you included. Y'all took everythin we had, an it weren't enough. Most of ya had it comin."

"I kept people alive!" Negan spits.

"Yeah, by stompin all over everyone else!" Daryl yells.

"Hey!" They both turn their heads as Rick stands at the door. "What the hell are you doing?" Negan goes to open his mouth, but Rick holds up his hand. "Don't bother. Rachel's right there, and you're tearing at each other's throats. No one's asking you to be friends, but if you can't even manage to be civil for her sake, then you can both leave."

Negan and Daryl grunt simultaneously, glancing at one another in annoyance.

"Do you both hear me?" Rick frowns. Negan nods. "Daryl?"

"Yeah, i hear ya," he says, crossing his arms.

"Good. If i hear so much as a raised voice, i'll throw you both in the cells. This isn't what she needs right now." Rick glances at her, tilting his head. "I just got through to the others on the radio. War's over, and Eugene's helping lead the herd away. I.. Simon said Rachel purposely fell back on Beta's knife, is that true?" Daryl nods. "Why?"

"She knew what was comin," Daryl says. "Beta was as surprised as we were. She gave us a window. And.. she did it for him." He gestures towards Negan.

"The fuck are you talking about?" Negan frowns.

"Beta wanted his head on a platter, so she took matters into her own hands, before he got too close to them."

Negan drops his head, knowing deep down that he's right.

"I.. have some other news, and you're not gonna like it," Rick says, playing nervously with his hands.

"What?" Daryl asks.

"Beta isn't dead."

Negan gets up off his chair, knocking it over in the process. "The fuck he isn't! I slit that fucker's goddamn throat, his blood's all over my damn jacket!"

Rick holds up his hands. "You need to calm the hell down."

"He couldn't fucking survive that, there's no way!" Negan yells.

" _You_ did," Rick points out.

"How the hell did he make it?" Daryl frowns.

"He's.. in the other operating room." Daryl and Negan rush forward, Rick blocking the doorway. "Woah. Just stop, the pair of you."

Daryl shakes his head. "Nah, it ain't right, that asshole in there while Rachel lies here on death's door."

"At last, we agree on something," Negan says.

"You two will sit the hell down, or you're both going straight in the cells! Is that what you want? Rachel needs you. Now, i've told you both, and i'm not gonna keep repeating myself. You know how we do things here. If you don't like it, then walk straight out that gate, and don't look back. I've got guards watching over him, so don't go doing anything stupid." Rick walks over to a chair near the wall, stretching out his leg as he sits down.

"This is bullshit," Negan says, pouting his lip childishly as he sits back down. Daryl follows suit, scraping his chair closer to the bed.

"How about i make you both a deal?" They both stare at him, listening intently. "If.. _when_ Rachel wakes up, she gets to decide what happens to him."

Their eyes widen.

"So if she wants him dead, you'll do that?" Daryl asks. Rick nods.

"Good. Rachel will do the right thing," Negan says, glancing down at her as he holds her hand.

Rick nods. "I've no doubt she will."

~

Daryl glances over as Rick dozes in his chair, his chin dropping to his chest as he snores lightly. He watches Negan, who hasn't taken his eyes off Rachel since Rick's speech earlier. "Now's our chance," he whispers.

Negan looks over at him, his eyelids heavy. "Our chance for what?"

"Ta end Beta. Rick's sleepin, it's dark. I could distract the guards, long as ya do it real quick."

Negan leans back in his chair, his thumb stroking Rachel's fingers. He shakes his head. "No."

"No?"

"I want him dead just as much as you, but i'm not leaving her." He gazes back down at Rachel. "If you want to, i won't stop you. But you shouldn't. Rick said it's Rachel's decision, and it makes me feel better knowing she'll get to see him die. It's what that fucker deserves." Daryl nods in agreement. "When i first met her, she saved my life."

"That's what she does," Daryl says.

"I was out in the woods with Simon, we came across those Wolves, they captured us. I guess it would've worked out better for you and your people if she hadn't saved us, but she did, without a second thought. I think.. i loved her a little bit, even in those first moments. I know that's probably bullshit, just lust really, but i knew she was something fucking special, right from the moment i laid eyes on her. I've had a lot of women over the years, but only two of them were something special. I wanna be what she needs, she deserves that. My.. my wife, i wasn't what she needed, i was fucking selfish, she deserved a fuck load better than what i gave her. I.. i wanna be better for her."

"Then be it, ain't that hard," Daryl says. "Unless that ain't who ya are."

"I don't know. When the world turned to shit, the only way to live, was to change. It's not like i was a fucking serial killer or anything before, i was a fucking high school coach who cheated on his wife every chance he got. Apart from dealing with the occasional angry husband, i wasn't even a violent man. Sure, i've always had a bit of a temper, but my bark was always worse than my bite. I just.. changed. How the fuck did _she_ not change?" Negan looks at Daryl for an answer.

"She did. Rachel didn't know shit before. She never fired a gun, or shot an arrow. Didn't know shit bout bein out there. An she's taken lives."

"Yeah, but that's different. When she's taken a life, it's because she's had to, or because she knows there's no other way. She's the kind of person who goes out of her way to do the right thing, even if the cost might be her own life. When she was at the Sanctuary, i knew deep down she didn't really belong there. She was too good for us, but, i couldn't let her go. I can _never_ let her go. Fuck.. i wish she'd just open her eyes. What if she doesn't make it?"

"She will, she has to," Daryl says, reaching out for her other hand. He glances at Negan, and Negan nods briefly before looking away as Daryl rests his hand over hers.


	23. Chapter 23

It hurts, an ache so deep she's sure she's dying. As her eyes slowly open, she hears the constant beep of what she assumes is a heart monitor. She looks up at the ceiling, unsure of her surroundings. _Is this heaven?_ She wonders. Her hands feel warm, and as she looks down at them, she sees fingers draped over each one. It must be heaven, in what other world would these two men sit amicably together?

"Negan," she croaks. His fingers curl tighter round her hand involuntary at the sound of her voice.

Negan grunts, seeming to swat at an invisible fly before his eyes open. "Rachel? Rachel!" He smiles, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "Oh, Rachel." Negan strokes her hair, grinning from ear to ear as he feels her breath against his cheek.

Rachel feels Daryl's hand squeeze hers tightly before be let's go. "It's good ta see ya awake, had us worried there." Daryl smiles.

"You did," Negan whispers, stroking her cheek. "I fucking love you, i'm sorry i didn't say it sooner, i'm a fucking idiot."

Daryl leans back in his chair, looking away a little awkwardly.

"I love you too." Rachel smiles, kissing the blade of his nose. "I'm hurting though," she adds with a wince.

"I'll go get Carson, see if he can give ya somethin." Daryl rises out of his seat and heads for the door.

"I mean it, baby. I'm not gonna mess around anymore, it's just you and me from now on, i fucking promise you."

"I'll hold you to that." Rachel smiles. "Shit!" She winces as she shifts uncomfortably on the bed.

"Hey, just take it easy, baby."

"Is it over?" Rachel asks.

Negan looks down at her, thinking how Beta is in the next room. "Yeah, it's over. Eugene's leading the herd away."

"Did Gabriel make it?"

Negan chuckles. "Christ, look at you. Just woke up, and you're only worried about every fucker else." He nods. "Yeah, he's gonna be fine, thanks to you."

"Good." She smiles.

"There's a shit load of people outside waiting to hear if you're okay. Simon and about ten other Saviors amongst them. You're more popular than i _ever_ was." Negan smiles. "I'm kinda jealous."

"Are you and Daryl okay?"

"Yeah, we're not hurt," Negan says.

"That's not what i meant, i mean with each other."

"Well, i don't think we're ever gonna be fucking besties. You're never gonna find us braiding each other's hair and shit. But i can stomach him.. just about." Negan chuckles.

"I heard my patient's awake," Carson says with a smile. "And i heard you're hurting."

"Yes, it hurts like a bitch." Rachel frowns.

Carson nods. "I can give you something for that, should ease it off a little. What you need, is plenty of rest."

"I can handle that, i'm pretty tired," Rachel says.

"Well i'll just do some quick checks, then you can sleep to your heart's content." Carson smiles.

"I'm just gonna step out for a sec, get some air," Negan says. Rachel nods at him with a smile.

"Negan."

"Hey, Gabey boy, how you doing?"

"I'm pretty out of it. The Doc gave me some really good painkillers."

"I'll bet." Negan chuckles.

"How is she? Did i hear right? Did she just wake up?"

Negan nods. "Yeah, she did."

"Will you tell her thank you? I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her."

"I sure fucking will," Negan says before he turns to leave.

"And thank you."

Negan turns to him, raising an eyebrow. "Me? What the fuck for?"

"She wouldn't have been able to save me without your help."

"You're very fucking welcome, Gabe." Negan walks over to the other operating room, two of Rick's men standing either side of the door. "You gonna step aside?"

"Rick said no one goes in."

"You know who that is, right?" Negan frowns. "Besides, i'm not gonna do anything, just wanna give him a friendly little hello."

"Negan, what are you doing?" Rick stands behind him.

"I meant what i just said. I'm not gonna do a goddamn fucking thing, i just.. i need to see him."

"Open the door," Rick orders his men. His men glance at one another before opening the door, Negan stepping slowly inside.

Beta lies on a bed, bandages wrapped around his neck, appearing much like Negan did after the war between the communities and the Saviors. Negan steps closer, looking down at Beta, his death mask now gone.

"You awake there, cunty mcdickface?"

Beta opens his eyes yet doesn't reply, opting instead to bare his teeth, but the strain on his neck makes him wince, and he closes his mouth.

"Look at you." Negan smirks. "I can see why you wore that damn mask all the time, you're an ugly fucker. I just came to tell you, that Rachel made it, and you might be breathing right now, but Rachel gets to decide how you die. So enjoy it while you can, motherfucker, because this time next week, you're gonna be pushing fucking daisies. In fact, i think i might plant you right next to the sewer, so that way, every time i take a shit, i'll think of you." Negan smiles. "Ta ta."

~

By the third day, Rachel was well enough to sit up and eat, though it still hurt like a bitch. And though she was more than capable of feeding herself, Negan would have none of it, insisting on feeding her every mouthful himself.

Rick steps through the door, a sombre look on his face, and Rachel stops mid chew as she takes note.

"You okay?" She asks. Negan turns to Rick, spooning peas towards Rachel's nose. "Negan." Rachel frowns, rubbing at her nose before she attempts to pick up the peas from her lap.

"Shit, i'm sorry. Let me get those, don't fucking strain yourself, baby."

"Well?" Rachel turns to Rick.

"Yeah, i'm okay. But.. i have to ask whether you've thought about what we discussed yesterday?"

"You mean Beta?" She asks.

"I don't see why you gave her a fucking day?" Negan frowns. "I mean sure, there's a lot of ways you can execute someone, but she shouldn't really need to think about it that hard."

"Rachel?" Rick stands there, holding onto his cane.

"You do what's right," she answers.

"Fuck yeah! That's my girl." Negan smiles.

"No, Negan. I mean, we do what's right."

Negan's face falls. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"He should have a chance."

"A chance to do what?" Negan frowns.

"A chance to change."

"No." Negan shakes his head. "Fuck no, Rachel. Look what he did. You almost died because of that fucker."

"How many people have died from your hands? Or mine? Or Rick's?"

"Negan." Rachel takes his hand. "If he can't change, then he'll rot. You stand there and tell me people can't change."

Negan drops his head. "Rachel, it's not the same."

"Why?"

"Because i want that fucker dead! He deserves to fucking die! Rick, am i being fucking unreasonable?"

Rick opens his mouth but Rachel cuts him off. "I've made my decision. You'll either honour it, or you won't. I don't want to talk about it anymore, i'm tired."

~

"It's healing nicely, in fact, i think you're good to go home." Carson smiles as he changes Rachel's dressing.

"Really?" She asks.

"Yeah, you'll need to come in once a day, so i can check it, but i think you're good to go."

"That's great news." Negan smiles. "Rachel?" He frowns as Carson walks out of the room. "You okay?" Rachel shrugs her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Me going home means we won't be together," Rachel whispers.

Negan's face drops, but he quickly paints on a smile. "It won't be for long. Soon as you're fully recovered, you can come live at the outpost with me. And this _is_ a good thing. That outpost is a shit hole, i'm gonna fix it up real nice."

"I don't want to be away from you."

"I know, baby. I don't wanna be away from you either."

"Can't i just come with you?"

Negan shakes his head. "It's not safe for you to be out there, not yet. And you need to be close to the infirmary."

"Negan." Rick stands in the doorway. "You ready?"

"Yeah, just.. give me a minute." Rick nods, stepping outside. Negan kisses her forehead, running a hand through her hair. He wipes at a tear rolling down her cheek. "It won't be long, baby. Just a few weeks."

Rachel nods, brushing her nose against his. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby." Negan gets up off the bed, heading out the door. He doesn't look back, unable to bear watching her cry.

~

"We can stop if you need a rest?" Rick says.

Rachel shakes her head. "I'm okay."

"It's only been two weeks, and you've still got more weeks of recovery. You need to take it easy."

"And i will, once i'm at home," Rachel says as she walks down the road towards her house. Rick stops at the bottom of the steps, clearing his throat. "What's up?" She frowns.

"I need you to understand, that if anything goes wrong, it's on you."

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't make me regret this," Rick says before he heads across the street.

Rachel watches him, her brows furrowed as she heads inside. As she stands in the hall, her heart aches more than her back at how empty it feels.

"Rachel."

She turns her head so quickly her neck cracks, a twinge running up her back and sending shivers through her body. "What.." Negan stands in the lounge, grinning from ear to ear. "What are you doing here?"

"Rick took me straight here, i thought he'd lost his fucking marbles when we didn't go towards the gate. He's giving me a chance. I put one foot wrong, and i'm out.. i won't." Negan makes his way over to her.

"I can't.." Her lip trembles as he takes her in his arms, and though it pains her, she doesn't care. "You're here," she sobs into his chest.

"Come on, you need to rest," Negan says, leading her to the sofa. He helps her down, grabbing a footstool and resting her legs upon it. "You hungry?"

Rachel shakes her head. "No, i just.. come sit with me a while."

Negan sits down beside her, kissing her cheek chastely. "Fuck i could get used to this." He smiles as she rests her head against his shoulder. "Love you, baby." When he's met with silence, he turns to her, smiling as she sleeps contentedly.

**Author's Note**

Thank you so much reading, this series is my baby, and i've really enjoyed writing it. The next two chapters will be the final chapters, and i hope you enjoy them. Thanks for all the feedback


	24. One Year Later

"I don't wanna go."

"Negan, you have to go, everyone's going."

"Exactly, so every fucker will be there. No one fucking wants me there, Rachel."

"I want you there." She smiles, resting her head against his shoulder as she stands behind him, her hands creeping round and resting against his chest. "And Rick wouldn't have invited you if he didn't want you there."

"He was just being fucking polite," Negan pouts.

Rachel rubs her cheek against his, Negan's beard prickling her lightly. "Since when do you care what people think about you?"

"I fucking don't, but i won't have people whispering behind my back either."

"If you go, i'll wear that red thing under my dress," Rachel offers seductively.

Negan's eyes light up, his lips curling into a smirk. "Really?" Rachel nods in reply, nuzzling his ear with her nose. He grabs Rachel's arm, pulling her in front of him and down onto his lap. "Why don't you put it on now? Give me a little preview."

She tugs lightly on his lip, Negan letting out a groan. "Nope, that's my only way of getting you there. Do i look stupid?" Rachel frowns.

"You most certainly fucking _do not_ look stupid. Can't blame a guy for trying."

"Well you'd better start getting ready, i'll pick you some clothes out." Rachel gets up from his lap.

"What's wrong with what i've got on?"

"Rick said to dress up."

"You're saying this isn't fucking dressy or some shit?" Negan holds out his arms either side of himself as he stands up.

"You've got walker blood on you for a start, i'll pick you out something nice, go get a shower."

"You wanna fucking join me?" Negan bites on his lip.

"Stop that. There will be plenty of that later, as long as you play nice."

"I always fucking play nice." Negan smiles.

~

Negan adjusts the collar of his black shirt as they cross the street. He stops half way, rubbing at his temples.

"What's wrong?" Rachel frowns.

"Maybe i shouldn't have worn this jacket?"

"Why?"

"Because it's my murder jacket."

Rachel stares at him, struggling to stifle a laugh. "Your murder jacket?"

"Yeah. I never murdered anyone without this jacket.. well, except for Dave, and there may have been a few other fuckers, i can't quite remember."

"Negan, you're stalling. Now come on." Rachel tugs at his arm.

Rachel knocks on Rick's door, Michonne answering, giving Negan a brief glance.

"Hey." Rachel smiles. "I brought a bottle," she says, holding out a bottle of red.

"Thanks, i could really do with a glass, Jamie had me up all night, and Rick wasn't helpful at all."

"Did someone mention my name?" Rick asks with a smile.

"I'd hide if i were you," Rachel advises him playfully.

"Ah, well i'm on baby duty tonight, so i'm making up for it," Rick says.

"Well come in." Michonne steps aside.

Negan walks behind Rachel with his head down, feeling eyes burning into him before he has the chance to look up.

"What are you drinking?" Rick asks.

Negan looks up at him, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his black, denim jeans. He shrugs. "What have you got?"

"Well there's beer over there, wine, a questionable punch in that bowl." Rick says.

"Beer would be great," Negan mumbles. As Rick heads off to get him a beer, Negan places a hand on Rachel's shoulder. "I told you i shouldn't have come, everyone's fucking staring."

"No they're not." But as she glances around the room, she catches eyes looking in their direction every few seconds. "Okay, maybe they are. But fuck them. Take off your jacket, because we're not going anywhere."

"Rachel." Daryl walks over with a beer in his hand, dressed in an almost identical outfit to Negan's. They stare at one another like two women arriving in the same dress.

"Looking sharp, Daryl." Rachel smiles.

"Yeah, can i steal you for a minute, i need ta talk to ya bout the next hunt."

"Alright, will you get me a beer, Negan?" Negan stares at her, his eyes pleading for her not to leave him. "I won't be long," she assures him before walking off with Daryl.

 _Shit!_ Negan frowns, trying not to dip his head again, worried that it will be portrayed as weakness.

"Here you go," Rick says, handing him a beer. Negan takes it gratefully, downing almost the entire glass in one go. "Woah, slow down."

"Why did you invite me?" Negan asks.

"Because you're a part of this community, just like everyone else. You contribute, just like everyone else."

"No one wants me here," Negan points out.

Rick lets out a deep sigh. "Rachel wants you here. And.. well, i don't mind you being here."

"Gee, thanks," Negan says sarcastically.

"This is a chance for people to get to know you."

"Yeah, i'm pretty fucking sure they know me well enough." Negan takes another swig of his beer. "Where the fuck is Rachel?" Negan looks around the room. "I can't believe she just left me," he pouts childishly.

Rick laughs. "You know, when you're at a party, you're supposed to mingle."

"Who the fuck am i supposed to mingle with? I probably tried to kill nearly every fucker here."

"You're mingling with me just fine," Rick points out.

"Yeah, but that's because you don't have a fucking choice, you're doing it for Rachel."

"Negan, if i didn't wanna stand here and talk to you, then i wouldn't."

Negan rolls his eyes. "What the fuck ever."

"You know, maybe if you made yourself more approachable, people might find it easier to talk to you," Rick suggests.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you're not exactly the easiest guy to talk to. You could start by taking off your murder jacket," Rick suggests before he walks away.

~

Rachel heads back inside. She watches Negan from a distance, her heart beating a little faster as she sees how uncomfortable he appears, leaning back against the wall as he stands in the corner.

"I wonder who invited him?"

"Probably Rick, it wouldn't have been Michonne, she can't stand him as much as everyone else. I mean, who does he think he is? Just rocking up here as if he's one of us."

Rachel balls her fists, making a start to go over.

"I think he's kinda hot," a red headed woman says.

The group of women stare at her as if she'd just insulted them.

"Jane, are you serious? You know who he is, right?"

"Yeah, i do. Doesn't stop the fact that he's hot though." Jane glances in his direction as she sips her wine.

"Well i know i would," one of her friends says with a smile.

"You can't be serious?"

"Take away everything that he's done, you look at him right now, and tell me he isn't hot," Jane says.

She opens her mouth, closing it quickly. "That's not the point."

Rachel makes her way over to Negan with a smile, Negan looking more than relieved to see her.

"The fuck took you so long?" He frowns, resting his hand against her waist.

"Daryl wouldn't shut up. How's it going?"

"Shit, it's going shit, i knew i shouldn't have come. Everyone keeps staring, and i'm sure they're saying shit about me, and you can guaran-fucking-tee it isn't anything nice."

"I wouldn't say that, i just heard someone saying something nice about you."

"Sure." He nods sarcastically.

"Jane thinks you're hot."

Negan grins from ear to ear. "Really?" He asks, looking over in Jane's direction.

Rachel places a hand on his shoulder. "Easy, tiger. Put little Negan back in his cage."

"Excuse fucking me, but it's not-so-little-Negan, i thought we agreed on that?"

"We didn't agree on anything," Rachel teases.

"What the fuck ever." Negan rolls his eyes. "So she thinks i'm hot?" He smiles, suddenly feeling a little more confident and standing tall.

"Why don't you go join in the conversation?"

"Fuck yeah." Negan smirks.

Rachel grabs his arm, pulling him back. "Not with them. I meant with _them._ " She points in the direction of a group of men.

"Can't i just go talk to the women?" Negan pouts.

"No, you can't."

"The fuck am i supposed to talk to them about?"

"I don't know? Whatever it is guys talked about before. Why don't you talk about sports?"

"Yeah, i could strike up a conversation about baseball, since i used to fucking coach it."

"Maybe that's not such a good idea, you might want to stick with football," Rachel suggests.

He nods. "Good call," Negan says before he makes his way over, downing the rest of his drink in the process. He stands a few moments, never feeling as much as an outsider as he does right now. 

"You think we'll ever have football again?" A guy with a rather large moustache asks.

"Shit, i hope so. Maybe we could start up our own league?"

"Yeah, i'll go pull some players out my ass," Moustache guy chuckles. "You won't get class players round here. Not like Rodgers."

"Were you a Green Bay fan?" Moustache guys nods in response. "See, i knew there was a reason i didn't like you."

"They were class, you can't tell me different. Who did you support?"

"Cowboys."

"Oh, shit, you hear that?"

"They had nothing on Sherman," Negan chips in. They stare at him as if he were aiming a gun in their direction, their faces ranging from wariness to annoyance.

One of them holds up a hand. "Wait, were you a Seahawks man?"

"All the way," Negan says, clearing his throat.

"Well get the hell in here." He smiles. "I'm gonna need your support if i'm gonna argue how great they were."

Negan drops his shoulders in relief, stepping into the circle of men.

Rachel watches him with a smile as their talk goes from football, to what Negan did before, and though there are a few raised eyebrows at his mention of coaching a baseball team, there are more smiles at his sports knowledge, moustache guy being more than impessed that he used to coach football.

~

A few beers later, and Negan steps out for some air, a smile plastered on his face. He felt good. Sure, some of them still gave him wary glances, but most of them had seemed to soften as the evening had gone on.

As he sits on the back porch, he hears heels clicking against the wooden boards, lifting his head to see a red headed woman.

"Hi." She smiles, holding a glass of wine in her hand.

Negan rises to his feet, pretty sure this was the woman Rachel had pointed out earlier.

"I saw you in there earlier, everyone seems to be taking to you," she says.

"They do, who'd have fucking thought?"

She moves in closer, leaning her body into his. "They were bound to thaw eventually, can't resist that old Negan charm."

Negan raises an eyebrow. "You think so, uh?"

Rachel rounds the corner, stopping as she sees the two of them. She takes a step back, keeping within hearing distance.

"I do." She smiles seductively, and Negan feels not-so-little-Negan twitching against his boxers. "Maybe we should get outta here? My place is empty, i'm sure we'd have a lot more fun than making small talk with people we don't really like."

Negan swallows thickly, glancing at her low cut dress. "I'm sure we would, but i'm a one woman man."

"Really? That's not what _i_ heard. I heard you used to have multiple women on the go. You must have one hell of an appetite?"

"I do, but that's not me anymore."

"I find it hard to believe that one woman could satisfy your needs." She smirks.

"Listen, sweetheart. I'm flattered, i really fucking am. But i wouldn't risk what i have with Rachel for nothing. If you really need some dick, moustache guy seems like he hasn't gotten laid in years. Good luck." Negan smiles, patting her on the shoulder before he heads back inside.

Rachel breathes a sigh of relief, a smile crossing her face.

~

"Hey, Negan." Rick waves a hand towards the back room.

"What?" Negan asks. Rick just gestures with his head, swaying a little on his feet. Negan makes his way to the back room. "If you wanna make out with me or some shit, then it's a no, i've got a girl now." Negan chuckles.

Rick squints his eyes, shaking his head. "I've got _this_ ," he says, pulling out a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard.

"Holy shit! That's some good shit right there."

"I knew you'd appreciate it." Rick smiles, falling down on a small sofa. He pats the space beside him. "Grab two glasses and take a seat."

Negan doesn't have to be told twice. "So, are we friends now or some shit?" He asks, sitting down beside him.

"Maybe.. just don't tell anyone i said that." Rick laughs, pouring the whiskey into the glasses.

"You look two sheets to the goddamn wind, aren't you supposed to be on baby duty?"

"He's fine," Rick says. "I got Carl to look in on him. That's what kids are for, right?"

"Fucked if i know, i never had any." Negan takes a sip of his whiskey, smiling as it warms his chest. "Shit this is good."

Many glasses later, Negan and Rick lay back against the sofa, the subject going from how things were before, to their women.

"Yeah, Michonne's great. Nothing gets past her though.. she's gonna have my ass for getting Carl to mind Jamie," Rick slurs.

"They _are_ fucking great though. Rachel's put up with so much of my bullshit, it's a damn wonder she's still with me. Dynamite in the sack as well."

"She sure is."

"Yeah.. wait.. what?" Negan turns to Rick.

"What?" Rick frowns.

"The fuck did you just say?"

"Why? What did i say?" Rick squints his eyes.

"I said she's dynamite in the sack, and _you_ said, _she sure is_ _._ "

"Did i? I was talking about Michonne."

Negan stares at him, his brows furrowed. "Did you fuck Rachel?"

"What? No," Rick says, not sounding too convincing.

Negan rises to his feet, swaying a little. "Holy shit! You did, didn't you?"

Rick gets up off the sofa, holding up his hands. "Okay, i did, but it was a long time ago. Back when we were at the prison."

"That's fucking disgusting.. i think i'm gonna be sick." Negan rests his hand against a desk, struggling to catch his breath as the world spins around him.

"Negan, it's not a big deal, it was just a one off."

"Not a big deal? I can imagine the two of you together, you with your.." Negan grimaces.  "It's fucking gross as shit."

"Hey, you trying to say i'm gross?"

"You sticking your thing in my girl is gross. Oh, i bet you were feeling smug as shit every time you came to my cell."

"Little bit." Rick smirks.

"Get fucked." Negan sneers.

"I did.. three times in one night," Rick teases, holding up four fingers.

"You little fucker!" Negan spits, running towards Rick.

Rick flies backwards through the door, Negan falling on top of him. A sea of people turn in unison, shocked gasps filling the room.

Rick knees Negan in the crotch, scrambling to his feet quite swiftly in spite of his bad leg.

Negan struggles to breathe, doubled over as Rick runs towards him. They wrestle one another outside, a string of curses leaving their lips.

"Come on," Negan motions with his hands. "Take your best shot, Grandpa."

"Grandpa? You're older than i am," Rick spits before he throws a punch, connecting with Negan's eye.

"Ahh, fuck!" Negan rushes towards him, splattering Rick's nose. "You want me to fuck your other leg up?"

Rachel, Daryl, and Michonne run out, racing towards them.

"What the hell is going on?!" Michonne yells.

Daryl pulls Rick off Negan, Eugene and moustache guy pulling back Negan.

" _He_ slept with Rachel!" Negan yells.

"What?" Michonne turns to Rachel.

"Jesus, Negan. Could you word it better?" She turns to Michonne. "Back at the prison, it was just the once."

"Oh." Michonne frowns.

"Yeah, and he just attacked me like a crazy man!" Rick shouts.

"Crazy? I'll show you fucking crazy!" Negan breaks free from their grip whilst Rick kicks out his good leg. Negan is snagged back by a third guy.

"Take them to the cells," Michonne says, waving a hand in annoyance.

"What?!" Negan and Rick say in unison.

~

"You can't put me in here! I run this place!" Rick yells as he holds onto the bars.

"It's just till ya both sober up," Daryl says before he heads up the stairs.

"Hey!" Negan shouts. "Don't you walk away! It's _his_ damn fault!" He gestures towards Rick in the next cell.

"My fault? It's not my fault you can't handle that Rachel has a past."

"You slept with my girl! I'm not fucking talking to you, prick!"

"I told you she was a whore."

Negan looks at the cell across from his with wide eyes. "The fuck did you say, Jolly Green?"

"A whore," Beta sneers.

Negan smacks his hands against the bars. "Don't you talk about her like that! I'll fucking kill you, just you fucking wait till i get out of here!"

"Hey, he's not worth it," Rick reasons with Negan, suddenly feeling much more sober. "He's just trying to push your buttons."

"Oh, are you on my fucking side now?" Negan turns to Rick.

"Come on, Negan. You didn't even know she existed back then."

"It's not the point?"

"Then what _is_ the point, Negan?"

"I don't fucking know." Negan makes his way over to the cot, parking his ass down. Rick does the same, watching him intently. "I just.. i'm a jealous fucker, i can't help it."

"Well start helping it. You've got nothing to worry about, you know Rachel adores you."

Negan runs a hand through his hair. "I know that, it's just hard."

"It doesn't have to be," Rick says.

Negan glances around the cell, chuckling lightly. "How the fuck did we get here?"

"Too much drink." Rick smiles. "To be honest, i'm not looking forward to getting out, Michonne's gonna kill me."

"Well if she kicks you out, you can have our sofa." Negan smiles.

"Thanks for that." Rick nods, his eyes becoming heavy.

Five minutes later, they both lie snoring on their cots, spit drying in the corner of their mouths.


	25. The Final Chapter

Light comes in through the curtains, Negan rubbing at his eyes. He glances over at Rachel with a smile as she lies with her back to him. Negan runs an arm down her waist, rubbing his erection against her ass.

She stirs, grumbling lightly as she wakes up. "Have you been at the viagra again?"

"Fuck no, this one's home grown, one of my very own," he whispers, nuzzling her neck. "Come on, baby. What do you say? Best way to start the fucking day. Let's not fucking waste this bad boy."

Rachel turns to him, brushing her lips against his as he grinds his hip against hers teasingly.

Their bedroom door bursts open. "Mommy, Daddy!"

"Shit!" Negan frowns, jumping off Rachel.

They jump on the bed, shouting for them both to get up.

"Cock blocking little shit's," Negan mutters under his breath.

"What, Daddy?"

"Nothing, princess. Why don't you and your brother go get dressed? Me and Mommy aren't decent."

"Are we still gonna practice later? You promised?" She asks.

"Of course, sweetie. But me and Daddy need to get dressed first. Now go on, you go brush your teeth. Make sure your brother brushes his properly."

"Okay." She hops off the bed, her brother following suit.

Negan turns to Rachel. "Quickie?"

"Not when the kids are up." She smiles, getting out of bed.

"Shit!" Negan grumbles.

Though both of them had been sure they couldn't have any, Rachel had gone through a week of morning sickness until she'd finally gone to see Carson, sure that it must have been some thing else. But as Carson had told her she was indeed pregnant, she'd been in shock. The shock was quickly replaced with fear. The fear of bringing a child into a world like this. How would they cope? What if Alexandria became overrun?

She'd gone home and sat down on her bed, waiting until Negan had finished his shift on the wall.

He'd come home, standing at the bedroom door with a frown. "Baby? What's wrong?" He'd asked, walking over to her.

"I.. i just got back from the doctor's."

His heart had sunk, sure she was meeting the same fate as Lucille. He was being punished once again.

She'd took note of the look on his face. "I'm okay. It's just.. i'm pregnant."

He'd stared at her for what felt like hours, when in fact it had only been moments. "You sure?" She'd nodded, dropping her head. "Holy fuck! I'm gonna be a Daddy?" Negan had beamed, grinning from ear to ear.

His reaction had been exactly what she'd needed, and she'd found herself feeling happiness for the first time since she'd found out.

"Negan. Aren't you scared?"

"Sure, but this baby is gonna be a complete fucking badass, especially with us for parents."

And so she'd told herself that everything would be fine, that they'd raise him or her to handle themselves.

As they'd had their first scan, Negan had almost fainted when they'd found out they were having twins. For the first time, he'd felt genuine fear, fear that lasted until the second scan, and he found out they were having both a girl and a boy.

She'd gone into labour two weeks early, and Carson had been at Hilltop, so she'd given birth with the help of Negan, Michonne, and Daryl.

Negan had held her hand as she sat in their lounge, leant back against a sofa with a couple of blankets beneath her.

"That's it, baby. You're doing great, just keep pushing," he'd encouraged her. Then Rachel had let out a scream so piercing, Negan had been terrified.

"Baby's crowning, Negan, come see," Michonne had said.

Negan had looked at Michonne, horrified at the thought. "No thanks, i'm good up here."

"You don't wanna miss this," Michonne had insisted.

Negan had peeked over, and in that moment, it was the worst, most horrific thing, he had ever seen. Watching the very place that he loved so dearly having a giant, baby head coming out of it. But his breath had suddenly ceased as Rachel had continued to push, his eyes watering as their child's face had made an appearance. Negan had whimpered as their chest had come out, his baby letting out a gurgle before Rachel pushed once more, and Michonne took them in her arms.

"It's a girl," Negan had sobbed. "Our daughter."

Michonne had laid their baby girl on Rachel's chest, Negan cooing over her, a tear rolling down his cheek as she wrapped her hand around his little finger.

When Rachel's time to push had come again, Daryl had taken their daughter and wrapped her in a blanket. Second time around, he had been eager to watch his son be born, and how Negan had cried when he'd come into the world.

Later that night, he'd sat next to Rachel on the bed as she slept, tandem feeding the twins. His son had started to cry, and Negan had gently lifted his head, guiding his son towards her nipple.

"That's it little, guy. You'll get the hang of it." Negan had smiled, stroking his son's dark crop of hair.

They had named them Emily, and Evan. Negan had given up his fight for Negan Jr after a week, realising it wasn't going to happen.

They'd had a stinker of an argument when the twins were six months old, Rachel insisting she was ready to go back out hunting.

"What if something happens to you out there?!" Negan had yelled.

"Since when has anything happened? I need to get back out there, Negan. I can't afford to get comfy here."

"What the fuck are the babies supposed to eat?"

"There's expressed milk in the freezer. I'll be back in a day or two."

"And what if you _don't_ come back?!" He had fumed.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. They have people watching the roads, we see a walker once every few days on average."

She'd left mid argument, kissing her babies goodbye. Negan had felt sick. Partly in case she didn't make it back, but mostly at the thought of how they had left things. The thought of her dying with them being mad at each other nearly drove him insane. How he'd held her so tightly when she'd come back through the gate a day later.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't ever wanna leave things like that again."

"Maybe it was too soon? I've missed my babies," she'd said, eager to see them.

Negan had shook his head. "No, baby. You were right. You're important to this place, just.. promise me you'll be really fucking careful?"

"I promise."

And so they'd gotten into a pattern, Rachel going out hunting a day or two a week, and Negan taking on most of the childcare. If someone had said to him before the world changed that he'd be spending his days feeding, burping, and changing dirty diapers, he would've laughed at the idea. But it was the best thing he ever did. Watching their first steps, hearing their first words, though Rachel had been furious that Evan's first word had been shit. Her mood had soon thawed after hearing Emily say Dadda for the first time, and her heart melting as Evan said his second word, which was Momma.

Watching Negan with their children was like watching a lion take care of a mouse. It was the strangest thing, not something she'd ever imagined, and yet here was this big bad wolf, singing them lullabies, playing peek a boo for hours on end, and he was never impatient with them, not once. When the twins had both been teething, he'd laid with them all night, doing his best to soothe them. Her heart had ached something fierce as she'd watched the three of them sleeping soundly, the twins heads resting against his chest, his arms wrapped round them protectively.

But today, today Negan was nervous. As he dresses in his usual white t-shirt and grey pants, he turns to Rachel with a frown.

"Are we really gonna do this, baby?"

Rachel nods. "We have to. We promised them. And it _is_ their tenth birthday."

"So why don't we just bake them a fucking cake? Evan doesn't even wanna go."

"I know he doesn't, which is why you can take Emily today, and i'll take him in a few days. He has to learn, Negan."

"Come on, Rachel. We haven't seen a walker at the wall for the last week."

"And you know how quickly that can change."

He nods, sliding his knife into it's sheath.

~

Negan walks through the woods outside Alexandria, his grip tight on Emily's hand. They'd been out there for over an hour, and he was feeling rather relieved that they hadn't come across a walker.

"I think we should head home, sweetie. We've been out long enough."

"Look, Daddy." Emily points towards a shadow in the distance.

 _Shit!_ Negan thinks, his heart suddenly sinking. "Alright, you remember what i said, just wait."

"Okay, Daddy." She smiles sweetly, seeming a little too excited for a ten year old girl faced with a walker.

"Now, you're too small to reach him, so you're gonna have to knock that fucker down, the way Mommy showed you."

"Okay." Emily nods, taking out her knife.

"Alright, come on you, fucker," Negan snarls. As the walker stumbles across to him, Emily comes up behind it, kicking it hard in the back of it's kneecap. It falls down, and before Negan has time to panic, she plunges her knife into it's skull.

"I did it!" She cheers.

"You sure did, sweetie." Negan smiles, feeling more than proud. "How did it feel?"

Emily shrugs her shoulders. "It's not a person anymore, that's what Mommy said."

"And Mommy is right, as always. You wanna head back? There might be cake."

"Yes. Can we come out again?"

"Maybe in another week." Negan smiles.

~

Evan releases the arrow, watching as it goes straight through the target. "Mom! Did you see that?"

"I did, you're getting better than me." She smiles proudly, ruffling his hair.

Evan had taken to the bow like a duck to water. So she'd had him practicing every other day, honing his skills. Emily was her father's daughter, she'd shown no interest in the bow, much preferring knives and hand to hand combat. Evan was much more gentle, soft even.

"Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Do.. do i have to go out?"

Rachel kneels down in front of him, taking his hands in hers. "Yes, you do."

"But.. i don't want to."

"I know that. But we all have to do things we don't want to, and we all have to be ready. It's important that you're ready, Evan. You have to learn how to take those things down. I know it's hard. I remember my first walker, i was terrified, but the relief you feel after, that more than makes up for it."

"Can't i just shoot it with my arrow? I just.. i don't like the idea of.. you know." Evan makes a stabbing gesture.

"I promise you, sweetheart. The first time we go out, i'll let you use your arrows. But once it's on the ground, you're going to have to use your knife."

"But what if it gets me?"

Rachel places her hand beneath his chin. "I would _never_ let that happen."

"Do you wish i was more like Emily?"

Rachel shakes her head with a smile. "No, you're sensitive. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact, that's a good quality to have. It just means you're going to have to fight harder to push past it when you need to. But you never have to compromise who you are. Always keep that sensitive side, it'll keep you honest, and compassionate towards others."

"Can i shoot some more?"

"Of course you can." Rachel rises to her feet, watching him with a smile.

~

Negan makes his way over to Rick's house, children playing outside as Rick watches them from the porch.

"Hey, Negan." Jamie smiles.

"Hey, Jamie."

"Do we still have baseball practice tomorrow?" Jamie asks.

"We sure do. Gonna show those Hilltop assholes who's boss, aren't we, kid?" Negan ruffles his hair.

"We sure are. Is basketball straight after?"

"If jolly green's back by then. He's turned traitor, coaching the other side." Negan shakes his head. "Fucking fucker."

"Hey, i'd prefer if you didn't teach my son bad language." Rick frowns as he sits on the porch swing.

Negan sits beside him, letting out a deep breath. "Sorry, Rick. If he doesn't hear it from me though, he'll only hear it from someone else."

"Hmm. So how did it go out there with Emily?"

"She's a natural. Better than her old man. It actually scared me a little how much she enjoyed it."

"Should we be worried?" Rick raises an eyebrow.

"Not as long as she sticks with walkers." Negan watches as Shaun gives Emily a flower from the garden. "Hey, the fuck is that?"

"What?" Rick frowns.

"Your little grandson there acting smooth as shit."

Rick laughs. "They're just kids, Negan."

"Yeah, well you'd best tell that son of yours to keep his one good eyeball on his kid, i don't want him messing around with my little girl."

Rick shakes his head in disbelief. "How's Evan?"

Negan runs a hand over his beard. "He's soft, like his Mother. It's gonna take him a while to get used to how things are. If it were me, i'd take things easy on him, but Rachel.. i know she's right, he needs to learn this shit, but it's hard for him. He's my boy, i don't like seeing him upset."

"Who would have thought? Negan, the sensitive type," Rick teases.

"Yeah, well kids fucking do that to you."

"You want a beer?" Rick asks, reaching for the cooler.

"I thought you'd never ask. Where's Daryl? I need to talk to him about Evan."

"He went out on a hunt. What did you want him for?"

"Rachel seems to think that Evan might make a good hunter, but she's worried about taking him out, that he might not think he's safe. So i was thinking maybe Daryl could go with them, that way he can teach Evan tracking and shit, whilst Rachel watches their backs. It'll make Evan feel safer, and make me feel a whole fuck load better about it."

Rick nods. "I can't see Daryl having a problem with that. If you don't see him first, i'll mention it when he gets back."

"Good." Negan takes a swig of his beer, looking down at his hands. "Rick."

"Yeah?"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Sure," he says, not feeling sure at all.

"Do you ever.." Negan clears his throat. "Do you ever wake up and.. your morning boner isn't there?"

Rick stares at him, his mouth agape. "Jesus, Negan. What kinda question is that?"

"A fucking simple one."

"Well.. yeah.. sometimes. I mean, we're not getting any younger, Negan. You're what? Sixty five?"

"The fuck i am, i'm sixty fucking four!"

"The hell you are, you're older than me."

"What the fuck ever. But seriously, Rick, what the fuck's up with that? That's my morning boner, where the fuck has it gone?"

"Can you keep your damn voice down?!" Rick frowns, glancing at the children. "Look, it's just nature. Shit happens as you get older. Take Michonne, she's going through the change, and you know what she did the other day?"

"What?"

"She nearly threw a damn plate at my head. Then the next minute, she just started crying. Just you wait, won't be long till Rachel gets like that. Missing boners will be the least of your worries."

"I see your point." Negan takes another swig of his beer, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Shh, they're here," Rick says as Michonne and Rachel head down the yard. "Hey, ladies. Beer?" Rick offers.

Michonne stands with her hand on her hip. "You think they were talking about us?"

"Probably," Rachel says. "And no thanks, Rick. I want to get the kids an early night, school starts early tomorrow."

"Really?" Rick frowns. "I didn't know that."

"Joan's sick, so they're sending someone over from Hilltop. He doesn't want to be travelling on the road so close to dark," Rachel says. "Come on, Negan, dinner's nearly done."

Negan gets up with a smile, rubbing at his stomach. "I knew there was a reason i fucking love you so much."

~

" _And so the big bad wolf fell down the chimney and into the pot of boiling water. The three little pigs lived happily_ _ever_ _after,_ " Negan reads. "Little fuckers, could've invited him in," he says as he closes the book. He glances from left to right with a smile as Emily and Evan sleep soundly, Evan sucking on his thumb.

Negan heads to his bedroom, Rachel already dozing lightly. He creeps into bed, wrapping an arm around her.

"They get to sleep alright?" Rachel whispers.

"Yeah. You know i'm coaching baseball tomorrow?"

"Yeah, i'm going to come and watch you." Rachel buries her head in his chest, draping an arm over his waist.

"Really?"

"Hmm."

Negan kisses her forehead. "I love you, baby."

"Love you, Negan."

** Author's Note  **

Thanks for reading guys, i got a bit emotional finishing this. I'll probably use Rachel for a one shot at some point as i love her character. I have used her before in some of my Negan Short stories, so feel free to check them out. Xx


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